“Meg” is a 19 year old, beautiful, young woman. She is driven, funny, engaging, and kind. She has many qualities that guys would look for in a significant other and even, one day, a wife.

But Meg’s boyfriend is not looking for a wife. He’s barely looking for a girlfriend. He doesn’t have a job, is still smoking marijuana and drinking almost daily and has dropped out of college.

Worse than all of this, he never takes Meg on dates, doesn’t romance her in any way, and doesn’t speak her love language.  Meg describes her beau as fun, and adventurous, but wonders if she can change the (many) behaviors that make him less than the ideal boyfriend.

Unfortunately, “Meg” is a real woman…in fact, “Meg” is many women that constantly choose to settle in their relationships.

When did we, as women, lower our expectations of men? When was it ok to be dating without ever going on a date? When did our self-esteems become so low that we forgot how valuable and worthy we are of having someone who adores us?

1. Wanting a man that pursues you does not make you weak, it makes you desirable. Men like the chase. When you’re easy, guys get bored and stop trying. And when they stop, so does the excitement of the relationship.
2.  You cannot change anyone except you. You are not the guy you are wanting to change and you are not God; therefore, you cannot change anyone. If you go into a relationship looking to tweak some things, take a look at yourself first.
3. Having a guy treat you like you’re the most amazing thing on the planet does not make you dependent. In fact, a healthy guy will celebrate your independence and compliment it in his own ways.

So, challenge yourself: make a list of the things that are important to you in a significant other. On that list, star the three or four non-negotiables (religious affiliate, family oriented, etc) and then hold yourself accountable to that and don’t settle!

Remind yourself that you are amazing and deserve someone amazing! Be wooed, be pursued and be you! The perfect guy will love you for who you are and treat you accordingly.

Are you noticing patterns of being in terrible relationships? You seem to be dating the same loser over and over again? Maybe it’s time to seek some professional help and figure out how to break this awful cycle. Call Life Counseling Solutions today at 407-622-1770 to work with our relationship and self-esteem experts. 

Author: DeAnn Maccloskey