By: Collen Andre, LMHC
You feel devastated, empty, and ashamed. You are yet again alone and obliterated by another relationship. It is already difficult to rebuild after a relationship but what makes it worse is rebuilding from a destructive and unhealthy relationship. But, it is possible to protect yourself from unsafe partners. Here are four warning signs of a potentially toxic relationship.
Too much checking in:
If you are receiving multiple or successive text messages/phone calls then sound the alarm! The messages could end with emojis or caring remarks but the content is focused on where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing. You want to ask yourself “why are they checking in so much?” If there is not a primary concern, such as a sickness or being emotionally upset, there is cause for suspension. The partner could be insecure and it may show signs of controlling or stalking behaviors.
“What type of friends am I losing?” and “Why am I losing friends?” You should feel concerned if you are losing friends too quickly or losing close/long-term relationships. Often times, abusive or unhealthy partners want to isolate their victims. When family or friends are out of reach then who is available for comfort? You are trapped with only your partner for emotional support.
Pressure to share things you are not ready for:
Deep and personal questions sought out in early stages of a relationship is cause for suspicion, especially if there is pressure. Pressure to share things can turn into pressure to do things you are not comfortable doing.
Feeling anxious or nervous when your partner is upset:
What does that say about your relationship or partner if you feel anxious or nervous when they are upset? This may be an indicator of their emotional instability and anger outbursts. Outbursts begin with yelling then escalating to throwing/destroying things, to punching, etc. Or, you feel anxious or nervous because your partner may hurt themselves. If they are threatening to hurt themselves there can be an immense amount of burden or guilt you experience to help them. A stress inducing relationship is not a healthy one.
If any of these signs occur, especially if multiple signs are occurring at once, take the life-saving step to remove yourself from the relationship. It is important to note these warnings early on rather than ignoring and rationalizing your partner’s behavior. It is much easier to leave when there has been less investment in time and emotions.
If you are noticing a pattern of toxic partners, you may want to ask yourself: what about these people attracts you to them? Seek out help through counseling services to end the cycle. Call Life Counseling Solutions at 407.622.1770 to set up an appointment or a complimentary 15-minute consultation with me. Or, make your first appointment online by clicking here. It is possible to have happy and healthy intimate relationships.
About Colleen: Colleen values the importance of a comfortable and non-judgmental atmosphere. At the heart of her work, she seeks to create a safe environment in which clients can feel at ease while working through life’s difficulties. Her specialty is working with women and adolescents struggling with anger management, trauma, and anxiety. She also enjoys assisting those facing multicultural or racial issues. Ultimately, her goal is to help clients uncover the source of their distress so that they can begin to heal.See Colleen’s full bio.