Anger Management

Five Ways to Detect Depression in Your Teen

Depression has become a serious problem in our teenage culture. There are many reasons for this trend but it is most important to notice the pressures faced by teens in today’s society. Apart from the pressure from parents to excel at school, teens also face immense pressure from their peers. Teens are struggling with “fitting in” while trying to answer the questions, “Who am I and where do I belong?” Identity is a major factor for teens, they want to associate with others that are likable. It can be quite difficult for a teen if they are unsure about where to fit in or if they are rejected by peers he or she would like to identify with.

Bullying is another factor that has received increased attention. Especially since the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School and the recent shooting at Chardon High School, observations have been made regarding the link between bullying, depression, and homicidal thoughts. According to research, teens that are involved in bullying are more likely to become depressed than teens that stay away from it.  

Research has also touched on the relationship of antidepressants and homicidal thoughts. It has been shown that teens that used antidepressants were more likely to experience suicidal or homicidal thoughts. In the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School, Peter Breggin, a psychiatrist who analyzed the massacre at Columbine, revealed that side effects of anti-depressants may include increased aggression, loss of remorse, depersonalization, and mania.

5 Effects of Pornography on Individuals, Marriage, and Family

Pornography, which is the depiction of graphic sexual acts, has tremendous effects on anyone that continuously engages in its viewing.  It distorts a person’s concept of the nature of sexual relations which in turn can alter his/her sexual attitudes and behavior.  Below are some of the effects pornography has on its viewers.

1) Effects on the Family

Married men (this can also apply to women) who regularly engage in pornography are more likely to be dissatisfied with their wives and can become detached emotionally from them.  Wives may not be aware that their husband is viewing Pornography but they do notice a difference in his attitude toward her.  His change can be due to the fact that Pornography viewing makes you numb to “normal” sexual relations.  The more you are exposed to, the more you want it.  It’s like a never ending vicious cycle.  It may not just be the wife that’s suffering, if children are present they will be affected by their father’s pornography viewing as well.  A consequence of pornography viewing can be a loss of interest in family relations.  That also means less time spent with children.  All the addict can think of is how to satisfy his cravings.  Another problem can arise if a child becomes exposed to the pornographic material or accidentally finds his/her father engaging in Pornography.  This can very much distort the child’s perception of his/her father and the child’s image of healthy sexuality in general.

2)  Effects on the Individual

One […]

5 Destructive Relationship Patterns

Listed below are five distinct types of harmful relationships.  As you read through this list, you might find that your relationship with someone contains all five characteristics, or you may identify with only one or two.  Please understand that if you experience even one of these patterns consistently in your relationship with someone, the behavior will cause harm to both you and your relationship if left unaddressed.

WHEN DOES A RELATIONSHIP BECOME DESTRUCTIVE?

  1. One or both parties commit physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse upon the other.
  2. One person is regularly overprotective, overbearing, or both toward the other.
  3. One person is overdependent upon the other to affirm his or her personal value and worth, to meet all of his or her needs, and to make most of his or her decisions.
  4. One person demonstrates a pattern of deceiving the other through lying, hiding, pretending, misleading, or twisting information to make something appear other than what it is.
  5. One person exhibits chronic indifference, neglect, or both toward the thoughts, feelings, or well-being of the other.

Keep in mind that we are all capable of doing these things.  What makes these actions destructive is their repetitive pattern, as well as lack of awareness, lack of remorse, and lack of significant change.  This distinction should not minimize the destructiveness of […]

5 Healthy Break Up Do’s and Don’ts

Most people have experienced a break-up in their lifetime.  Recently, the entertainment news spotlighted Kim Kardashian’s break-up after 72 days of marriage and Zooey Deschanel split from her husband of only two years!  Break-ups can be traumatic and difficult to get over for most people, so just how can individuals move through a break-up in a healthy way?

