By: Allison Petro, LMHC

There’s a reason why they’re called “Ice Queens”.

Women aren’t the only ones in need of dating advice due to having an emotionally detached partner. Men may also fall into the hole of getting together with women who are not available, emotionally.

Dating emotionally unavailable women can be exhausting and may even leave you feeling like a crazy person.

Being emotionally unavailable means they are evasive and make excuses to avoid talking about feelings in the relationship.

But, don’t beat yourself up too much if you find yourself dating these “Ice Queens”. There is so much you can learn about love, relationships, and yourself.

Here are a few things you can learn from dating emotionally unavailable women:

#1 It’s Better To Be Single Than With The Wrong Woman

Many have said that it is better to be single than with the wrong person.  Do you agree?

Being with the wrong person can make your life miserable and this is especially true if you are dating a woman who is emotionally unavailable.  Many men describe feeling lonely, misunderstood, and insecure when dating an “Ice Queen.”

They experience a sense of relief once the relationship has ended and the initial pain of the break-up has subsided.  They discover that being single is better than experiencing the negative feelings evoked by an “Ice Queen.”

#2 You Can’t Change Her

Don’t be fooled into thinking you can change your emotionally unavailable girlfriend. Many people enter relationships either consciously or subconsciously thinking they can change the person they are dating.  

Well, this is simply silly and foolish thinking! I know, we’ve all been there, but if you find yourself thinking that you’ll turn your “Ice Queen” into a warm and loving princess, think again.  

It’s possible that your emotionally unavailable girlfriend could work on herself, seek talk therapy, self-reflect and make changes, but this will take time. Also, there is no guarantee that she will follow through and make permanent life changes.     

#3 You Will Not Feel Like Yourself When Dating Emotionally Unavailable Women

Dating an “Ice Queen” often leaves a man feeling unsure, anxious, and confused.  Women who are emotionally unavailable tend to evoke these negative emotions because they build a wall around their heart and throw away the key.  

“Ice Queens” have their reasons for doing this such as past hurts in relationships, childhood trauma or abuse, fears, etc., but it is not your job to save her.   

The moral of the story after dating these unavailable women is to stay away! Not only does your relationship ends up getting crushed but so does your well being. Feeling isolated, anxious, and continuously hurt is not worth it.

If you find yourself repeatedly in these types of relationship even after you learned the above lessons, then it is time to look within. Often times, people have patterns of unhealthy relationship because of deeper roots and it might be necessary to seek additional support or help to truly be healthy and happy.

Give Allison Petro at Life Counseling Solutions a call at 407-622-1770 to schedule an appointment.  She also offers free 15-minute phone consultations to answer any questions you may have about the psychotherapy process.

Allison Petro is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor specializing in couples, women’s issues, treating depression holistically, and children. For more information about the author visit her full bio here.