Eating Disorders

The Problem With Rape | Orlando Sexual Abuse Counseling

The Problem With Rape | Orlando Sexual Abuse Counseling

Yesterday, a reporter asked President Obama to make a statement about the allegations that Bill Cosby drugged and raped women.  The President declined to comment on Bill Cosby, but followed with a statement that is going to hit home with almost everyone, because it registers as obvious.  He said, “No civilized country should tolerate rape.”

As a society, we agree that rape, and along a continuum, any form of sexual abuse is wrong.  When we define the concept of rape on paper, it is clear that sex, or sexual acts, that happen through force, coercion, or without mutual consent are wrong.  If we imagine a rape, or sexual abuse, we think scary, dark, criminal figure seeking out a victim, stalking them, and overpowering a weaker person in a dark alley.  That scenario can and does happen, even though it never should.  But statistics show that 4 out of 5 assaults occur by someone who knows the victim, and that 47% of rapists are a friend or acquaintance of the victim.

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The problem with rape is that when it happens in reality, it is not as clearly defined as a crime in the victim’s mind. 4 out 5 times a victim is raped by someone that they know, not a scary stranger in a dark alley at night.  It’s this personal experience with their perpetrator that leaves the victim feeling confused about what’s actually happened.    It’s easy to put the label “rapist”, “sexual abuser” and “pedophile” on a scary stranger that you don’t know.  Victims of rape, date rape, and sexual abuse are often reluctant to […]

Signs of an Eating Disorder | Orlando Eating Disorder Counseling

Signs of an Eating Disorder | Orlando Eating Disorder Counseling

Recently, Scandal star Portia de Rossi opened up to Entertainment Tonight about her struggle with anorexia and bulimia. The actress, now 43 years old, did not start battling these disorders as an adult, or even a teenager, but became anorexic and bulimic at the young age of 12. While it is difficult to fathom a 12-year-old struggling with such adult issues, the much too unfortunate fact of the matter is that it is very common for the onset of an eating disorder to begin this early in adolescence. In fact, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, anorexia is the third most common illness among adolescents. Also, 95% of those struggling with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 26 years old.

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If you are worried that your pre-teen or teenager may be struggling with an eating disorder. Here are some signs to look out for:

With Anorexia:
• Dramatic change in weight
• Obsessing about calories, food intake, and diets.
• Refusal to eat at certain restaurants or certain foods cooked for them.
• Comments about being “fat,” “obese,” or “overweight.”
• Obsessing over food rituals such as chewing a certain amount of times or eating at exactly the same time every day.
• Withdrawal from friends and family.
• Lack of control with food (binging).

With Bulimia:
• Eating large amounts of food.
• Lack of control with food (binging).
• Going to the bathroom after every meal almost immediately.
• Hiding food in his/her bedroom.
• Using laxatives.
• Scars on knuckles.
• Frequent fluctuations in his/her weight.

There are things you can do to get your adolescent help. First […]

How to Find Your Worth in Your Self & Not in Others | Orlando Self-Esteem Counseling

How to Find Your Worth in Your Self and Not in Others | Orlando Self-Esteem Counseling

Many people struggle daily to build and maintain a positive self-esteem. Some struggle more than others because they have not yet developed a true sense of self. It is impossible to have self-esteem without a sense of self. How can you feel good about yourself if you don’t really even know who you are? When developing your sense of self, one of the key factors is to find your self-worth in yourself and not in others. Most of us are guiltier of this than we would like to admit. For example, if a girl is dating a guy who is verbally and emotionally abusive and tells her things like she is fat, worthless and disgusting, then she tends to believe this about her self and lose her sense of worth. She adapts his belief of her, which in turn affects her self-esteem.

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So, how do you find your self worth in yourself rather than others?

1. Set boundaries: Before getting into any relationship or friendship, be very aware of the kind of people you want to let into your life. You do not deserve to be belittled; therefore, you need to make that your own belief, so that it is easy to stick to your boundary. Start vague like: “I will not allow people that do not value me into my intimate life.” And become more specific as you become more confident in your ability to set and stick to boundaries.

