Five Tips To Improve Your Self-Esteem

Five Tips To Improve Your Self-Esteem

Do you sit in the mirror with jaded lens and pin point all of your flaws? Do you find yourself daydreaming of how much happier you would if you could just change a certain part of your body? Do you hide behind layers of clothing? You are not alone and many are in the same struggle towards self acceptance.

I was that young teen afraid of the mirror. The mirror showed me a side of myself that I despised and wished I could magically change. I had wonderful friends that loved and accepted me but that just wasn’t enough for me to love myself. This self-hatred poured into my adult years but I learned to mask it a little better. I wore a girdle on a daily basis, spent hours on my hair and make-up, and hid behind jokes, kindness, and being a pretty awesome human being BUT even with the approval of others I could not stand to look at myself in the mirror.

Orlando Self Esteem CounselingI know I am not alone and that many have experienced or are experiencing this very same thing. What I can say is that this self-inflicted emotional abuse does not need to consume your life and does have an end. It is not an easy journey but I can honestly say that it is possible to love yourself wholly and accept yourself for who you are and where you are.

Stop the negative self-talk.

Have you ever taken a day to just listen to your self-talk? Your self-talk are the comments you say to yourself about yourself. For example, if you drop your lunch […]

Performance Based Self-Identity

Self-identity is the recognition of someone’s potential and qualities as an individual. When we have a balanced view of our self-identity, we can find the worth and value in the many facets that make us human. For example, a person can say I am smart, I am kind to others, I am attractive, I have a great sense of humor, I have a good work ethic, etc. However, many people find their self-identity, and their self-worth, not in who they are, but what they do.

This is called Performance Based Self-Identity.

Performance Based Self-Identity creates two types of people: perfectionists and avoiders. Both of these types of people have the same mantra of “I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself” (taken from “The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee- highly recommended!)

self-identity, performance, failing, workaholicBeing a perfectionist is often viewed as a good trait because perfectionists work hard, get things done, and are reliable; however, being a perfectionist means that impossible standards are set and never obtained. No one is perfect; therefore, setting out to be is impossible and frustrating when not achieved. The perfectionist’s thinking of him or herself looks like, “Today, I got a 100% on my AP test; I got the highest promotion at work; I am a mom who has it all together…therefore, I am good/valuable/worthy/etc.” While these are all wonderful achievements, situations and circumstances change on a daily basis, so if a perfectionist feels valuable because he got the highest promotion, what will happen to his self-worth if he gets fired or laid off? This is when the perfectionist spirals into a state of devastation […]

4 Healthy Boundaries in Social Media | Orlando Counseling Services

Strength Behind the Screen

In a world of selfies, hashtags, and tweets, social media and the pressures it brings have bombarded our lives. It is well understood by now that social media can be used to bring harm, heartache, and even “acceptance” to its users, but it is surprising how often we gain “strength” behind the screen to promote, defend and process.


The most common types of statuses and comments that we come across (or have posted ourselves) are ones like the following:

The passive aggressive, not so passive status: “I usually do not post statuses like this, but I just have to vent with how frustrated I am with…”

The vague, not so vague, post about someone, who knows that they’re the someone that the post is about: “I want to unfollow you because I see you with her, but I can’t because it’s my only connection to you.”

The posts that are fishing for compliments: “Feeling frustrated because I can’t seem to shake these last few pounds” which are usually followed by “What are you talking about?! You look amazing!”

The outright fights that people have via comments, which doesn’t need an example. We’ve all seen it!

While social media can be fun and even beneficial at times, it is important to understand when to limit yourself and your thoughts to the entire world. Here are some helpful tips to keep healthy boundaries online and to take that strength that you have behind the computer or phone screen into the real world.

  1. Do not pick fights over the Internet – When you are upset with someone social media is not the place to hash things out, even if they start the […]

Friends With Benefits: Is It Really A Benefit?

Friends With Benefits: Is It Really A Benefit?

