Parenting

Kate, Duchess of Cambridge…Baby Love? Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

How do you define love?  Is it the pounding of the heart, sweating palms, passionate, or an instant connection?  Being in love and falling in love for some, describes the action of attachment and a long term commitment… the “You Complete Me”.  So how does this tie into the new little Royal Baby and Kate Duchess of Cambridge? Is it Baby Love at first sight?

Love and Hormones

Did you know that the hormones (primarily Oxytocin) that connected you to your husband/partner/ baby daddy are the same hormones that connect you to your baby?   The hormone Oxytocin that is released during interactions with our partner helps us bond and connect with our baby.  Voila Baby Love!  Just as we move beyond lust/passion and enter into a meaningful relationship with our partners, we must do the same with our babies.  An immediate connection may not occur the minute the doctor places your child in your arms.  Despite how the media, other women and our culture have glorified this experience; it is often not reality.  New moms are exhausted, anxious, often drugged, concerned about breastfeeding/milk supply and meeting the stranger they have carried for 9 months.  Loving your babe (like breastfeeding!) may take time, not all things occur as naturally as they are portrayed.  It’s alright and doesn’t have to be “Baby Love” at first sight.

Expectations of Baby Love

If we could change the expectations of “Baby Love” we might be able to help prevent anxiety, fear and a mother feeling she is not good enough.  We could then be realistic and honest about pregnancy and childbirth.  If we were to acknowledge “Baby Love” is not […]

4 Warning Signs of Sibling Bullying

A new study published in the Journal of Pediatrics from researchers with the University of New Hampshire brings light to a very talked about subject in a very different environment. We are all aware of the unfortunate situation of bullying occurring at school. Name calling, physical aggression, and children taunting each other are the common methods used by bullies towards their victims in the school setting. Depending on the severity of the bullying that an individual has experienced, it can have lasting impact on their emotional and psychological well-being.  But what about being bullied at home? Is it possible to be bullied by your own sibling? The aforementioned study finds that sibling bullying is real and can be harmful to a child or adolescent’SIBLINGBULLYINGs mental health.

Surely if you have grown up with brothers and sisters, or have children of your own, you are aware that various forms of sibling rivalry can occur. Maybe you argued over who the best athlete is or constantly fought over who would ride in the front seat.  Sibling bullying is different from sibling rivalry in that its main purpose is to hurt the other child. This can occur physically or emotionally.  Sibling bullying is different from peer bullying in that siblings have the ability to get at each other quickly. Parents, listed below are a few warning signs and advice to use if you suspect that sibling bullying is going on in your home. While this is not an exhaustive list, it exists to give parents a starting point to help assess the relationships between their children.

WARNING SIGNS

1.       Harsh insults are forms of sibling bullying and can take […]

3 Realistic Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy

TV.  Not a day goes by that we don’t see pregnant Kim Kardashian sporting a designer outfit emphasizing her growing baby bump on covers of magazines or on entertainment (OK, I really hate the words “baby bump” but, hey it’s what they are calling these little miracles these days.)  Celebrity pregnancies are exciting and often portrayed as glamorous, as in the case of Princess Katherine, and we can’t help ourselves from following their every move for nine months.  After the baby is born, we become obsessed with pictures of their little one and following the celebrity’s journey to getting back to their pre-baby weight.

PregnancyWhat bothers me most about the publicity of celebrity pregnancies is the magazine headlines that often criticize these women for either gaining weight while pregnant, or, not losing the weight fast enough after the birth of their child. The opposite is also true when Supermodels who gave birth just six-weeks prior are modeling lingerie down a catwalk.  What kind of messages do these negative headlines and images send to pregnant women and new moms about added weight during and after pregnancy?  Unfortunately, those headlines and images are what sells product and makes money for celebrities and isn’t reality for us regular women.  Gaining weight during pregnancy IS reality and weight gain within proper limits for your personal body weight is normal and healthy for both you and your little miracle.

