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Sarasota Murder-Suicide, Postpartum Depression? | Orlando Women’s Counseling

Sarasota Murder-Suicide, Postpartum Depression?

 Police: Mom shoots baby, then herself in Sarasota murder-suicide.  

This weekend a devastating and very sad story aired on the Orlando news.  The city of Sarasota needlessly lost a mother and baby.  This story impacts us greatly at Orlando Women’s Counseling as we work with women who have suffered from Postpartum Anxiety and Depression. Recently in Florida May 2013, a mom left her baby in the car and the baby died.  She was suffering from Postpartum Depression.  We can’t help but wonder if we could make a difference! Could we have prevented a tragedy like this from happening?  Was the Sarasota Murder-Suicide, Postpartum Depression? If others knew how to find help for a mom and baby could we prevent this from happening?

Cheryl Glassford, reporter with Bay New 9 in Sarasota wrote, “Little is known at this time about what could have led up to the incident, still some residents in the neighborhood are wondering if they could have made a difference.”

 One of the neighbors interviewed stated “There is help out there for people that need the help, and just ask…people will help,” said Kizman. “I pray for the family. For everyone that’s involved.”

How can you tell if a mom is suffering or is at risk for postpartum depression?

First, you should know a mom may not be able to ask for help. Why not?  Media reports of severe postpartum issues create shock waves in the public.  The loss of a mother and child is painful and hard to understand.  It hurts deeply. Thus, shame becomes […]

Stressed Out Mama! Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

 

 

Summer’s over and now I am hitting the ground earlier, getting breakfast together with one eye open, making lunches, backpacks stocked, thinking about work and dragging sleep drunk kids out of bed. I barely get a swig of coffee before I tear out the door with two rowdy kids in tow. The drive to school is full of “I don’t want to go to school, I didn’t brush my teeth, I forgot my homework” and me fumbling to check my iPhone calendar at a red light.  Yep, I am “back to school”! The world of an overwhelmed “back to school” stressed out mama, doing the best I can! You may be a CEO, work in health care or prevent global warming, but back to school stress still gets you!

Once I drop the kids at the school doors, papers flying everywhere; I put the car in drive, breath and start thinking about how another year has gone by…sniff, sniff! As a mom it has been hard learning how to adapt to so much change and juggling so many things at once. I confess I can’t do it all and sometimes just scrap by trying to keep it all together myself.  I am not the “I’ve Got It All Together Classroom Mom” or the “Super Working Mom”.  I‘ve found myself in several awkward situations; trying inconspicuously to pull a hot roller out of my hair while running into the school with a form or arriving at work with mismatched shoes, or forgetting to send my child’s lunch to school.

So here is why you may […]

The X Factor: 5 Signs You Are NOT Over Your Ex | Breakups

 

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“I’m so over him! I don’t care anymore!”

How many times have you said this but shortly thereafter you were wishing you were back together?  Have you ever felt so certain that this time you were going to move on, only to then have the “what if” thoughts flood your brain?  You are not alone!  Did you know that 9 out of 10 people reading this have been on this roller coaster ride?  The thing is …we don’t really like this ride; it’s very difficult to handle.  Some might find themselves daydreaming about their ex or reliving the good times even months or years after the relationship has ended.  They may really want to think that they’re over their ex but subconsciously might be harboring romantic feelings, which can keep them from finding healthy love in which both parties are mutually invested.

Here are some signs that you might still be holding on to the past:

Sign #1: You are still hoping to “bump” into him. 

If you are still going to the same hang out spots, hoping to run into him with your new sexy outfit on, you are not over your ex!  Sure you know his schedule, it involved you, but it doesn’t anymore. That can be a hard realization but until that sinks in, you may find yourself not taking the necessary steps to keep it moving.

Sign #2: You want him to see you happy

girls night out 8If you are posting a usual amount of “party girl” pictures on your social media sites, just so he can see you that you are perfectly fine without […]

Kate, Duchess of Cambridge…Baby Love? Orlando Women’s Counseling

 

How do you define love?  Is it the pounding of the heart, sweating palms, passionate, or an instant connection?  Being in love and falling in love for some, describes the action of attachment and a long term commitment… the “You Complete Me”.  So how does this tie into the new little Royal Baby and Kate Duchess of Cambridge? Is it Baby Love at first sight?