5 Healthy Break Up Do’s and Don’ts 

1)  Do break up in person vs. Don’t break up via text or e-mail

  • Address your partner face-to-face so he/she can have a clear understanding of why you want out of the relationship.

2)  Do be honest and direct vs. Don’t lie to him/her

  • Don’t beat around the bush on why you want to call it quits.  He/she deserves to know exactly why you’re unhappy.  Plus, you may help him/her change a behavioral pattern down the line.

3)  Do break up before you stray vs. Don’t drag it out

  • Avoid jumping from one relationship to the next and avoid the guilt and drama that come along with cheating by recognizing when it’s time to let go, and then actually letting go.  It’s also a good idea to give yourself some space before you move on to the next one.

4)  Do express your feelings in “safe” ways vs. Don’t try to get rid of the feelings through destructive ways (i.e. drinking, etc.)

  • Don’t run from your feelings, feel your feelings and process them with “safe” people.

5)  Do celebrate your self-worth vs. Don’t do too much

  • Remind yourself about all of your accomplishments.  Remember not to be defined by your breakup.

 

The Characteristics of Poor Communication

Are you facing struggles in your relationships with your friends and loved ones?  Do you feel like the other person does not understand you or never listens to you?  Are you having a hard time communicating with other people in general?  The main reason couples struggle in their relationships is because of poor communication.  Many couples, and people in any other relationships, have a hard time communicating in an effective way.  Most likely, it is not always the “other” person that is in the wrong but you yourself as well.  It can be hard to acknowledge that, because that means we have to give in and agree with the other person but always being right is not what this is about at all.  Let’s take a look at some of the characteristics that lead to poor communication.

           

  1. Truth– You insist that you are “right” and that the other person is “wrong”.
  2. Blame– You say that the problem is the other person’s fault.
  3. Martyrdom– You claim that you are the innocent victim.
  4. Put-down– You imply that the other person is a loser because he or she “always” or “never” does certain things.
  5. Hopelessness– You give up and insist that there is no point in trying.
  6. Demandingness– You say you are entitled to better treatment but you refuse to ask for […]

5 Ways To Deal With Betrayal | Affair Recovery | Orlando Therapy

One thing most people never dream of is their partner betraying them!  Yet, unfortunately, it seems to be the popular topic of conversations these days because of celebrities and their relationships.  Most recently in the spotlight, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, who have been married for 6 years now, might be separating due to Kutcher’s apparent unfaithfulness.  How do you handle unfaithfulness in your relationship?

  Let’s take a look at some tips that might be helpful to you.

1)  Allow Yourself To Grieve

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being upset about what happened.  It would be worse if you were to suppress your feelings and act like it didn’t bother you at all.  Take the time that you need to grieve.  It is ok to cry and let your feelings out.

2)  Seek Support

Talk to a close friend of yours, a close family member, or even seek out a counselor.  This gives you an opportunity to share your experience while being in a safe environment.  Talking to someone else will also enable you to look at the situation from a different perspective, hearing what your friend, family member or counselor has to say about your situation.

3)  Forgive

Forgiving your partner does not mean you have to get back together with him/her. Forgiving simply means that you acknowledge […]

Four Ways To Deal With Guilt

Burdened with feelings of guilt?  Have you done something to cause hurt to your friend or spouse?  Let’s take a look at what you can do when those feelings start to take over your whole being.

 

 1) Pay Attention to the Feelings

  • Guilt is simply a sign telling your conscience that something is wrong.
  • Embrace your feelings, feeling guilty can be a good thing, there is a reason as to why we feel guilty.

2) Determine the Source

  • Are you feeling guilty because you have done or said something that may have caused hurt to someone or are you feeling guilty because you ate too much chocolate today?
  • The ultimate question is:  Are your feelings appropriate?  Do you feel guilty because you really did something morally wrong or are you feeling guilty for something that has no rational purpose?

True Guilt

  • True Guilt means that you feel guilty for a good reason.  You probably have caused hurt to someone close to you.

