By: Allison Petro, LMHC
Do you constantly wind up dating women who aren’t just a little chilly, but rarely show up for you when you need them? If so, then you might be stuck in a pattern of forming toxic relationships with emotionally unavailable women. And the best dating advice for dealing with someone who’s emotionally unavailable?
Find someone else who can be there for you both in a physical and emotional sense.
Does the girl you’re dating feel as “cold as ice?” Or maybe you always find yourself thinking that the women you choose to date are cold one minute and hot the next.
These emotionally unavailable women can leave you feeling utterly confused and wondering if you are dating an “ice queen.”
Here are 4 signs you are dating emotionally unavailable women:
#1 The Relationship Always Revolves Around Her
Do you find that the women you date are inflexible and refuse to compromise? Maybe you find yourself always changing your schedule to accommodate her routine or what she wants to do. Often, people who are afraid to commit to a relationship will not go out of their way for their partner, leaving their partner feeling resentful.
Simply put, if it’s always about her, this is a sign that you could be in a toxic relationship and dating a woman who is emotionally unavailable
#2 You Do Not Feel Known by Her
One of the most beautiful things you can find in a relationship is to be fully known and accepted by someone. However, you might find that you know everything about your girlfriend — like her favorite hang-out spots, dreams for her future, her favorite memories from childhood and even her celebrity crush — yet, she seems to know very little about you.
Maybe you feel that you are always the one running the extra mile to make the relationship work. Mile after mile adds up, and it will start to get exhausting! She may expect you to be there at the drop of a hat, but is emotionally unavailable when you need her most
#3 She is Very Casual About Relationships
Do you find that the women you date are just super casual about the relationship? She may disappear for days at a time and finds nothing wrong with this. In addition, she will often not commit to going out on dates when you ask her. She seems to always be leaving her options open.
Also, she is very casual about sex. If this is the case, she is either not into you, or she is commitment phobic.
#4 She Enjoys the Guilt Trip
Do you find yourself always apologizing even when it’s not your fault? Constantly feeling guilty in your relationship, but can’t make sense as to why? Sounds like your girlfriend is taking you on the guilt trip ride, which is par for the course with emotionally unavailable women who are only capable of having toxic relationships.
If she seems to always find flaw after flaw in you, and you are the one consistently asking for forgiveness, she could be emotionally unavailable and keeping you at a distance. Someone who cannot accept blame or admit when they are wrong is going to make any argument or issue about the other person, and it’s never their fault.
After reading these four signs, you realize it’s the story of your romantic life and you have been falling for emotionally unavailable women for quite some time. At this point, it might be time to take a look at yourself and really question what’s leading you to choose these types of women.
It could be that one of your parents was emotionally unavailable and distacne feels comfortable. Maybe you self-sabotage and attract toxic relationships because you don’t believe you deserve a healthy relationship or love.
Whatever it may be, change is possible and you already took the first step by recognizing these dating patterns. Take the next move forward and work with an expert to make a permanent change to having a longer lasting relationship, because having a loving and healthy relationship with mutual investment is worth the time.
If you are looking more assistance and want healthier dating relationships then call Life Counseling Solutions today at 407-622-1770. We offer complimentary 15-minute phone consults upon request. Or, you can book your first appointment here.
Allison Petro is Licensed Mental Health Counselor specializing in couples, women’s issues, depression, and children. For more information about the author visit her full bio here.