I remember coming home from the hospital with a new baby and feeling the fear, excitement and overwhelming stress of it all. Taking care of the baby, laundry, meals, and even taking a shower was like trying to juggle with my hands tied behind my back. For a new mom when trying to juggle household tasks, the most common emotions can be feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
You can’t accomplish as much as you would like to and the baby pulls you in so many different directions during the day. Trying to get it all done can just be too much! This is a huge adjustment for a mom.
It is common to have feelings of happiness, to feel energized, excited but also fatigued, overwhelmed, irritable, problems sleeping and feeling sad. You can feel happy and thrilled and then a moment later tired, anxious and helpless.
So trying to juggle household tasks can seem like walking on a tight rope while carrying the baby on your hip. Being a new mom is a wonderful experience but also an emotional and physical adjustment for the mom, her husband/ partner and family.
3 Ways to help a new Mom Cope and Juggle it all!
Have A Plan.
Having a plan before the baby comes makes the adjustment easier. Many of us have agonized over detailed birth plans but what about after the birth? A “Mommy Plan” is just as important. The place to begin is with your spouse or partner.
Before the birth of the baby outline tasks that will need to be completed to baby proof your relationship with your spouse and the transition to parenthood. Your relationship with your spouse or partner is important and communication can take a hit because of lack of sleep, stress and new roles.
You may both face resenting one another if you don’t outline tasks and put supports in place. This can be as simple as your spouse/partner organizing take out menus and calling in dinner every night for the first week and doing the laundry.
Ask For Help.
A new mom may not even know how to ask for help. Another reason A “Mommy Plan” is important. Educating family and friends as to what the mom will need can take the stress out of having to ask for help. It is hard to ask for help and many new moms may feel weak, fearful that someone will say no, think they should do it all on their own or that they have lost control. New moms need help even if you are a CEO.
When asking for help a new mom should know that it is “ok” to ask and that many times people want to help but don’t know how to. New mom’s need *to be specific* and ask for a meal, help with the laundry, grocery shopping and watching the baby so she can take a nap. It can be as straight forward as calling a friend and saying, “Can you watch the baby for 30 minutes so I can take a shower?” Someone may say” No” but don’t take it personal. Keep asking as there will be another
person who will say “Yes”.
FYI, statistically, there are more people that will say “Yes” than “No”. People want to help but they may just not get the opportunity or are waiting to be asked.
Delegating for a new mom can begin as early as the baby shower. Having a “Mommy Registry” is something that can be put in place for the expectant mother. Along with baby gifts, the Mommy Registry can provide mom with specific support such as meals, help cleaning the house, grocery shopping, baby sitting and” Mommy Me Time”. Mom’s should be asking for this support. It is just as important as a decked out nursery … even more so!
A new mom’s ability to Plan, ask for help and delegate will reduce overwhelming feelings, anxiety and soften the transition to motherhood; allowing her to enjoy the new experience of being a mom and connect with her baby. It can also baby proof her marriage, relationship with her partner and ease her return to work.
These are simple ways to help a new mom cope and look after herself so she can look after her baby, and have a healthy relationship with her spouse/partner. It doesn’t work any other way, “It is a deposit in the Mommy Coping Account”.
For more information on Mommy Coping…. call Orlando Women’s Counseling with life Counseling Solutions at 407- 622-1770.
Author: Marva Caldwell