Sexual Addictions

Christian Grey vs. Christian Husband | Orlando Relationship Therapy

Christian Grey vs. Christian Husband | Orlando Relationship Therapy

Well, it’s everywhere. Fifty Shades of Grey (The Movie) officially comes out this Friday, the day before Valentine’s Day, and everyone’s abuzz about seeing the steamy “love story” come to life. It seems like people are pretty divided about whether or not this is an erotic fairy tale or a story of abuse and power. The word “submission” is being thrown around a lot because of Christian Grey’s preference for BDSM; however, a healthy, Godly relationship also requires submission. But what is the difference between Christian Grey submission and Christian wife submission? Let’s take a look.

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The Bible says in Ephesians 5:22-24 and 1 Peter 3:7 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands.” God intended our marriages to look like His love for our church. The word submission can be taken of context; however, it is not meant for oppression, but to build a healthy, strong relationship.

A Christian Grey MANIPULATES, while a Christian husband EMPOWERS. Manipulation is used for selfish gain. A good husband empowers his wife for the gain of herself, her family and most importantly the will of God.

A Christian Grey INTIMIDATES, while a Christian husband ENCOURAGES. Christian Grey uses intimidation on a naive Ana to get what he wants out of her. A loving husband will encourage his wife to strive for better and go after her own dreams.

A Christian […]

5 Questions To Choose The Best Orlando Therapist

5 Ways To Choose The Best Orlando Therapist | Life Counseling Solutions 

Did you know that most consumers of therapy don’t take the time to learn about what they need to know about partnering with the best counselor or therapist who can help them be successful in meeting their therapeutic goals?

Firstly, YOU are the consumer so ask questions and “shop” around to find the best fit for you.  It is also best to highly consider referrals from family and friends who have had experience working with a particular counselor or therapist.

ORLANDOBESTTHERAPISTLife Counseling Solutions like many counseling centers offer a complimentary phone consultation or face-to -face meeting. You want to take advantage of this opportunity to briefly explain your problem(s) and ask the counselor or therapist to share how they would approach the problem. If possible, try to chat with at least three different counselors or therapists.   Here are a few questions that you can ask in that initial conversation:

  • How many couples or individuals with similar issues do you work with per week?
    • For example, the more couples that a couple’s therapist works with per week, the more experience she or he has working with couples. Therefore, if you are seeking counseling for your relationship, then you want a therapist who primarily works with couples.
  • Do you work with a couple together or in separate sessions?
    • Life Counseling Solutions believes that it is imperative to see couples together. The therapist can miss the dynamic of how the couple relates when they are seen separately. While there may be a good reason to have one or two individual sessions with each person in the relationship, this should be more the exception […]

7 Ways To Stay Sober When Traveling | Addiction | Life Counseling Solutions

Have you heard the old adage that “when the cat is away the mice will play?” When children are left unsupervised it doesn’t take long for them to find, or create, a little mischief. Who can blame them? Our brains quickly process the situation: no one’s around, this doesn’t happen too often, let’s take advantage of this opportunity and have some fun. As we grow out of childhood and even adolescence into young adulthood, not a lot changes in regards to “opportunistic situations.” For some men, and perhaps women as well, the struggle to not view pornography while at home or throughout the week in daily routine can be a real internal struggle. Now take that same individual and send them out-of-town to work and you have a potentially hazardous situation. Here are seven healthy tips that should help protect you when leaving the comforts of home for work in another city or country.global_professional-career-dining-etiquette-business-dinner-iStk

  • Everyone who struggles with pornography addiction or any other sexual compulsivity should have an accountability partner. If you don’t have one, get one! If you can’t find one, I’ll be yours until you can. Inform him or her of your work trip plans and increase the number of contacts over this period of time. This will help you to not take this trip in isolation, which can be a disaster if you’re in the hotel room all by yourself.
  • Try and book a hotel that doesn’t offer HBO type channels or offer pornographic videos. If you can’t find one simply request that the television be removed for the duration of your stay. Nothing is more important than your sobriety. Another option is to […]

Four Ways to Avoid Emotional Infidelity | Janie Lacy

Can someone cheat without ever having physical contact? According to recent reports covering the David Petraeus’s affair those close to him during his final tours of battle were not surprised at all. One of the reasons is that most affairs happen long before there is any physical connection, so just how do we avoid going down the path of infidelity?

 

  

1) End Personal Conversations

a. Emotional Infidelity is rarely planned. It often arises from innocent friendships that became too personal.

b. It is best to avoid emotional and personal conversation with the opposite sex. If you catch yourself discussing personal information or you realize someone is sharing personal information with you, change the subject gently or end the conversation.

2) Meet In Groups
a. Have business or planning meetings in groups of three or more. Even one extra person can minimize emotional intimate conversation from happening.

b. Don’t compromise this standard. Once others come to know this is your standard, they will respect it. The first time you let down your boundaries, it will make it easier to do in the future which can lead to compromising situations.

 
3) Avoid consistency with the same person
[…]

5 Effects of Pornography on Individuals, Marriage, and Family

Pornography, which is the depiction of graphic sexual acts, has tremendous effects on anyone that continuously engages in its viewing.  It distorts a person’s concept of the nature of sexual relations which in turn can alter his/her sexual attitudes and behavior.  Below are some of the effects pornography has on its viewers.

