Womens’ Wellness

The X Factor: 5 Signs You Are NOT Over Your Ex | Breakups

 

window waiting

“I’m so over him! I don’t care anymore!”

How many times have you said this but shortly thereafter you were wishing you were back together?  Have you ever felt so certain that this time you were going to move on, only to then have the “what if” thoughts flood your brain?  You are not alone!  Did you know that 9 out of 10 people reading this have been on this roller coaster ride?  The thing is …we don’t really like this ride; it’s very difficult to handle.  Some might find themselves daydreaming about their ex or reliving the good times even months or years after the relationship has ended.  They may really want to think that they’re over their ex but subconsciously might be harboring romantic feelings, which can keep them from finding healthy love in which both parties are mutually invested.

Here are some signs that you might still be holding on to the past:

Sign #1: You are still hoping to “bump” into him. 

If you are still going to the same hang out spots, hoping to run into him with your new sexy outfit on, you are not over your ex!  Sure you know his schedule, it involved you, but it doesn’t anymore. That can be a hard realization but until that sinks in, you may find yourself not taking the necessary steps to keep it moving.

Sign #2: You want him to see you happy

girls night out 8If you are posting a usual amount of “party girl” pictures on your social media sites, just so he can see you that you are perfectly fine without […]

3 Ways to Help a New Mom Cope…..Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

I remember coming home from the hospital with a new baby and feeling the fear, excitement and overwhelming stress of it all. Taking care of the baby, laundry, meals, and even taking a shower was like trying to juggle with my hands tied behind my back. For a new mom when trying to juggle household tasks, the most common emotions can be feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. You can’t accomplish as much as you would like to and the baby pulls you in so many different directions during the day. Trying to get it all done can just be too much! This is a huge adjustment for a mom. It is common to have feelings of happiness, to feel energized, excited but also fatigued, overwhelmed, irritable, problems sleeping and feeling sad. You can feel happy and thrilled and then a moment later tired, anxious and helpless. So trying to juggle household tasks can seem like walking on a tight rope while carrying the baby on your hip. Being a new mom is a wonderful experience but also an emotional and physical adjustment for the mom, her husband/ partner and family.

3 Ways to help a new Mom Cope and Juggle it all!

1. Have A Plan.
Having a plan before the baby comes makes the adjustment easier.
Many of us have agonized over detailed birth plans but what about after the birth? A “Mommy Plan” is just as important. The place to begin is with your
spouse or partner. Before the birth of the baby outline tasks that will need to be completed to baby proof your relationship with […]

Kate, Duchess of Cambridge…Baby Love? Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

How do you define love?  Is it the pounding of the heart, sweating palms, passionate, or an instant connection?  Being in love and falling in love for some, describes the action of attachment and a long term commitment… the “You Complete Me”.  So how does this tie into the new little Royal Baby and Kate Duchess of Cambridge? Is it Baby Love at first sight?

Love and Hormones

Did you know that the hormones (primarily Oxytocin) that connected you to your husband/partner/ baby daddy are the same hormones that connect you to your baby?   The hormone Oxytocin that is released during interactions with our partner helps us bond and connect with our baby.  Voila Baby Love!  Just as we move beyond lust/passion and enter into a meaningful relationship with our partners, we must do the same with our babies.  An immediate connection may not occur the minute the doctor places your child in your arms.  Despite how the media, other women and our culture have glorified this experience; it is often not reality.  New moms are exhausted, anxious, often drugged, concerned about breastfeeding/milk supply and meeting the stranger they have carried for 9 months.  Loving your babe (like breastfeeding!) may take time, not all things occur as naturally as they are portrayed.  It’s alright and doesn’t have to be “Baby Love” at first sight.

Expectations of Baby Love

If we could change the expectations of “Baby Love” we might be able to help prevent anxiety, fear and a mother feeling she is not good enough.  We could then be realistic and honest about pregnancy and childbirth.  If we were to acknowledge “Baby Love” is not […]

Perimenopause Symptoms: 5 Things You Should Do….Orlando Perimenopausal Counseling

Perimenopause can occur for several years and  up to 10 years prior to menopause.  My aunt use to call it “Mental Pause”…her way of joking about the mental, emotional and physical changes during this time in a women’s life.  It can be  challenging and an unknown for many women.