A Walk in Jane Doe’s Shoes

Jane Doe wakes up every morning and goes about her day like any regular woman in her twenties and thirties.  She takes her coffee bold, a little extra hot and with a hint of hazelnut for flavor.  She knows what she wants, known for being confident, educated, and even a tad bit sassy.  She is technically single but could pass for the new popular status: “it’s complicated”.  Why?  Because she has fallen into the 50% of woman her age who have, have had, or will have a “friend with benefits”.  So the question might be burning us all to ask, is Ms. Doe really happy with her no-strings-attached boy toy?  Is there really a benefit to having a friend with benefits?

I have had the pleasure of sitting down with this lovely lady we call Jane Doe and many others in her very same situation.  For the most part the decision to just hook up without the ties wasn’t even the plan to begin with.  Ms. Doe in particular has had her friend-with-benefits for two years now who we’ll call John.  She met this gentleman at work and was invited out for drinks one night with a couple other coworkers.  That night after a few too many drinks, she bashfully admits, they both got a bit “carried away” in a night of passion when they were the last two closing down the bar that evening.  She admitted that she was attracted to John from the moment they met, shared flirtatious banter back and forth at work, and read into their fun sexy night as a possible start to a romantic relationship.  […]

Dangers of Teen Codependent Relationships| Orlando Teen Codependency Counseling

Dangers of Teen Codependent Relationships| Orlando Teen Codependency Counseling

Codependency is a term that can be defined as “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.” Unfortunately, codependence can affect anyone and it is an issue that is even affecting teenagers. Codependent relationships in teens can be extremely dangerous, as we have learned by recent events in Windermere, Florida.

Florida Teen Double Suicide Screen shot 2014-03-26 at 10.20.13 PM

On Saturday, March 22nd, two teens shot and killed an officer and then themselves. Suicide notes were found by parents along with notes to each other and plans of the future. The plans included that the couple desired to get married (Brandon Goode being 18 years old and his girlfriend Alex Hollinghurst only 17 years old), steal a boat and sail to Panama. Brandon painted Alex a “romantic” idea of a future by saying, “We could live on a beach, just you and me, forever;” however, this isolation and dependency is exactly what fed into the couple’s toxic relationship. Another letter was found where Brandon was apologizing for creating so many problems for Alex and breaking up with her. According to letters, and the events that ensued on Saturday, obviously the break up did not last.

Often times, teenagers get a tumultuous relationship confused for a passionate one. They think the codependency is romantic rather than unhealthy. And the on again/off again relationship as destiny to be together, rather than being unable to set and maintain healthy boundaries. This kind of behavior is definitely dangerous to one’s mental health, but as Windermere and the families of […]

“Her Story” Orlando Infertility Counseling


Orlando Infertility Counseling with Life Counseling Solutions highlights an Orlando woman who is stepping out as an advocate and writing about “Her Story”.  She is a voice for other women who are feeling alone and struggling with infertility.

“Her Story”

 When my husband and I started trying to get pregnant, we just assumed it would happen naturally and quickly…the way that 50% of women get pregnant within 3 months, 75% within 6 months, and 90% within a year.  After about 9 months of no success, I finally got a referral for a reproductive endocrinologist, and that is when our journey began.  We learned that we had some mild male factor infertility and a low ovarian reserve.  That was a blow to find out, because, at only 32, I still considered myself young and healthy.  Our doctor encouraged us to get started on fertility treatments soon since “time was not on our side.” We started our first round of IUI a few months later.  Despite everything seeming ideal that cycle, we did not have success.  I remember crying the morning I got my period and thinking that it might never happen for us.  It seemed that everyone I know was getting pregnant.  I dreaded going on Facebook because I just knew that someone else would be announcing her pregnancy, but yet I couldn’t resist checking anyway.

We did another round of IUI two months later and at the end of the month, we got the news we had been praying for…a positive pregnancy test!  My beta levels were rising just as they should and we quickly spread the word among our […]

Trash Talking Your Ex:The Long Term Emotional Impact For Children

There is an old saying “There is a fine line between love and hate.” You understand this now.  You never thought you would be so confused, full of anger and overwhelmed by feelings.  Being a divorcee and co-parenting never crossed your mind. You are hurt, angry and trash talking your ex. You try to not to say anything in front of the kids but you have a million passionate words to describe your ex and you were done wrong. The attorney and judge stressed the impact negative comments about your ex partner would have on your kids. So what is the long term emotional impact for your children when trash talking your ex?