If that is the case, you have to ask yourself what you can do to fix the problem.  What can you do to receive forgiveness from your friend or spouse?

If for some reason you are not able to apologize […]

Three Ways Jealousy Is Good For Your Relationship

Jealousy is a common topic for most intimate relationships.  Jealousy is an emotion involving fear, anxiety or apprehension about losing your loved one to someone else, or of being replaced in some way.  Since this is a fear-based emotion, it can often bring up other negative emotions like worry and anger.  These can be counterproductive and damaging for relationships.


When someone is jealous in a relationship, he or she can become reactive, assume the worst, fail to notice how his/her partner shows him/her love and appreciation, and instead pay attention primarily to things that confirm his/her negative assumptions.  In saying that, can jealousy be good for a relationship?

There can be unhealthy jealousy which can come from a place of insecurity or from past baggage that you rolled into the new relationship.  However, when there is healthy jealousy it can help a relationship rather than harm it.

What is healthy jealousy?  Healthy jealousy is that concerned, protective feeling that surrounds both parties in the relationship.  Healthy jealousy guards and supports a relationship.

Three Ways Jealousy Is Good For Your Relationship 

 1) Warning Signal – It can be an alarm to let you know that something needs attention in your […]

RUNAWAY HUSBANDS: Warning Signs

WHAT IS WIFE ABANDONMENT SYNDROME (W.A.S.)? 

  • She believed she was in a good, stable marriage until her husband surprised her out-of-the-blue with the news that it was over
  • She was completely unaware that he was thinking of leaving or even unhappy
  • He moved out quickly (often with a girlfriend)
  • From the moment of his announcement, his treatment of his wife changed dramatically from protective to persecuting

HOW W.A.S. AFFECTS WOMEN

  • Bewildered
  • Hurt
  • Enraged
  • Obsessed
  • Deeply traumatized
  • Desperate to make sense of how the husband she trusted could betray her


Warning Signs for Married Women

1.  Has he had affairs in the past or left previous relationships in a similar way, even if you were the one for whom he left his last wife?  That’s the strongest predictor that he has what it takes to do that again.

2. Does he seem uncharacteristically unhappy with his life, even if his complaints are not related to the marriage? It’s a sign that he may be re-thinking his life.

3. Do you notice a personality change? Does he just not seem himself? Is he withdrawn or suddenly irritable? Is he snapping at the children or not wanting to participate in family activities?

4. Are his habits changing – suddenly going to the gym, buying flashier clothes, dying his hair, getting a tattoo, buying an expensive car?

5. Is he taking “business” trips or disappearing for periods of time and the reasons given just don’t seem to make sense?

If you are experiencing any of these signs in your marriage, it is important not to ignore them or just rationalize them away.  Yes, it may be very painful to face, however, the alternative can be even more devastating for you and your family, especially […]

Three Reasons Women Blame the Other Woman

When an affair has occurred, who is to blame?  The responsibility most often should be allocated to the betrayer of the relationship – the husband.  This is not to say the “other woman” does not have responsibility, especially if she knew he was married.  However,it’s understandable that the other woman becomes the target for a lot of the anger and rage people feel.  It makes sense to most people that the other woman is responsible for much of the misery brought on as a result of an affair.  It is tempting to believe that if it were not for the other woman, the affair would not have occurred.  However, that’s not necessarily true.  It’s more likely that it just means there would have been a “different” woman.

What are the main reasons that women blame the other woman?  There are three main reasons that I have seen women blame the other woman.  They are listed below:

  1. There is a false belief that if it were not for the “other woman” the affair would not have occurred.
  2. In the mind of the betrayed person, it is less painful if she believes someone else did this to her family rather than her husband made a choice to betray her.
  3. In some cases, the couple bonds by blaming the other person. When a woman is in shock after finding out about her husband’s affair, often times it is easier to hate “the woman” especially if the “other woman” knew the man was married to someone else.