Avoid the negative headlines and airbrushed photos of celebrities post-baby and take control of your own healthy pregnancy by following these 3 tips from the USDA’s www.choosemyplate.gov website, along with your physician’s guidelines, that may help you select healthier food choices while […]

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women’s Counseling

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women's Counseling

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women’s Counseling

Every day, I talk to women in the grocery store, at my kids’ school, birthday parties, doctors offices and online. These women share their real stories of motherhood and struggles. They have courageously shed their capes and dropped their masks. They say, “I was suffering during pregnancy and after the birth of my baby.  I felt alone.” They had difficult pregnancies, births, trouble breastfeeding, anxiety, depression, bumpy relationships with their spouse or partner, adjusting to staying at home, working full-time and the fulfilling but, rocky road to motherhood.

These women are brave leaders; standing up and saying this road is difficult.  Motherhood is confusing and the role more complicated than ever before.  Mom’s and expectant mothers are supposed to be all things: homemaker extraordinaire, enthusiastic lover who wears nothing but Victoria Secret, provider who works full-time in the corporate world and “Super Mom.” Whether or not you agree with Sheryl Sandberg and her book “Lean In,” it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that women need to support one another; allowing us to be real and mother’s who can have it all.

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In!

  1. Who are we? Women are in danger of losing themselves as they fulfill their roles and care for all but themselves!  These expectations are unrealistic and can’t be reached. Why do we think we can reach them without real Super Hero Powers? There has not been another time in history where there were so many roles and expectations of women.  […]

Theme Park 101 for New Moms! Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

 

We all love theme parks, the excitement, characters, rides, the magic that thrills adults and children.  As a mom you want to take it all in and have an experience of a lifetime with your family. You and your partner/husband, baby and toddler in tow, may want to attack this foreign land with the determination of climbing Mount Everest. It can be challenging and feel like trying to reach the summit with a stroller, baby, toddler and significant other strapped to your back. The air may start to thin and you ask yourself, “What Was I Thinking?” Moms often are command central for vacations and planning. For a new mom/ mom with a new baby it can be overwhelming.

Yes, I was one of those moms! I flew with my 6 week old, toddler and husband to the Mecca of theme parks. It is an understatement to say that I was not prepared. Our trip began with a ride on the boat to take us across the magical waters to the Kingdom. Getting off the boat I did not anticipate the jockeying that was required when handling a stroller and competing with scooters for asphalt. Yep, I narrowly escaped a collision with a diehard theme park lover on a scooter. This was hard core!

The crowds were overwhelming; and the mommy/ baby area was at the front of the park, who knew? Time to feed baby: I couldn’t find anywhere to sit down. My husband was in a ride line with our toddler. I did what I could; I ducked behind my stroller, hunched on a curb, nursed my baby and prayed that […]

Baby Fever… 5 Ways to Talk to Your Man about the “Tick, Tock, Biological Clock.” Orlando Women’s Counseling

You now can check off your list, college, career and a long term relationship.  So what’s next?  A family? You agreed with your Mr. Right, “No baby”.  A baby makes things complicated; it’s hard to have a career and ties you down.  You have never felt the maternal pull.  You are a woman of a new age, different than your mother.  You have a career, work outside the home and you bring more to your relationship than an intellectual dowry.  No baby necessary.  But you feel a sudden tick tock, tick tock! You rapidly realize that you may have underestimated biology.  It’s cliché, I know! You have a high baby fever.

You discuss your feelings with your Prince charming and he tells you he isn’t ready to be a father that the economy is bad, he can’t afford it,  he’s too young or he’s too old, he’s been there done that, he will look like the kid’s grandfather, he doesn’t want to do it all over again. It will change his lifestyle and your sex life.  You won’t be able to spend as much time together, you can’t travel with him; the list goes on and on.  You are now at a biological count down and relationship stand- off! Your fertility has a best before expiration date. You know your life experiences and secondary education didn’t prepare you for this and the negotiations are on!

So you present and defend your best argument worthy of the Supreme Court, trying to convince your man to have a baby.  He won’t budge.  What to do?

