In today’s society divorce is more prevalent than ever. No one anticipates the possibility that one day the person you believed to be the love of your life will become the source of so much pain, discord, anger, and disappointment.
How you choose to handle this very difficult time of your life will not only determine the duration of your healing process but also who you become on the other side.
Here are 5 steps to surviving a divorce
Step 1 – Take it one day at a time.
Hold on to the assurance that you won’t always feel this way. This may be the most painful thing you have experienced but time does heal. Give yourself permission to feel all of the emotional stages: pain, anger, rejection, bitterness, exhaustion….just don’t stay there forever.
Have faith and believe that you can get through this. One day you will find happiness again if you are willing to wait on it. There is someone out there who will appreciate you for who you are.
Step 2 – Find a strong support system.
Create a strong support system to lean on. Good friends, family members and or the help of a professional will be beneficial in getting through the tough patches.
Talking about it and giving yourself time are often the most effective things you can do. A therapist that specializes in this area can provide much needed support and necessary coping skills.
Step 3 – Protect your children.
If children are involved don’t put them in the middle and please do not make them choose. Realize that your child is also hurting. Lean on your support system and remain the parent. Your child needs you now more than ever.
There will be plenty of time for tears when you are alone. Divorce can have life-long effects on a child. Try your best to be amicable and when at all possible forgive. Think of the incredible example you will be to your child.
Step 4 – Don’t lose yourself or your dignity.
Heartache will often lead us to act out of character. I promise you that what you do in those moments of pain and anger will have lasting results. You will thank yourself and others will admire your strength if you stay in control of your emotions and walk away with your head up high.
Step 5 – Reinvent yourself.
Find a new hobby! This is a good time to do all of the things you didn’t do while you were married. Going to the club with your girlfriends may seem like the thing to do but you will figure out very quickly that you are probably not emotionally ready for what is out there. Instead invest some time in rediscovering yourself. You may be surprised how much you enjoy your new independence and freedom.
Remember, “divorce” does not define YOU! This, like what we’ve experienced through most of our lives is an experience, not necessarily a positive one but nevertheless an experience. Don’t let the pain; disappointment and shame of your divorce stop you from moving forward. God does not give us more than we can handle. Take it one day at a time and use your inner strength.
If you are struggling with getting through this difficult time, call Life Counseling Solutions at 407-622-1770to help support and give you the tools to get through this process.
Author: Veronica Concepcion