1) Effects on the Family

Married men (this can also apply to women) who regularly engage in pornography are more likely to be dissatisfied with their wives and can become detached emotionally from them.  Wives may not be aware that their husband is viewing Pornography but they do notice a difference in his attitude toward her.  His change can be due to the fact that Pornography viewing makes you numb to “normal” sexual relations.  The more you are exposed to, the more you want it.  It’s like a never ending vicious cycle.  It may not just be the wife that’s suffering, if children are present they will be affected by their father’s pornography viewing as well.  A consequence of pornography viewing can be a loss of interest in family relations.  That also means less time spent with children.  All the addict can think of is how to satisfy his cravings.  Another problem can arise if a child becomes exposed to the pornographic material or accidentally finds his/her father engaging in Pornography.  This can very much distort the child’s perception of his/her father and the child’s image of healthy sexuality in general.

2)  Effects on the Individual

One […]

5 Ways To Deal With Betrayal

One thing most people never dream of is their partner betraying them!  Yet, unfortunately, it seems to be the popular topic of conversations these days because of celebrities and their relationships.  Most recently in the spotlight, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, who have been married for 6 years now, might be separating due to Kutcher’s apparent unfaithfulness.  How do you handle unfaithfulness in your relationship?

  Let’s take a look at some tips that might be helpful to you.

1)  Allow Yourself To Grieve

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being upset about what happened.  It would be worse if you were to suppress your feelings and act like it didn’t bother you at all.  Take the time that you need to grieve.  It is ok to cry and let your feelings out.

2)  Seek Support

Talk to a close friend of yours, a close family member, or even seek out a counselor.  This gives you an opportunity to share your experience while being in a safe environment.  Talking to someone else will also enable you to look at the situation from a different perspective, hearing what your friend, family member or counselor has to say about your situation.

3)  Forgive

Women and Porn: Not Just a Guy Issue!

When most people in our culture think about pornography and who is accessing it online, their thoughts automatically go to the male population. Would it surprise you to know that women represent 30% of the internet pornography consumers (Internet Pornography Statistics, 2008; Nielsen//NetRatings, April 2005)?

It is time to stop with the “old school” thinking that it is just a “man” issue and take a look at not only the increased activity with women and pornography, but also the impact that it is having on them and their lives.Women have greater access to information, laws and resources that foster sexual health and expression, but we can’t be naïve not to acknowledge these advantages against other realities that women will face.Women today are introduced into a society with more sexually explicit messages that encourage risky and impulsive behaviors.

Here are just a few examples of the powerful influences she will be facing as she surfs the Internet:

  • Sexualized messages
  • Sex crimes
  • Online sexual predators
  • Internet dating services
  • Sexualized cyber bullying which will make her world more sexually distorting, daunting and aggressive than ever before in her early stages of her development

Women as Objects: What They View and It’s Impact

 So how is this happening and why are women becoming more and more consumed with Internet pornography? The sex industry and pornography are gaining greater acceptance and presence in our culture. What use to be culturally unacceptable has it become more of the norm? The […]

Three Reasons Women Blame the Other Woman

When an affair has occurred, who is to blame?  The responsibility most often should be allocated to the betrayer of the relationship – the husband.  This is not to say the “other woman” does not have responsibility, especially if she knew he was married.  However,it’s understandable that the other woman becomes the target for a lot of the anger and rage people feel.  It makes sense to most people that the other woman is responsible for much of the misery brought on as a result of an affair.  It is tempting to believe that if it were not for the other woman, the affair would not have occurred.  However, that’s not necessarily true.  It’s more likely that it just means there would have been a “different” woman.

What are the main reasons that women blame the other woman?  There are three main reasons that I have seen women blame the other woman.  They are listed below:

  1. There is a false belief that if it were not for the “other woman” the affair would not have occurred.
  2. In the mind of the betrayed person, it is less painful if she believes someone else did this to her family rather than her husband made a choice to betray her.
  3. In some cases, the couple bonds by blaming the other person. When a woman is in shock after finding out about her husband’s affair, often times it is easier to hate “the woman” especially if the “other woman” knew the man was married to someone else.

Pornography and Sex Trafficking

  • Pornography is used as a “tool” to train trafficked children and women so that they will “know” what to do in performing sex acts.
  • Often, the forced sexual acts between the prostituted woman/child and the John will be filmed and photographed and then shared elsewhere.
  • Studies show that pornography users often seek to act out what they have viewed in porn. Often their partners will not engage in such acts, so they seek it elsewhere – increasing the demand for trafficked women and children to be prostituted.
  • Pimps are operating more and more online as it becomes easier to connect with potential buyers and to remain anonymous. Popular websites like www.Craigslist.com and www.Facebook.com have become “virtual brothels” where one can quickly find prostituted women and children to engage in sex acts.
  • As addictions to pornography increase, users seek harder and harder material. There is a recent boom in the availability of “live” porn as trafficked children and women are forced to perform “on-demand” sex acts in front of web cameras as “Johns” or porn users watch.
  • Porn users do not and cannot distinguish between trafficked women, prostitutes, and porn stars. Pornography fuels the global sex trade by driving demand into the mainstream of society.

 

Battling Sex Addiction

What does Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City and the new ABC show Dirty Sexy Money all have in common? You guessed it – sex! We are inundated with so many explicit messages from Hollywood about sex.

In a culture obsessed with sex, it might seem surprising that we don’t hear more about sex addiction. However, there is plenty of information for people addicted to alcohol, drugs and gambling. In a culture where sex, like alcohol, is socially acceptable and encouraged, and sexual images and provocation abound, it becomes more challenging to distinguish between normal sexuality and excessive, or abnormal, sexual behavior. However we are becoming better able to understand and treat this sexual disorder.

Sexual Addiction – What is it?

The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” In other words, a sex addict will continue to engage in certain sexual behaviors despite facing potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest.