Parenting

Trash Talking Your Ex:The Long Term Emotional Impact For Children

There is an old saying “There is a fine line between love and hate.” You understand this now.  You never thought you would be so confused, full of anger and overwhelmed by feelings.  Being a divorcee and co-parenting never crossed your mind. You are hurt, angry and trash talking your ex. You try to not to say anything in front of the kids but you have a million passionate words to describe your ex and you were done wrong. The attorney and judge stressed the impact negative comments about your ex partner would have on your kids. So what is the long term emotional impact for your children when trash talking your ex?

We all know kids of divorce. Some of these kids are adults now who have commitment problems, poor self esteem, trust issues and don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. Maybe this is you or your ex? You may have parents who divorced and trash talked each other. Was this your normal? Did this impact you as a child?

Our childhood experiences and behavior modelled by our parents teach us how to interact, trust and develop relationships with those we love. It is doesn’t make sense but we often seek out partners with whom we can play out our unresolved childhood experiences.  So at times we try to re-enact our childhood and heal from the experiences we had as children.  You were impacted as a kid by what your parents said and role modelled for you, the good and the bad. We can’t help it.

Marina Sbrochi an author and writer is researching trash talking […]

Flight Of A Mom With a Special Needs Child, Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

When we are about to take off on a flight, the flight attendants instruct us about our seat belts, emergency exits and oxygen masks. Few of us pay attention.  We are busy settling a baby, telling our kids not to kick the seat in front of you and getting the DVD player rigged up. However, we are told if the oxygen mask drops from the compartment above to put your mask on first. Do you remember why? You can’t help your child/children if you don’t help yourself first and pass out from lack of oxygen. So why don’t we apply this in other areas of our lives that have taken flight in a direction we haven’t planned for? Especially if you have boarded the flight of a mom with a special needs child.

When we become mothers we often neglect ourselves as we care for our children. I am a mom of two little boys and ride the turbulent flight of health and learning problems for each one of my sons. It has taken time and effort to make sure both have proper care, Doctor’s, OT, PT, Speech, Learning Specialists, finding the right school, educating teachers about their needs, researching and being an advocate.

Maybe your experience began during pregnancy, when your child was born, in the NICU or during his/her first few years of life. You took on the role of being a mom and your child’s care needs are many: appointments, medication, daily functioning, nursing, emotional and social needs. You cope with crisis […]

Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando/Orlando Women’s Counseling

 How to tell if a A Mother  Might Need Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando.

1. She may feel anxious or panicky.

2. She has physical problems such as chest pain, racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, numbness in hands or feet, tingling sensations, nausea or upset tummy.

3. She has upsetting thoughts that she can’t get out of her mind.

4. She feels as if she is going crazy.

5. She feels sad or depressed.

6. She has problems eating or sleeping.

7. She feels like she should have never became a mother.

8. She is feeling more irritable or angry.

9. Feeling like she can’t cope with it all.

10. Worried she might hurt her baby or herself.

 

Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando.

There is help and no woman has to suffer alone. Women can and do recover. Postpartum depression recovery rates are high and treatment outcomes are successful.  Be an advocate for a mom and learn more about Postpartum Depression and educate those around you about the signs, symptoms, and myths. There is Help for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety in Orlando.

If a mom is struggling with her emotions and fears hurting herself or her baby she  needs immediate help, call (911) or take her to the nearest emergency room. Let her know you are willing to walk with her through this by being supportive and not judgmental. Help talk to her doctor, find a counselor/therapist, and remind her she is not alone. By bringing awareness, education and support to the feelings of postpartum depression and […]

  • 5 Ways To Thrive in New School Transition | Orlando Counseling Services 5 Ways To Thrive in New School Transition | Orlando Counseling Services

    5 Ways To Thrive in New School Transition | Orlando Counseling Services

5 Ways To Thrive in New School Transition | Orlando Counseling Services

How can parents and students thrive in a new school environment?  A new school environment can be a result of a student going from middle school to high school, or the entire family relocating to a different state.  Today, and especially in Central Florida, there are many schools that parents can choose from for their children.  If your child is switching schools due to a personal choice for him or herself, or yourself, different dynamics will apply.  The following are five things to consider in order to thrive in school transition!