Love and Hormones

Did you know that the hormones (primarily Oxytocin) that connected you to your husband/partner/ baby daddy are the same hormones that connect you to your baby?   The hormone Oxytocin that is released during interactions with our partner helps us bond and connect with our baby.  Voila Baby Love!  Just as we move beyond lust/passion and enter into a meaningful relationship with our partners, we must do the same with our babies.  An immediate connection may not occur the minute the doctor places your child in your arms.  Despite how the media, other women and our culture have glorified this experience; it is often not reality.  New moms are exhausted, anxious, often drugged, concerned about breastfeeding/milk supply and meeting the stranger they have carried for 9 months.  Loving your babe (like breastfeeding!) may take time, not all things occur as naturally as they are portrayed.  It’s alright and doesn’t have to be “Baby Love” at first sight.

Expectations of Baby Love

If we could change the expectations of “Baby Love” we might be able to help prevent anxiety, fear and a mother feeling she is not good enough.  We could then be realistic and honest about pregnancy and childbirth.  If we were to acknowledge “Baby Love” is not […]

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women’s Counseling

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women's Counseling

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In! Orlando Women’s Counseling

Every day, I talk to women in the grocery store, at my kids’ school, birthday parties, doctors offices and online. These women share their real stories of motherhood and struggles. They have courageously shed their capes and dropped their masks. They say, “I was suffering during pregnancy and after the birth of my baby.  I felt alone.” They had difficult pregnancies, births, trouble breastfeeding, anxiety, depression, bumpy relationships with their spouse or partner, adjusting to staying at home, working full-time and the fulfilling but, rocky road to motherhood.

These women are brave leaders; standing up and saying this road is difficult.  Motherhood is confusing and the role more complicated than ever before.  Mom’s and expectant mothers are supposed to be all things: homemaker extraordinaire, enthusiastic lover who wears nothing but Victoria Secret, provider who works full-time in the corporate world and “Super Mom.” Whether or not you agree with Sheryl Sandberg and her book “Lean In,” it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that women need to support one another; allowing us to be real and mother’s who can have it all.

3 Reasons Mothers Should Lean In!

  1. Who are we? Women are in danger of losing themselves as they fulfill their roles and care for all but themselves!  These expectations are unrealistic and can’t be reached. Why do we think we can reach them without real Super Hero Powers? There has not been another time in history where there were so many roles and expectations of women.  […]

Finding Purpose in Being Alone: 3 Ways to Uncover the Power of One

Singledom: we’re either there, been there, or going to be there! This stage and time in our lives is something we all, as human beings, hold in common. Everyone, regardless of size, color, economic position, power, or geographic location will experience this very moment in their lives at some point. How we take advantage of this time is up to us on an individual basis. There can be power in your singleness, you just have to uncover it.

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1.  There is power in self-discovery. This process is intense and incredibly different for a person who is single versus someone who is in a relationship. This is the time to not only discover your likes and passions but also to discover your own personal barriers to finding healthy love. You need to uncover that power, gently, by peeling away layer after layer of who you are, why you are the way you are, and who you want to be. There is power in knowing your previous relationship triggers, your deep individual hidden issues and expectations. While you are single, self-exploring and reflecting, you have the ability to take the steps necessary for change without affecting anyone but YOURSELF.
Uncover: Self-discovery can be a bumpy journey but it is o’ so worth it. Begin by journaling or meditating on the events that have made a significant impact in your life. Ask yourself, what consequences has it had on me personally and romantically? What behaviors do I display when I am triggered by similar events? What are those triggers or events? Acknowledge the purpose those circumstances may have had in your life and make the decision to be different. Give […]

  • Three Ways to Help You Walk Away from a Toxic Relationship Three Ways to Help You Walk Away from a Toxic Relationship

    Three Ways to Help You Walk Away from a Toxic Relationship

Three Ways to Help You Walk Away from a Toxic Relationship

It Is Hard To Walk Away From Toxic Relationships 

Why do we hold on to a toxic relationship?  There is no solid one-answer-fits-all response. What is clear is that humans are creatures of habit;  finding comfort within discomfort.  Unfortunately, people who come from a dysfunctional family dynamic are also likely to repeat family dysfunction in their own respective families and romantic relationships.  So how can you walk away from someone you love so passionately, whom you’ve invested so much time and effort into, and someone whom you’ve shared so many experiences with?  Walking away is not easy but if you want to break those unhealthy relationship patterns from your past, some tough decisions may be in order.  Here are some tips to help you walk away with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child:

1. First, identify if the relationship has ran its course or if it is simply going through a rough patch. 

Identify the red flags; take inventory of the good, the bad, and the ugly. An example of a red flag that can help you identify an unhealthy relationship is if you are keeping secrets from others or within the relationship itself.  I am not talking about privacy.  Privacy is important in a marriage to protect the integrity of your union but secrecy is something you keep from others because you are a) embarrassed, b) afraid others will dislike your partner, c) afraid of the repercussions, or d) all of the above. For more information check out “Warning!! Warning!! Four Signs Of A Potentially Toxic Relationship.”

2. Have the courage to say “enough is enough.”

People often stay in toxic relationships because it’s “not that bad,” because “they […]

Baby Fever… 5 Ways to Talk to Your Man about the “Tick, Tock, Biological Clock.” Orlando Women’s Counseling

You now can check off your list, college, career and a long term relationship.  So what’s next?  A family? You agreed with your Mr. Right, “No baby”.  A baby makes things complicated; it’s hard to have a career and ties you down.  You have never felt the maternal pull.  You are a woman of a new age, different than your mother.  You have a career, work outside the home and you bring more to your relationship than an intellectual dowry.  No baby necessary.  But you feel a sudden tick tock, tick tock! You rapidly realize that you may have underestimated biology.  It’s cliché, I know! You have a high baby fever.

You discuss your feelings with your Prince charming and he tells you he isn’t ready to be a father that the economy is bad, he can’t afford it,  he’s too young or he’s too old, he’s been there done that, he will look like the kid’s grandfather, he doesn’t want to do it all over again. It will change his lifestyle and your sex life.  You won’t be able to spend as much time together, you can’t travel with him; the list goes on and on.  You are now at a biological count down and relationship stand- off! Your fertility has a best before expiration date. You know your life experiences and secondary education didn’t prepare you for this and the negotiations are on!

So you present and defend your best argument worthy of the Supreme Court, trying to convince your man to have a baby.  He won’t budge.  What to do?

  1. Give it time.  Layoff of the […]

Prepare / Enrich

Take your relationship from good to great!

Saturdays, 10:00am-2:00pm – Facilitated by Janie Lacy, LMHC, NCC, CSAT
Join our couple enrichment group using the PREPARE/ENRICH inventories. You and your partner will:

Receive a comprehensive summary of your relationship strengths and growth areas*
Complete relationship exercises designed to improve important relationship skills
Learn major research findings on topics such as Personality, Stress, and Conflict
Have fun and connect with other couples!
Cost: $85 per couple (includes relationship assessment)

RSVP to 407-622-1770

Location: Life Counseling Solutions 220 Lookout Place, Maitland, FL 32751

*Your Couple Report is confidential and any group discussion is optional.

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Anger Management

Saturday, March 23 from 9:00am-5:00pm – Facilitated by Janie Lacy, LMHC, NCC. Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Do you have a problem with anger? The goal of our Ager Management Workshop is not to be “Anger Free”. It’s goal is to teach individuals how to control and understand their responses. This 8-hour workshop helps you understand:

Rage: the Monster Within
Why we all struggle with anger
How to turn harmful anger into helpful anger
How to resolve conflict constructively
How to stop stress before it starts
We provide you with the tools you need to improve your situation. Our counselors are fun, relational, interactive and approachable.
Certificates of completion are provided at the end of the workshop. Court referrals accepted.

Individual Anger Management Counseling can be scheduled as well.

Cost: $75

To RSVP: Please call 407-622-1770

Location: 220 Lookout Place, Maitland, FL 32751

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