By: Colleen Andre, LMHC
In August of 2016, Tamar Braxton was involved in a domestic dispute escalating to the point where police were involved. There is belief that the dispute led to a physical altercation, which some speculate was not a one-time incident. This is not the first occurrence where a celebrity makes news for domestic violence. We all remember the shocking footage of Baltimore Raven’s running back Ray Rice in 2014.
Often times we focus on the victim and not enough on the one enacting the aggression. In addition, problems with out of control anger is not just a male dominated issue. According to the intimate partner violence under the Center for Disease Control, “1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men 18 an older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their life.” There are more occurrences of male aggressors, but women are not far behind with 1 in 7 men as victims of intimate partner violence.
Most people do not wake up desiring to hurt the ones they love. Therefore, it is important to understand the progression and notice the warning signs of out of control anger.
Here are six signs when your anger is out of control:
1. Increased arguments– You are involved in more and more arguments with those around you. Heated disputes occur wit
2. Loss of control– Feelings of rage are all consuming and it is difficult or impossible to calm oneself down during the emotionally heated moment.
3. Elevated verbal aggression– Arguments are no longer disagreements but are shouting or cursing matches. Your intention is no longer to prove a point, but to belittle or hurt the individual.
4. Anger is expressed through physical destruction– Frustration and rage are expressed through destroying property such as punching, breaking, or throwing objects.
5. Physical destruction turns into physical aggression– You start to direct your aggression towards people instead of objects. You might start with shoving or slapping the individual to finally assaulting.
6. Foggy memory– Once the state of rage has passed, you are unaware of the destruction made during the dispute. You cannot clearly recall the verbally aggressive remarks or actions taken on the other individual.
It is very common for those demonstrating these signs to feel extremely guilty after the damage has been done. The feelings of guilt can lead to despair and depression. If you are experiencing any of these signs it is important to seek out help. Anger in itself is not evil, but how people demonstrate their anger can be harmful. Therefore, it is important to learn healthy ways to cope and express anger. No one ever imagines hurting the ones they love most, but unchecked anger can lead to permanent damage to those closest to you. Out of control anger not only results in loss of those around you, but also a loss of who you are too.
If you are seeking assistance, take the opportunity to call me for a free phone consultation or make an appointment today for counseling, 407-622-1770. Or, join us in our monthly 8-hour anger management workshop for practical tips in controlling the rage within. Click here to register or to find out more.
About Colleen: Colleen values the importance of a comfortable and non-judgmental atmosphere. At the heart of her work, she seeks to create a safe environment in which clients can feel at ease while working through life’s difficulties. Her specialty is working with women and adolescents struggling with anger management, trauma, and anxiety. She also enjoys assisting those facing multicultural or racial issues. Ultimately, her goal is to help clients uncover the source of their distress so that they can begin to heal.See Colleen’s full bio.