The perimenopausal emotional and hormonal connection can often be overlooked. Oprah Winfrey was one of the  first pioneer women in media to openly discuss her own experience with perimenopause symptoms. Did you know… you can experience anxiety, increased heart rate, possible panic attacks and a roller coaster of emotions, even rage?  The Mayo clinic states, “some women may even experience perimenopause in their 30’s.”  And for those of us women who waited later in life to have children and are still trying to forget the struggles of trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, lack of sleep, the transition to motherhood,working hard to maintain our careers and family; perimenopause  is a whole new fire we are trying to put out.

 Perimenopause Symptoms: 5  Things You Should Do

1. See your doctor. Rule out any other medical sources and then get information “is it” or” is it not” perimenopause? Symptoms can be gradual and you may not even know this is what’s happening to you. Many women don’t and suffer needlessly. If you experience increased heart rate, panic and unmanageable anxiety see your doctor right away, take it seriously as women are at risk for heart disease too. Your doctor will help you manage perimenopause through hormone testing, low dose birth control if needed, supplement recommendations such as calcium, vaginal lubricants and other options. If […]

By |July 1st, 2013|Adults, Anxiety, Articles, Counselors & Coaches, Couples, Depression, Maternal Wellness, Relationships, Womens' Wellness|Comments Off on Perimenopause Symptoms: 5 Things You Should Do….Orlando Perimenopausal Counseling

3 Realistic Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy

TV.  Not a day goes by that we don’t see pregnant Kim Kardashian sporting a designer outfit emphasizing her growing baby bump on covers of magazines or on entertainment (OK, I really hate the words “baby bump” but, hey it’s what they are calling these little miracles these days.)  Celebrity pregnancies are exciting and often portrayed as glamorous, as in the case of Princess Katherine, and we can’t help ourselves from following their every move for nine months.  After the baby is born, we become obsessed with pictures of their little one and following the celebrity’s journey to getting back to their pre-baby weight.

PregnancyWhat bothers me most about the publicity of celebrity pregnancies is the magazine headlines that often criticize these women for either gaining weight while pregnant, or, not losing the weight fast enough after the birth of their child. The opposite is also true when Supermodels who gave birth just six-weeks prior are modeling lingerie down a catwalk.  What kind of messages do these negative headlines and images send to pregnant women and new moms about added weight during and after pregnancy?  Unfortunately, those headlines and images are what sells product and makes money for celebrities and isn’t reality for us regular women.  Gaining weight during pregnancy IS reality and weight gain within proper limits for your personal body weight is normal and healthy for both you and your little miracle.

Avoid the negative headlines and airbrushed photos of celebrities post-baby and take control of your own healthy pregnancy by following these 3 tips from the USDA’s www.choosemyplate.gov website, along with your physician’s guidelines, that may help you select healthier food choices while […]

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women’s Counseling

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women's Counseling

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women’s Counseling

Every day, I talk to women in the grocery store, at my kids’ school, birthday parties, doctors offices and online. These women share their real stories of motherhood and struggles. They have courageously shed their capes and dropped their masks. They say, “I was suffering during pregnancy and after the birth of my baby.  I felt alone.” They had difficult pregnancies, births, trouble breastfeeding, anxiety, depression, bumpy relationships with their spouse or partner, adjusting to staying at home, working full-time and the fulfilling but, rocky road to motherhood.

These women are brave leaders; standing up and saying this road is difficult.  Motherhood is confusing and the role more complicated than ever before.  Mom’s and expectant mothers are supposed to be all things: homemaker extraordinaire, enthusiastic lover who wears nothing but Victoria Secret, provider who works full-time in the corporate world and “Super Mom.” Whether or not you agree with Sheryl Sandberg and her book “Lean In,” it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that women need to support one another; allowing us to be real and mother’s who can have it all.

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In!

