What You Can You Learn From Dating Emotionally Unavailable Women

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What You Can You Learn From Dating Emotionally Unavailable Women

By: Allison Petro, LMHC

Dating emotionally unavailable women can be exhausting and may even leave you feeling like a crazy person.  However, don’t beat yourself up too much if you find yourself dating who I have referred to in past articles as an “Ice Queen.”  Much can be gleaned from dating an “Ice Queen.”

Here are a few things you can learn from dating emotionally unavailable women:

#1 It’s Better To Be Single Than With The Wrong Woman

Many have said that it is better to be single than with the wrong person.  Do you agree?

Being with the wrong person can make your life miserable and this is especially true if you are dating a woman who is emotionally unavailable.  Many men describe feeling lonely, misunderstood, and insecure when dating an “Ice Queen.”

They experience a sense of relief once the relationship has ended and the initial pain of the break-up has subsided.  They discover that being single is better than experiencing the negative feelings evoked by an “Ice Queen.”

#2 You Can’t Change Her

Don’t be fooled into thinking you can change your emotionally unavailable girlfriend. Many people enter relationships either consciously or subconsciously thinking they can change the person they are dating.  

Well, this is simply silly and foolish thinking! I know, we’ve all been there, but if you find yourself thinking that you’ll turn your “Ice Queen” into a warm and loving princess, think again.  It’s possible that your emotionally unavailable girlfriend could work on herself, seek talk therapy, self-reflect and make changes, but this will take time. Also, there is no guarantee that she will follow through and make permanent life changes.     

#3 You Will Not Feel Like Yourself When Dating Emotionally Unavailable Women

Dating an “Ice Queen” often leaves a man feeling unsure, anxious, and confused.  Women who are emotionally unavailable tend to evoke these negative emotions because they build a wall around their heart and throw away the key.  “Ice Queens” have their reasons for doing this such as past hurts in relationships, childhood trauma or abuse, fears, etc., but it is not your job to save her.   

You are not alone if you find yourself dating an emotionally unavailable woman.  To summarize, one can learn a great deal from dating an “Ice Queen.”  You can realize it’s better to be single than with the wrong woman, understand that you can’t change your girlfriend, and accept that you will not feel like yourself if you are in this type of relationship.

If you find yourself in an unsatisfying relationship with an emotionally unavailable woman and need help navigating the icy waters, give Allison Petro at Life Counseling Solutions a call at 407-622-1770 to schedule an appointment.  She also offers free 15-minute phone consultations to answer any questions you may have about the psychotherapy process.

Allison Petro is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor specializing in couples, women’s issues, treating depression holistically, and children. For more information about the author visit her full bio here.

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