We all know kids of divorce. Some of these kids are adults now who have commitment problems, poor self esteem, trust issues and don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. Maybe this is you or your ex? You may have parents who divorced and trash talked each other. Was this your normal? Did this impact you as a child?

Our childhood experiences and behavior modelled by our parents teach us how to interact, trust and develop relationships with those we love. It is doesn’t make sense but we often seek out partners with whom we can play out our unresolved childhood experiences.  So at times we try to re-enact our childhood and heal from the experiences we had as children.  You were impacted as a kid by what your parents said and role modelled for you, the good and the bad. We can’t help it.

Marina Sbrochi an author and writer is researching trash talking […]

Flight Of A Mom With a Special Needs Child, Orlando Women’s Counseling


When we are about to take off on a flight, the flight attendants instruct us about our seat belts, emergency exits and oxygen masks. Few of us pay attention.  We are busy settling a baby, telling our kids not to kick the seat in front of you and getting the DVD player rigged up. However, we are told if the oxygen mask drops from the compartment above to put your mask on first. Do you remember why? You can’t help your child/children if you don’t help yourself first and pass out from lack of oxygen. So why don’t we apply this in other areas of our lives that have taken flight in a direction we haven’t planned for? Especially if you have boarded the flight of a mom with a special needs child.

When we become mothers we often neglect ourselves as we care for our children. I am a mom of two little boys and ride the turbulent flight of health and learning problems for each one of my sons. It has taken time and effort to make sure both have proper care, Doctor’s, OT, PT, Speech, Learning Specialists, finding the right school, educating teachers about their needs, researching and being an advocate.

Maybe your experience began during pregnancy, when your child was born, in the NICU or during his/her first few years of life. You took on the role of being a mom and your child’s care needs are many: appointments, medication, daily functioning, nursing, emotional and social needs. You cope with crisis […]

Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando/Orlando Women’s Counseling

 How to tell if a A Mother  Might Need Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando.

1. She may feel anxious or panicky.

2. She has physical problems such as chest pain, racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, numbness in hands or feet, tingling sensations, nausea or upset tummy.

3. She has upsetting thoughts that she can’t get out of her mind.

4. She feels as if she is going crazy.

5. She feels sad or depressed.

6. She has problems eating or sleeping.

7. She feels like she should have never became a mother.

8. She is feeling more irritable or angry.

9. Feeling like she can’t cope with it all.

10. Worried she might hurt her baby or herself.


Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando.

There is help and no woman has to suffer alone. Women can and do recover. Postpartum depression recovery rates are high and treatment outcomes are successful.  Be an advocate for a mom and learn more about Postpartum Depression and educate those around you about the signs, symptoms, and myths. There is Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando.

If a mom is struggling with her emotions and fears hurting herself or her baby she  needs immediate help, call (911) or take her to the nearest emergency room. Let her know you are willing to walk with her through this by being supportive and not judgmental. Help talk to her doctor, find a counselor/therapist, and remind her she is not alone. By bringing awareness, education and support to the feelings of postpartum depression and […]

The X Factor: 5 Signs You Are NOT Over Your Ex | Breakups


window waiting

“I’m so over him! I don’t care anymore!”

How many times have you said this but shortly thereafter you were wishing you were back together?  Have you ever felt so certain that this time you were going to move on, only to then have the “what if” thoughts flood your brain?  You are not alone!  Did you know that 9 out of 10 people reading this have been on this roller coaster ride?  The thing is …we don’t really like this ride; it’s very difficult to handle.  Some might find themselves daydreaming about their ex or reliving the good times even months or years after the relationship has ended.  They may really want to think that they’re over their ex but subconsciously might be harboring romantic feelings, which can keep them from finding healthy love in which both parties are mutually invested.

Here are some signs that you might still be holding on to the past:

Sign #1: You are still hoping to “bump” into him. 

If you are still going to the same hang out spots, hoping to run into him with your new sexy outfit on, you are not over your ex!  Sure you know his schedule, it involved you, but it doesn’t anymore. That can be a hard realization but until that sinks in, you may find yourself not taking the necessary steps to keep it moving.

Sign #2: You want him to see you happy

girls night out 8If you are posting a usual amount of “party girl” pictures on your social media sites, just so he can see you that you are perfectly fine without […]