By: Allison Petro, LMHC
Are you dating a girl who feels as “Cold as Ice”? Or maybe you always find yourself thinking that the women you choose to date are cold one minute and hot the next. You are left feeling utterly confused. You might be wondering if you are dating what I call an Ice Queen.
Here are 4 signs you are dating emotionally unavailable women:
#1 The Relationship Always Revolves Around Her
Do you find that the women you date are inflexible and refuse to compromise? Maybe you find yourself always changing your schedule to accommodate her routine or what she wants to do. Often people who are afraid to commit to a relationship will not go out of their way for their partner, leaving their partner feeling resentful. Simply put, if it’s always about her, this is a sign that you could be dating a woman who is emotionally unavailable.
#2 You Do Not Feel Known by Her
One of the most beautiful things you can find in a relationship is to be fully known and accepted by someone. However, you might find that you know everything about your girlfriend like her favorite hang-out spots, dreams for her future, her favorite memories from childhood and even her celebrity crush yet she seems to know very little about you. Maybe you feel that you are always the one running the extra mile to make the relationship work. Mile after mile adds up, and it will start to get exhausting! She may expect you to be there at the drop of a hat, but unavailable when you need her most.
#3 She is Very Casual About Relationships
Do you find that the women you date are just super casual about the relationship? She may disappear for days at a time, and she finds nothing wrong with this. In addition, she will often not commit to going out on dates when you ask her. She seems to always be leaving her options open. Also, she is very casual about sex. If this is the case, she is either not into you or she is commitment phobic.
#4 She Enjoys the Guilt Trip
Do you find that you are always the one apologizing even when it’s not your fault? Are you always feeling guilty in your relationship and can’t make sense as to why? If so, your girlfriend is taking you on the guilt trip ride. If she seems to always find flaw after flaw in you, and you are the one consistently asking for forgiveness, she could be emotionally unavailable and keeping you at a distance. Someone who cannot accept blame or admit when they are wrong is going to make any argument or issue about the other person, and it’s never their fault.
If you have discovered that you seem to date Ice Queen after Ice Queen, it might be time to chat with someone about why this is and make changes to correct it. It could be that one of your parents was emotionally unavailable and this is what feels comfortable for you. Maybe you are self-sabotaging because you don’t believe you deserve a healthy relationship or love. Whatever it may be, Life Counseling Solutions is a phone call away and we can help you get to the root of the problem.
If you are looking more assistance and want healthier dating relationships then call Life Counseling Solutions today at 407-622-1770. We offer complimentary 15-minute phone consults upon request. Or, you can book your first appointment here.
Allison Petro is Licensed Mental Health Counselor specializing in couples, women’s issues, depression, and children. For more information about the author visit her full bio here.