Different Schedules, snoring, restless leg syndrome or the kids? More and more couples are saying good night before going their separate ways to different bedrooms!  Is this new trend healthy for couples?  When couples make a decision to sleep in separate bedrooms, they most likely did not come to that choice lightly.  However, if couples are not being intentional about keeping their relationship alive, there can be some hazards to the relationship as a result of sleeping separately.

Below are three dangers in couples that sleep apart:

1)   Disconnection: Sleeping apart can contribute to distance in the relationship.  It can become easier to avoid each other in situations where connection and physical contact can benefit in bringing and keeping the couple closer together.

2)   Less Intimacy: Bedtime isn’t just for sleeping! This can be a time of cuddling or closeness that can lead to a time of physical intimacy for the couple.  If you are sleeping apart, sex will have to be intentional and perhaps scheduled to make sure this part of the relationship does not get neglected.

3)   Communication: When the day comes to an end, this is a great time for couples to turn work and other responsibilities off and have uninterrupted time to connect and check-in with each other.  This does not have to be a long drawn out conversation before bed, but rather a quality time to connect (try to keep it under 20 minutes nightly).

When individuals are rested, they are more likely to be focused and less moody with those around them.  Therefore, if you are sleeping apart due to medical reasons, different work schedules, etc. if the problems cannot be fixed, then it is imperative that you are intentional about staying connected emotionally and physically.  Otherwise, you can find yourself living like roommates!