Betrayal

Three Reasons Women Blame the Other Woman

When an affair has occurred, who is to blame?  The responsibility most often should be allocated to the betrayer of the relationship – the husband.  This is not to say the “other woman” does not have responsibility, especially if she knew he was married.  However,it’s understandable that the other woman becomes the target for a lot of the anger and rage people feel.  It makes sense to most people that the other woman is responsible for much of the misery brought on as a result of an affair.  It is tempting to believe that if it were not for the other woman, the affair would not have occurred.  However, that’s not necessarily true.  It’s more likely that it just means there would have been a “different” woman. What are the main reasons that women blame the other woman?  

Here are three main reasons that I have seen women blame the other woman.  

  1. There is a false belief that if it were not for the “other woman” the affair would not have occurred.
  2. In the mind of the betrayed person, it is less painful if she believes someone else did this to her family rather than her husband made a choice to betray her.
  3. In some cases, the couple bonds by blaming the other person. When a woman is in shock after finding out about her husband’s affair, often times it is easier to hate “the woman” especially if the “other woman” knew the man […]

Three Ways To Thrive After Childhood Sexual Abuse


What comes to mind when you think of that deep dark secret that you wish would just disappear?  If you were a victim of childhood sexual abuse, you are probably thinking of the abuse.

The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that one out of every three women and one out of every six men have been sexually violated. America is home to an estimated 39 million survivors.

Many people’s lives are shattered in many different areas as a result of childhood sexual abuse. Most survivor’s injury is obvious, however, what about the relational damage that can carry through adulthood. Whether it was a one-time violation or a long – term trauma, the effects impact their relationships.  Below are three tips that can start you toward the healing journey in your life if you were a victim of childhood sexual abuse.

1) Be Silent No More – Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse have great fears and anxiety about building close friendships.  Healthy bonds with other people are what get us to a deeper level of healing.  Most survivors struggle with thoughts of feeling damaged, dirty, alone, and afraid […]

Facebook: Three Ways To Prevent Divorce


Did you read the recent headlines that Facebook is to blame for 1 in 5 divorces in the United States?  According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) 81 percent of the country’s top divorce lawyers all agree that there has been a significant increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years!  They have also stated that Facebook is the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66 percent stating it is the primary source!

What can you do to prevent Facebook from being a reason for your relationship difficulties?  Below are three ways that you can prevent Facebook from being the center of a relationship breakup!

1) Avoid the Danger Zone! You want to decide who can potentially be a danger to your current relationship. Most people do not plan to have an affair unless they intentionally are on the hunt to do so, otherwise, it is important to realize that most inappropriate relationships start with innocent conversations or getting updated on what each other has been doing over the years! If your partner has an issue with a certain friend, be proactive and just delete them from your friend list! Is it really worth the fight and distance in your real life relationship?

2) Don’t air your relationship dirty laundry! […]

Battling Sex Addiction

In a culture obsessed with sex, it might seem surprising that we don’t hear more about sex addiction. However, there is plenty of information for people addicted to alcohol, drugs and gambling. In a culture where sex, like alcohol, is socially acceptable and encouraged, and sexual images and provocation abound, it becomes more challenging to distinguish between normal sexuality and excessive, or abnormal, sexual behavior. However we are becoming better able to understand and treat this sexual disorder.

Sexual Addiction: What is it?

The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” In other words, a sex addict will continue to engage in certain sexual behaviors despite facing potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest.


Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:

Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands

5 Reasons Adult Websites Can Ruin Your Relationship

There are many dangers to viewing adult websites; it can damage your most important relationship. In the highly publicized divorce case between Christy Brinkley and her now ex-husband Peter Cook, it was revealed that he spent thousands of dollars on adult websites among his extra-marital expenses. In the new movie, “Fire Proof”, the main actor struggles with adult websites. David Duchovny, X-Files TV show main actor, recently admitted to checking himself into an in-patient treatment facility for sexual addictions. The Internet has enabled more people to access pornography in the privacy of their home. Along with that fact, is the realization that it is destroying more committed relationships than ever.
1) IT WILL LOWER YOUR COMMITMENT TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
In the book, Back From Betrayal, author Jennifer P. Schneider, M.D., asserts that for some dissatisfied people, fantasizing about affairs is the first step to a real affair. She suggests that the fantasizing process occupies such a large part of a person’s inner world that little energy is left for the marital relationship.
2) IT WILL LOWER YOUR INTEREST IN YOUR SPOUSE.
Repeated exposure to adult websites results in a decreased satisfaction with one’s sexual partner, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness and a major increase in the importance of sex without attachment.
3) IT PROVOKES POWERFUL EMOTIONS TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE.

5 Tips: Talking To Your Kids About Infidelity


Tiger Woods recent confession and discussion about his treatment has drawn attention to the effects of infidelity on the entire family.  Unfortunately, Tiger is not alone, couples every year are faced with how to talk to their kids about infidelity.  How much do you tell them?  How should the hurt parent express their feelings about the indiscretions?  Should the kids be told at all?

It is one of the most difficult things to endure when you find out that your spouse has been unfaithful.  If you’re the one that has cheated, you probably realize the amount of pain that has been inflicted on your spouse.  What you may not comprehend is the pain that your child can feel because of infidelity.  This is a crucial time for your children.  It will either be an opportunity to open the doors for healing or create an even more hurtful situation depending on how it is handled.

The following are five tips to keep in mind when having that family meeting to tell the kids what has happened:

1. You want to keep in mind that your kid’s belief of who their parent was can be shattered when they find out about the betrayal.  Therefore, keep away from emotional, hurtful conversations that paint the betrayer as a bad person in front of the kids.

2. It […]