Singledom: we’re either there, been there, or going to be there!
This stage and time in our lives is something we all, as human beings, hold in common. Everyone, regardless of size, color, economic position, power, or geographic location will experience this very moment in their lives at some point. How we take advantage of this time is up to us on an individual basis. There can be power in your singleness, you just have to uncover it.
This process is intense and incredibly different for a person who is single versus someone who is in a relationship. This is the time to not only discover your likes and passions but also to discover your own personal barriers to finding healthy love. You need to uncover that power, gently, by peeling away layer after layer of who you are, why you are the way you are, and who you want to be. There is power in knowing your previous relationship triggers, your deep individual hidden issues and expectations. While you are single, self-exploring and reflecting, you have the ability to take the steps necessary for change without affecting anyone but YOURSELF.
Uncover: Self-discovery can be a bumpy journey but it is o’ so worth it. Begin by journaling or meditating on the events that have made a significant impact in your life. Ask yourself, what consequences has it had on me personally and romantically? What behaviors do I display when I am triggered by similar events? What are those triggers or events? Acknowledge the purpose those circumstances may have had in your life and make the decision to be different. Give yourself permission to not be a victim of the past and to be open to new life lessons as they come.
There is power in knowing your worth.
Your self-worth is something no one can take from you. It is uniquely and beautifully yours. Many find their worth in others, particularly their romantic partners. If there was an argument that morning or if they are having problems in their relationship they find it hard to go on with their daily lives and it may even effect their self-esteem. As a single, you have a leg up! You have the advantage of being able to recognize, claim, and own your self-worth now before you partner up with anyone else. Having this knowledge is so mighty and pivotal to success in your future relationships.
Uncover: Claiming and owning that worth can be tricky, but it is doable. We need to quite that voice in our heads that tells us we’re not good enough, not good-looking enough, we’re broken and not worthy of love. This voice is filled with lies and should be commanded to leave. Replace those once negative intrusive thoughts with positive affirmations. Take inventory of your unique qualities and accomplishments. Begin to affirm these thoughts and say them out loud. Believe them. Look into a mirror and tell yourself: I am special, I am beautiful, I am GOOD ENOUGH just the way I am.
Self-bliss is a gift not all people possess. Many find it hard to be alone and rely on others to bring their spirits up. Wouldn’t it be amazing to find contentment and joyfulness alone? This is a question many singles want answered. As a single, it’s critical that you can find this happiness before getting
into a relationship. Because the fact of the matter is that once you’re in that relationship and the butterflies fade away and you realize no one can complete you or make you happy, you are left with that same discontent as when you were once single. Sure there is bliss, joy, excitement and fun that comes along with being in a relationship (relationships are beautiful and purposeful). But if you are not ok with YOU then that will surely seep into your future relationships, romantic or not.
Uncover: When you discover that you are in control of your own joy you will begin to find happiness in every corner! It is time to take note and acknowledge all the wonderful things around you that make you smile. Is it when you catch your neighbor checking their mail in their underwear, thinking no one can see them? Is it that moment alone when you accidentally put salt in your coffee because you are too tired to notice it’s not sugar? Is it that moment when your niece or nephew, happy to see you, runs to you and yells your name from across the room? When are these moments for you? What do these moments entail? Imprint them in your mind, don’t forget them, replay them, and appreciate that you have these opportunities in your life.
The power of your singleness is at your fingertips. Some sit around and frown expecting someone to fix them, tell them their self-worth or bring them happiness, when in reality that is the individual’s job. We need to take back the reins and begin the forward motion steps towards finding that purpose in your singlehood. Make the conscious decision to start living life on YOUR own terms.
Do you want more assistance and empowerment in your singleness? We are here to help! Free Consultation. Call Life Counseling Solutions at 407-622-1770 or click here to set up a free 15-minute phone consult or appointment.