After I completed my freshman year of high school in Mobile, Alabama, my father uprooted the family and moved us to sunny Central Florida.  He was offered a better job and as the baby in the family, who was I to argue?  This was no easy transition and I did not desire to move away from all that I knew to be familiar.  The road had been paved twice over from my older brother and sister graduating from my high school in Alabama.  My last name was known and I had more friends than I could count!  People, including teachers and coaches, knew me long before I had even heard of them and now I have to go to a new town and start over!  Ugh!

I learned from this experience and my desire is that it may help you or someone you know going through a similar situation. It was not easy for me, but eventually I was able to thrive in the new environment.  Transitioning to a new school is no easy task for anyone.  It is a different environment full of people you […]

Sarasota Murder-Suicide, Postpartum Depression? | Orlando Women’s Counseling

Sarasota Murder-Suicide, Postpartum Depression?

 Police: Mom shoots baby, then herself in Sarasota murder-suicide.  

This weekend a devastating and very sad story aired on the Orlando news.  The city of Sarasota needlessly lost a mother and baby.  This story impacts us greatly at Orlando Women’s Counseling as we work with women who have suffered from Postpartum Anxiety and Depression. Recently in Florida May 2013, a mom left her baby in the car and the baby died.  She was suffering from Postpartum Depression.  We can’t help but wonder if we could make a difference! Could we have prevented a tragedy like this from happening?  Was the Sarasota Murder-Suicide, Postpartum Depression? If others knew how to find help for a mom and baby could we prevent this from happening?

Cheryl Glassford, reporter with Bay New 9 in Sarasota wrote, “Little is known at this time about what could have led up to the incident, still some residents in the neighborhood are wondering if they could have made a difference.”

 One of the neighbors interviewed stated “There is help out there for people that need the help, and just ask…people will help,” said Kizman. “I pray for the family. For everyone that’s involved.”

How can you tell if a mom is suffering or is at risk for postpartum depression?

First, you should know a mom may not be able to ask for help. Why not?  Media reports of severe postpartum issues create shock waves in the public.  The loss of a mother and child is painful and hard to understand.  It hurts deeply. Thus, shame becomes […]

New Mom Jitters or Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety? Orlando Women’s Counseling

 New Mom Jitters or Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety? 

“I’ve heard of Postpartum Depression but what is Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety?”

“How can I tell if my Anxiety is something to be concerned about or if it is New Mom Jitters?”

  15- 20% of women experience Postpartum Anxiety and Depression (PSI, 2010).  But did you know that some women may experience Pregnancy Anxiety or Postpartum Anxiety with or without the signs of depression? So is it New Mom Jitters or Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety ? New Mom Jitters are normal, the fear, worry and adjustment to being a mother are part of the transition.  Many women don’t openly talk about how hard it really is! So how do we know what is normal and what is not?  We are bombarded by so much information from pre-conception to birth. Experts and Doctors spelling out  the “Do’s” and “Don’ts”.  How can women not be anxious, overwhelmed and fearful? So how do I know if my worries have gotten too big?  First It’s “OK” to struggle and second don’t get overwhelmed by thinking about your anxiety. Educate yourself to help yourself. You can come out of this and feel like yourself again.

What does Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety look like?

  • Worrying all the time~ New Moms worry but if anxiety changes your routine or you are unable to do activities that you did before the baby, such as driving or going to the store, this is a concern. Ditto if you are pregnant.
  • Uncontrollable thoughts that something bad is going to happen~ New Moms have these thoughts ( normal) but if you can’t control or talk […]

Stressed Out Mama! Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

 

 

Summer’s over and now I am hitting the ground earlier, getting breakfast together with one eye open, making lunches, backpacks stocked, thinking about work and dragging sleep drunk kids out of bed. I barely get a swig of coffee before I tear out the door with two rowdy kids in tow. The drive to school is full of “I don’t want to go to school, I didn’t brush my teeth, I forgot my homework” and me fumbling to check my iPhone calendar at a red light.  Yep, I am “back to school”! The world of an overwhelmed “back to school” stressed out mama, doing the best I can! You may be a CEO, work in health care or prevent global warming, but back to school stress still gets you!

Once I drop the kids at the school doors, papers flying everywhere; I put the car in drive, breath and start thinking about how another year has gone by…sniff, sniff! As a mom it has been hard learning how to adapt to so much change and juggling so many things at once. I confess I can’t do it all and sometimes just scrap by trying to keep it all together myself.  I am not the “I’ve Got It All Together Classroom Mom” or the “Super Working Mom”.  I‘ve found myself in several awkward situations; trying inconspicuously to pull a hot roller out of my hair while running into the school with a form or arriving at work with mismatched shoes, or forgetting to send my child’s lunch to school.

