How to Control the Uncontrollable: Taming Anger

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How to Control the Uncontrollable: Taming Anger

By: Colleen Andre, LMHC

Often times we paint anger as an evil and demonic thing that seems uncontrollable. But, what is anger? It is an emotion just like sadness, disgust, joy, and fear. Every emotion is essential to a person in order to function properly. Anger is just another emotion. It is an emotion notifying us that something is wrong. Anger is only dangerous when we let it overwhelm us.

Most people do not have a positive association when they think of anger because of their personal experiences. Often times you witness unhealthy expressions of anger or you experience/enact anger outburst on others. The key to healthy expressions is to not let your anger reach its boiling point.

Here are 3 tips to reducing anger outbursts.

#1 Be Aware

Notice what your signs are when your anger is escalating. Take some time to write down a list of physical and mental symptoms of your anger such as pacing, shaking hands, negative thoughts about a person or self.  It is very difficult to implement de-escalation skills when you already reached your max point. Therefore, it is important to know what your warning symptoms to implement these skills.

#2 Timeout

When you are involved in a heated dispute and start noticing yourself becoming increasingly agitated, it is important to call a time out. Ask the individual for a break or time apart to cool down, maybe even setting a time limit for yourself. When your emotions are high logical thinking goes right out the window and that is when you lose control!

#3 Distract yourself

Engage in an activity that will take an immense amount of concentration and focus when your temper is fuming. It is more important to de-escalate yourself rather than increase your rage. When you calm down to a neutral state, that is when you can make wiser decisions. Sitting and thinking about the same issue over and over again can just add fuel to the fire, which can lead you to explode on the wrong person.

Healthy expressions of anger can come about when you learn to steady it. It is important to take control rather than let anger control you. Sometimes it is incredibly difficult to even begin taking control because of years and years of unhealthy patterns. Guilt, shame, and isolation can be some of the consequences that follow anger outbursts.

It is important to seek out help especially if you are finding yourself having a hard time implementing these 3 tips. Call Life Counseling Solutions for a free 15-minute phone consultation at 407-622-1770. Or, take the first step to manage your anger by make an appointment today for counseling just click here. 

For more tips and blog posts on anger check out “Tamar Braxton and Domestic Violence- When Anger is out of Control“.

Colleen headshotAbout Colleen: Colleen values the importance of a comfortable and non-judgmental atmosphere. At the heart of her work, she seeks to create a safe environment in which clients can feel at ease while working through life’s difficulties. Her specialty is working with women and adolescents struggling with anger management, trauma, and anxiety. She also enjoys assisting those facing multicultural or racial issues. Ultimately, her goal is to help clients uncover the source of their distress so that they can begin to heal. See Colleen’s full bio.

Or, connect with her on Facebook or Instagram for more tips, encouragement, and posts.

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