  1. Give it time.  Layoff of the […]

A Cry for Help: 10 Things A Mother Might Post

Did you know that Facebook and other social media may be paving the way to bring attention to postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis?  We communicate on social networks daily; connect, express our feelings and seek support from others. Sadly, today a news story reported a young mother posted a cry for help on Facebook: she planned to take her 6 month old child’s life and then her own.  Family alerted the police but they were not able to reach her in time and the outcome was devastating.                                                                                                            

Postpartum Depression Misunderstood

Postpartum DepressionMedia reports of severe postpartum issues create shockwaves in the public. Thus shame becomes associated with postpartum depression.  Many women who suffer during the postpartum period do not seek treatment for fear of being identified with those who take the lives of their children.  Cases of infanticide coupled with suicide make the news headlines however; it is very rare for postpartum depression to develop into postpartum psychosis. Fortunately, postpartum psychosis can be treated successfully:  early intervention and education is the key and saves lives.  A new mom may not be able to ask for help.  She may also not look typically depressed and may even appear that she […]

Five Ways to Detect Depression in Your Teen

Depression has become a serious problem in our teenage culture. There are many reasons for this trend but it is most important to notice the pressures faced by teens in today’s society. Apart from the pressure from parents to excel at school, teens also face immense pressure from their peers. Teens are struggling with “fitting in” while trying to answer the questions, “Who am I and where do I belong?” Identity is a major factor for teens, they want to associate with others that are likable. It can be quite difficult for a teen if they are unsure about where to fit in or if they are rejected by peers he or she would like to identify with.

Bullying is another factor that has received increased attention. Especially since the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School and the recent shooting at Chardon High School, observations have been made regarding the link between bullying, depression, and homicidal thoughts. According to research, teens that are involved in bullying are more likely to become depressed than teens that stay away from it.  

Research has also touched on the relationship of antidepressants and homicidal thoughts. It has been shown that teens that used antidepressants were more likely to experience suicidal or homicidal thoughts. In the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School, Peter Breggin, a psychiatrist who analyzed the massacre at Columbine, revealed that side effects of anti-depressants may include increased aggression, loss of remorse, depersonalization, and mania.

5 Effects of Pornography on Individuals, Marriage, and Family

Pornography, which is the depiction of graphic sexual acts, has tremendous effects on anyone that continuously engages in its viewing.  It distorts a person’s concept of the nature of sexual relations which in turn can alter his/her sexual attitudes and behavior.  Below are some of the effects pornography has on its viewers.

1) Effects on the Family

Married men (this can also apply to women) who regularly engage in pornography are more likely to be dissatisfied with their wives and can become detached emotionally from them.  Wives may not be aware that their husband is viewing Pornography but they do notice a difference in his attitude toward her.  His change can be due to the fact that Pornography viewing makes you numb to “normal” sexual relations.  The more you are exposed to, the more you want it.  It’s like a never ending vicious cycle.  It may not just be the wife that’s suffering, if children are present they will be affected by their father’s pornography viewing as well.  A consequence of pornography viewing can be a loss of interest in family relations.  That also means less time spent with children.  All the addict can think of is how to satisfy his cravings.  Another problem can arise if a child becomes exposed to the pornographic material or accidentally finds his/her father engaging in Pornography.  This can very much distort the child’s perception of his/her father and the child’s image of healthy sexuality in general.

2)  Effects on the Individual

One […]

5 Things You Must Do If Your Child Is the Bully

My child?  A bully?  No way!  That is probably most parents’ response or at least what most parents would like to think of their children.  Unfortunately, somebody has got to be the bully, not everyone can be the victim.  Of course, that is not something we want to hear but denying that your child is the culprit is not going to help the situation. 

So what can you do as a parent when you find out your child has been bullying others?

1.  Schedule an appointment to talk with your child’s teacher or school counselor. 

Your child’s teacher may be able to give you some more insights on what is going on in the classroom, or tell you of any unusual behavior that he/she has witnessed about your child.  A school counselor may be able to give you some ideas on how to talk to your child about his/her behavior or even speak to the child him-/herself.

2.  Explain to your child that this kind of behavior is unacceptable.

Your child needs to learn how to behave appropriately toward others.  Your child also needs to learn to have clear boundaries.  If these are being crossed it is important that you, as a parent, are consequent in disciplining your child.