2. Embrace your qualities and your flaws. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. The sooner you realize […]

5 Questions To Choose The Best Orlando Therapist

5 Ways To Choose The Best Orlando Therapist | Life Counseling Solutions 

Did you know that most consumers of therapy don’t take the time to learn about what they need to know about partnering with the best counselor or therapist who can help them be successful in meeting their therapeutic goals?

Firstly, YOU are the consumer so ask questions and “shop” around to find the best fit for you.  It is also best to highly consider referrals from family and friends who have had experience working with a particular counselor or therapist.

ORLANDOBESTTHERAPISTLife Counseling Solutions like many counseling centers offer a complimentary phone consultation or face-to -face meeting. You want to take advantage of this opportunity to briefly explain your problem(s) and ask the counselor or therapist to share how they would approach the problem. If possible, try to chat with at least three different counselors or therapists.   Here are a few questions that you can ask in that initial conversation:

  • How many couples or individuals with similar issues do you work with per week?
    • For example, the more couples that a couple’s therapist works with per week, the more experience she or he has working with couples. Therefore, if you are seeking counseling for your relationship, then you want a therapist who primarily works with couples.
  • Do you work with a couple together or in separate sessions?
    • Life Counseling Solutions believes that it is imperative to see couples together. The therapist can miss the dynamic of how the couple relates when they are seen separately. While there may be a good reason to have one or two individual sessions with each person in the relationship, this should be more the exception […]

4 Ways To Prevent Teen Isolation | Orlando Social Anxiety Counseling

As I continue to work with teens in counseling, I’m constantly learning their new trends, ways of life, and outlooks on everything from family, to relationships, to friends. The newest sentence that keeps popping up in my sessions is: “I like my internet friends rather than my real life friends.” When I ask why the response is usually something like: “My internet friends don’t judge me” or “I feel comfortable talking to my internet friends because it’s not a face to face conversation” or “my internet friends are niceteens, online friends, anxiety, isolationr, more accepting and understand what I am going through.”

While these conversations always raise a red flag for me (i.e. online pedophiles, etc.) I remain calm and retrieve some information about these “friends” they are referring to. Back in my day, chat rooms were a big craze and you really didn’t know who was chatting on the other end. Today, apps like Instagram and Skype are used more often for online friends to connect and chat. This makes teenagers feel like they know the person on the other side of the screen because they can see their pictures or speak to them in real time. Texting apps are also a huge way that teens are “socializing” with their friends they meet online. Obviously, still, there can be predators on the other end.

What concerns me, mentally, though is the social wall that these teens are building. I have seen numerous clients push their “real friends” out of their life so much, that they are left with nothing but an online presence. They shut the real world out, and let the cyber world in. It’s […]

Dangers of Teen Codependent Relationships| Orlando Teen Codependency Counseling

Dangers of Teen Codependent Relationships| Orlando Teen Codependency Counseling

Codependency is a term that can be defined as “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.” Unfortunately, codependence can affect anyone and it is an issue that is even affecting teenagers. Codependent relationships in teens can be extremely dangerous, as we have learned by recent events in Windermere, Florida.

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On Saturday, March 22nd, two teens shot and killed an officer and then themselves. Suicide notes were found by parents along with notes to each other and plans of the future. The plans included that the couple desired to get married (Brandon Goode being 18 years old and his girlfriend Alex Hollinghurst only 17 years old), steal a boat and sail to Panama. Brandon painted Alex a “romantic” idea of a future by saying, “We could live on a beach, just you and me, forever;” however, this isolation and dependency is exactly what fed into the couple’s toxic relationship. Another letter was found where Brandon was apologizing for creating so many problems for Alex and breaking up with her. According to letters, and the events that ensued on Saturday, obviously the break up did not last.

