Are you often asked…WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? Or WHEN ARE YOU HAVING BABIES?

When we are between the ages of 25 -35 we are often asked by friends, family, co-workers, and our church family “When are you going to get married?” Once we get married, we are asked by the same group of people, “When are you going to have children?”

So imagine if you are between the ages of  35-45 and neither has happened: no marriage, no babies. Oh gosh, you are made to feel like you have somehow failed at life.

The expectation from our friends, family, co-workers, and our church family or society in general is for us to get married, have babies, and to explain ourselves if we don’t have either or if we have one or the other. It’s like an unspoken expectation of perfectionism.

If you think about it, the loaded questions of “When are you getting married?” and “When are you having babies?” is incredibly personal, somewhat hurtful depending on your specific situation, and can be offensive. Lastly, it can make you feel unworthy, ashamed, and guilty.

The next time you are asked these two personal questions, answer them with an answer that validates your choices. For example, you can say, “I have a lot of responsibilities that keep me busy. When the time comes it will happen.”

If you need help gaining the self-confidence to handle these questions and others, call Life Counseling Solutions today at 407.622.1770.

Author: Cherlette McCullough