So here is why you may […]

  • 5 Tips to Help Children in a Successful School Year | Orlando Family Counseling 5 Tips to Help Children in a Successful School Year | Orlando Family Counseling

    5 Tips to Help Children in a Successful School Year | Orlando Family Counseling

5 Tips to Help Children in a Successful School Year | Orlando Family Counseling

In many cases children, especially teenagers, need support, encouragement, and accountability when it comes to their school work. Orlando Family Counseling can help you and your family by providing the right tools to get your family moving in the right direction!

Keep in mind that in two-parent households, parents should work together as a team in all aspects of parenting. This is also true when it comes to the expectations each of you have when it comes to your child academically.  It is imperative that parents are on the same page and back each other on the rules and expectations of the school year.  When parents do not work as a team, it is easy for a child to manipulate the situation and get out of responsibilities. In single-parent households, this may be difficult due to you working alone but is doable none-the-less.

1.     Communicate Your Expectations: Prior to the school year beginning, hold a meeting with each of your children present. Communicate to them the expectations you have of them this year. Explain to them that school is important to their future and that they are required to do their best. A good way of engaging a teenager in this discussion is by asking them questions such as, “The school year is about to start, I am wondering what grades you are capable of earning in each of your classes this year if you do your best?” This is a great way to get a fair assessment of the mind set of your child prior to school beginning. Keep in mind that children are gifted differently and the academic strength of each child will not be the same. You should encourage your child  to do […]

  • 4 Ways to Curb Emotional Eating in Children and Adolescents 4 Ways to Curb Emotional Eating in Children and Adolescents

    4 Ways to Curb Emotional Eating in Children and Adolescents

4 Ways to Curb Emotional Eating in Children and Adolescents

The new school year is almost here and your kids are probably getting excited about seeing their friends and favorite teachers again.  For some kids though, school is a source of high anxiety as it relates to making good grades, balancing homework with after-school activities, and sadly, bullying or family troubles.  Just like adults, children have to cope with these everyday stressors and often turn to overeating and consuming not-so-healthy foods as a way of dealing with these issues.  This emotional eating behavior can have serious health concerns if children do not have a different means of coping with their stress.

I recently ran across a study published in Appetite in September of 20071 that discussed the correlation between emotional eating in adolescents and the rising intake of energy-dense, or higher calorie, foods.  According to the study, children were more likely to eat foods with higher fat and calories, primarily from sugar, than children who cope with their stress in other ways.  The children in the study consumed less fruits and vegetables when they were stressed out which is associated with a higher risk of being overweight as teens.  Additionally, these children are more likely to consume sugary beverages such as soda when they are feeling the burn.

So as the new school year approaches, here are 4 ways that may help curb emotional eating with your children and adolescents and to help them cope with their stress and anxiety in a healthier way that won’t increase their risk of becoming overweight or obese later in life:

1.        Keep healthier snacks on hand.  If unhealthy snacks aren’t available in your house, your children won’t be able to eat them.  Try to keep carrots, celery, peanut butter, low-fat cheese […]

3 Ways to Help a New Mom Cope…..Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

I remember coming home from the hospital with a new baby and feeling the fear, excitement and overwhelming stress of it all. Taking care of the baby, laundry, meals, and even taking a shower was like trying to juggle with my hands tied behind my back. For a new mom when trying to juggle household tasks, the most common emotions can be feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. You can’t accomplish as much as you would like to and the baby pulls you in so many different directions during the day. Trying to get it all done can just be too much! This is a huge adjustment for a mom. It is common to have feelings of happiness, to feel energized, excited but also fatigued, overwhelmed, irritable, problems sleeping and feeling sad. You can feel happy and thrilled and then a moment later tired, anxious and helpless. So trying to juggle household tasks can seem like walking on a tight rope while carrying the baby on your hip. Being a new mom is a wonderful experience but also an emotional and physical adjustment for the mom, her husband/ partner and family.

3 Ways to help a new Mom Cope and Juggle it all!

1. Have A Plan.
Having a plan before the baby comes makes the adjustment easier.
Many of us have agonized over detailed birth plans but what about after the birth? A “Mommy Plan” is just as important. The place to begin is with your
spouse or partner. Before the birth of the baby outline tasks that will need to be completed to baby proof your relationship with […]