Often times, teenagers get a tumultuous relationship confused for a passionate one. They think the codependency is romantic rather than unhealthy. And the on again/off again relationship as destiny to be together, rather than being unable to set and maintain healthy boundaries. This kind of behavior is definitely dangerous to one’s mental health, but as Windermere and the families of […]

How To Cope This Holiday Season: Loved One’s Eating Disorder

As wonderful as the Holidays can be for many of us, this is often a time of stress, anxiety, and despair for many suffering from an eating disorder. The Holiday Season is not only focused around gifts, and time with loved ones, but FOOD. Food is an obsession that those with an eating disorder struggle with every day, and the holidays just intensify this obsession.

OrlandoEatingDisorderCounselingHolidaysThe following tips will help you cope with your loved one’s eating disorder and make the holidays merry and bright.

o Do not put a huge emphasis on what your loved one is eating.
o Check in with your loved one privately and see how he or she is doing emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally.
o Be genuine with your loved one. Remind him or her that they are loved and valued no matter what.
o Make the focus of the holidays about family and quality time together, not food or eating habits.
o Do not draw attention to the eating disorder.
o Do not talk about weight loss or weight gain, even if referring to yourself or others.
o Be patient. This is an especially difficult time for your loved one.
o Have your loved one seek counseling.

Although there are some specific guidelines to help your loved one this holiday season, do not feel that you have to “walk on eggshells” and be unnatural. The more natural environment that you create, the easier it will be for your loved one to cope and not feel the pressure of his or her eating disorder.

If you or a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder, then call Eating Disorder Counseling Orlando with  Life Counseling Solutions today for a COMPLIMENTARY […]

3 Realistic Tips for a Healthy Pregnancy

TV.  Not a day goes by that we don’t see pregnant Kim Kardashian sporting a designer outfit emphasizing her growing baby bump on covers of magazines or on entertainment (OK, I really hate the words “baby bump” but, hey it’s what they are calling these little miracles these days.)  Celebrity pregnancies are exciting and often portrayed as glamorous, as in the case of Princess Katherine, and we can’t help ourselves from following their every move for nine months.  After the baby is born, we become obsessed with pictures of their little one and following the celebrity’s journey to getting back to their pre-baby weight.

PregnancyWhat bothers me most about the publicity of celebrity pregnancies is the magazine headlines that often criticize these women for either gaining weight while pregnant, or, not losing the weight fast enough after the birth of their child. The opposite is also true when Supermodels who gave birth just six-weeks prior are modeling lingerie down a catwalk.  What kind of messages do these negative headlines and images send to pregnant women and new moms about added weight during and after pregnancy?  Unfortunately, those headlines and images are what sells product and makes money for celebrities and isn’t reality for us regular women.  Gaining weight during pregnancy IS reality and weight gain within proper limits for your personal body weight is normal and healthy for both you and your little miracle.

Avoid the negative headlines and airbrushed photos of celebrities post-baby and take control of your own healthy pregnancy by following these 3 tips from the USDA’s www.choosemyplate.gov website, along with your physician’s guidelines, that may help you select healthier food choices while […]

Make One Healthy Move A Day

It’s a new year again and probably most New Year’s Resolutions had something to do with bettering yourself –  Making a commitment to go to the gym, to eat healthier, to be a better person.  Are you still sticking to your New Year’s Resolution or have you already forgotten about it?

 

Take a look at the suggestions below for a fresh start in this new year!

Seven Tips to get you started!

1.  Create a List of Five Things That Make You Happy

Personal happiness has more to do with how you spend your time and what you think about than external circumstances, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.  Prepare a list of the simple life events that make you feel good-smiling at strangers, sipping the perfect cup of coffee, taking a walk with friends. commit to at least one mood-boosting act every day.

2.  Cut Calories, Not Taste

Swap high-calorie ingredients for healthier options, says nutrition and wellness coach Mona Laru.  Try Greek yogurt as a spread instead of mayonnaise, portobello mushroom steaks rather than beef, red peppers on pizza in lieu of pepperoni, and applesauce for your baking in place of more caloric oil.

3.  Quit Waffling on Your Decisions

Washing your hands can help you stop questioning a decision, according to Spike W.S. Lee and Norbert Schwarz, psychology researchers at the University of Michigan. “Cleansing appears to remove not just physical residues, but ‘mental’ residues, such as the concern about whether […]