An Open Letter to My (Adult) BFF…on Valentine’s Day

February 14th is usually reserved for valentines such as lovers, spouses and significant others; but there is another relationship that should be recognized on this day of love: your best friend.

As an adult, your best friendship looks very different from when you were in high school, but it is just as, if not more, important to have this kind of love in your life. So, whether you are single, dating, married or widowed, take time this Valentine’s Day to remember one of your truest loves.


group of friends on beautiful beach at sunset going back to home

Dear Best Friend,

Today, and everyday, I want to thank you. Friendship has changed from when we were fifteen, but I value you now more than I ever have and I don’t think life would be the same without you. Here are a few of the many reasons why you are my BFF.

We no longer have sleepovers; but we cherish the hours we do have together. Back in High School, we could stay up all hours of the night eating, talking, laughing and being silly. Now, we are too tired for all that.

Whether it’s due to kids, work, or just life in general, anything past midnight is difficult; but the dinner dates, wine nights, or random hang outs that last just a few hours seem to be more precious.

The conversations are deeper and more meaningful. The advice is wiser and the life experience is more valid. So maybe we don’t spend a solid 24 hours together, but the 2-4 hours hold much more weight.

We no longer obsess about drama; but we now obsess about each other’s successes. Back in the day, we were there to comfort each other through heartbreak, mean girls, and other drama that being young brings.

Although we will always be there for the hard times, adulthood brings exciting changes like job promotions, marriage, babies, and buying a home. And you will always be the first person I call to share that exciting news.

We no longer talk every night on the phone/by texting/on Instant Messenger, but we know no matter how long we go without talking that our friendship will remain strong. As a teenager, it felt like a friendship was contingent on how often you spoke or hung out. As adults, we have confidence that our friendship is solid.

Maybe it is because of all the things that we went through as pre-teens and teenagers, but I am thankful that you are not needy and that you understand that life is hectic. And also, that you know my hectic life does not mean that you don’t have room in it.

Although friendship is different now, I wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s mature, but still fun. I still laugh with you until I cry, I can still be myself in the good and bad times, and I still know that you are there no matter what.

I love that we have memories from being kids, but I value more the future this friendship holds. Happy Valentine’s Day BFF!