  1. Who are we? Women are in danger of losing themselves as they fulfill their roles and care for all but themselves!  These expectations are unrealistic and can’t be reached. Why do we think we can reach them without real Super Hero Powers? There has not been another time in history where there were so many roles and expectations of women.  […]

3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Single | Singles Counseling & Therapy

girls night out 2I took nearly two hours to get ready for a fun night with my single girlfriends.  My Michael Kors outfit was fab, my makeup was spotless, and the compliments were overflowing from my girlfriends.  We were going to paint the town red, or at least that was the plan. But on that particular night I felt empty and more so than usual.  I was looking for acceptance, validation, and recognition, but not from my girlfriends. I was hoping that my Prince Charming would magically appear and whisk me away into the sunset. HE never showed up! My expectations weren’t much after all; I was only asking for a half decent looking guy with a pulse. Was that too much to ask for? Years later, I realized it was too little to ask for.

Hindsight is 20/20. I wish I had the self-love, self-worth, and self-confidence that I do today.  Why isn’t this a high school graduation requirement?  Why aren’t children taught the meaning of self-respect and self-love before they are taught Algebra I (which most won’t use anyway)?  The truth is I can’t go back in time and whisper to myself, “love yourself Joann, you are good enough.” I struggled and felt empty.  But what was I truly missing if love wasn’t the answer?girls night out 5

1. I was missing a positive inner voice.  I was too busy focusing on what others said, waiting for them to affirm what I should have already known.  I was good enough, worthy enough, and beautiful enough that night and every other night for that matter.  […]

Theme Park 101 for New Moms! Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

 

We all love theme parks, the excitement, characters, rides, the magic that thrills adults and children.  As a mom you want to take it all in and have an experience of a lifetime with your family. You and your partner/husband, baby and toddler in tow, may want to attack this foreign land with the determination of climbing Mount Everest. It can be challenging and feel like trying to reach the summit with a stroller, baby, toddler and significant other strapped to your back. The air may start to thin and you ask yourself, “What Was I Thinking?” Moms often are command central for vacations and planning. For a new mom/ mom with a new baby it can be overwhelming.

Yes, I was one of those moms! I flew with my 6 week old, toddler and husband to the Mecca of theme parks. It is an understatement to say that I was not prepared. Our trip began with a ride on the boat to take us across the magical waters to the Kingdom. Getting off the boat I did not anticipate the jockeying that was required when handling a stroller and competing with scooters for asphalt. Yep, I narrowly escaped a collision with a diehard theme park lover on a scooter. This was hard core!

The crowds were overwhelming; and the mommy/ baby area was at the front of the park, who knew? Time to feed baby: I couldn’t find anywhere to sit down. My husband was in a ride line with our toddler. I did what I could; I ducked behind my stroller, hunched on a curb, nursed my baby and prayed that […]

Baby Fever… 5 Ways to Talk to Your Man about the “Tick, Tock, Biological Clock.” Orlando Women’s Counseling

You now can check off your list, college, career and a long term relationship.  So what’s next?  A family? You agreed with your Mr. Right, “No baby”.  A baby makes things complicated; it’s hard to have a career and ties you down.  You have never felt the maternal pull.  You are a woman of a new age, different than your mother.  You have a career, work outside the home and you bring more to your relationship than an intellectual dowry.  No baby necessary.  But you feel a sudden tick tock, tick tock! You rapidly realize that you may have underestimated biology.  It’s cliché, I know! You have a high baby fever.

You discuss your feelings with your Prince charming and he tells you he isn’t ready to be a father that the economy is bad, he can’t afford it,  he’s too young or he’s too old, he’s been there done that, he will look like the kid’s grandfather, he doesn’t want to do it all over again. It will change his lifestyle and your sex life.  You won’t be able to spend as much time together, you can’t travel with him; the list goes on and on.  You are now at a biological count down and relationship stand- off! Your fertility has a best before expiration date. You know your life experiences and secondary education didn’t prepare you for this and the negotiations are on!

So you present and defend your best argument worthy of the Supreme Court, trying to convince your man to have a baby.  He won’t budge.  What to do?

  1. Give it time.  Layoff of the […]