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Four Ways to Avoid Emotional Infidelity | Janie Lacy

Can someone cheat without ever having physical contact? According to recent reports covering the David Petraeus’s affair those close to him during his final tours of battle were not surprised at all. One of the reasons is that most affairs happen long before there is any physical connection, so just how do we avoid going down the path of infidelity?

 

  

1) End Personal Conversations

a. Emotional Infidelity is rarely planned. It often arises from innocent friendships that became too personal.

b. It is best to avoid emotional and personal conversation with the opposite sex. If you catch yourself discussing personal information or you realize someone is sharing personal information with you, change the subject gently or end the conversation.

2) Meet In Groups
a. Have business or planning meetings in groups of three or more. Even one extra person can minimize emotional intimate conversation from happening.

b. Don’t compromise this standard. Once others come to know this is your standard, they will respect it. The first time you let down your boundaries, it will make it easier to do in the future which can lead to compromising situations.

 
3) Avoid consistency with the same person
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3 Ways To Overcome Election Anger

Your Candidate Didn’t Win…How To Get Over It And Move On Without Killing Someone In The Process!

Are you frustrated that your candidate did not win the presidential election? Do you want to scream or flee the country?  Do you know that you can take that energy and respond in a way that helps you move forward regardless of the election outcome?  How about learning how A.R.T. can make a difference in your life and in those around you!

Everyone experiences anger because there are things that happened that we don’t like in life. There are certain expressions of anger that truly are bad for people. Research shows that it can be bad for the cardiovascular system, increase blood pressure, emotional health and for relationships especially if it is not resolved in a productive way.

 

 

 

1.    Acknowledge That You Are Angry.

This election has brought out the most passionate emotions for many voters regardless of who they supported in this election!  If a voter’s candidate did not win, they may feel very angry and wonder how the new president will affect their future!  It is very important that whatever the emotion that a voter is feeling be acknowledged.  We cannot deal with what we are feeling in a healthy way if we can’t acknowledge what it is that we are feeling.

 2.    Restrain Your Immediate Response.

Often times when people are angry, it is easy to forget that sometimes it can be more obvious to others then they would like it to be.  It is easy to take it out at work or with […]

Eight Tips For Life Balance

Is balance even possible with all we have going on today?  What does balance even look like? It sounds good…it seems like something to shoot for but is it realistic?  Too often we find ourselves overwhelmed and many times, it is with good things in our lives: jobs, children’s activities, social events, church, trying to stay healthy, and just day-to-day responsibilities.  So if we want to have some sense of sanity and balance in our lives, we know it won’t happen on its own. Let’s take a look at some specific ways we can start moving in that direction:

  1.  Be intentional about scheduling your time or it will schedule you: use a calendar, to-do lists.
  2. Set priorities and know when to say NO!  No really is an answer and to take care of yourself, it is a great answer. Don’t feel like you have to make an excuse or justification.  Just simply state that it doesn’t work right now but maybe at another time. 
  3. Look for creative ways to stay connected and have dual purpose: go to a baby workout class with sister, picnic lunch at park to have social time yet fun time for kids.
  4.  Make sure you take time for YOU so you stay rested and charged up, weekly massage, pampering time, connecting with friends.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, we will have nothing to offer anyone or anything else.
  5. Marriage: share the duties so it does […]

Boosting Your Marriage Libido

Have you hit a rough spot in your marriage when it comes to your sex life?  Is it just not the same anymore as it used to be?  Do you have a lack of physical attraction to your partner?  Or can you simply not find the time anymore due to work or children?

Reasons For a Low Sex Drive

Mismatched Desire

The problem may lie in the fact that you and your partner have different desires when it comes to sex.  Having a low desire may cause your partner to feel rejected.  Having a high desire may cause your partner to feel overwhelmed.  Finding a balance is key.

Hectic Lives

You come back from the honeymoon and real life hits you.  You both may have full time jobs, are overworked, have five little rascals running around the house, are too tired and simply cannot find the time to physically be with one another.  It’s extremely important that you nurture your relationship no matter what your duties are on a day-to-day basis.  Sex is a main component of any marriage and needs to be nurtured just as every other aspect of your marriage.  Just as you discuss your finances together you ought to make time to talk about your sex life.  Marriage is a bond between the two of you that needs to consistently […]

Should Children Pass Along Messages From Ex-Spouses?

How far can you go in involving your children when it comes to your ex-spouse?  Ideally, I believe it would be best that all communication between you and your ex-spouse be handled between the two of you.  There is absolutely no reason to involve your children.  Are you not both grown up individuals? Why do you need to use a child to deliver a message?  The fact that you have decided to separate is already hard enough for the child.  Imagine what you put him/her through by using him/her as your communication device?

Negative Effects on Children

There are many negative effects that your behavior can have on your children.  Your child may become torn between you and your ex-spouse.  Children tend to feel like they have to choose between one parent and the other.  They may also become overwhelmed by the demands put on them in carrying out your requests.  You need to be aware of the burden you are putting on your child.  Your child was not meant to be the messenger in your relationship with your ex-spouse.  Your child needs to be loved by both parents and to have a sense of security in his/her relationship with you.  I would recommend you to get over yourself and keep in mind what is best for the child.  You need to be able to put aside your anger, hurt, or disappointment from your ex-spouse and do what is best for your child.  Children need both parents in their lives.  I suggest you talk with your […]

3 Ways To Cope With Jerks

Someone cuts you off on the road; you encounter a rude salesperson or have to deal with a irate customer on the job.  You probably feel like screaming in their face but realize that this might not be the best way to deal with the situation.  So what can you do?

1)  Don’t Take It Personally

Most likely their anger or frustration has nothing to do with you in the first place.  Unfortunately, you are probably just the person that their frustration or anger is being lashed out on.  Keep this in mind since our natural tendency is to take offense to anything that comes against us.

2)  Redirect Your Anger

If you feel like you are going to explode at any minute take a deep breath, count to 5, and take another deep breath.  The key here is to let it go!  Whatever it is that is causing you to feel this way needs to be dealt with followed by letting it go.  Is it really worth it getting you that upset or angry?  If you really do need to blow off some steam I suggest you go for a run or take a trip to the gym.  That will surely  make you feel better and you also get a workout  all at the same time!

3)  Be Gracious

Some days are harder than others.  Remember that we all struggle at times.  We are not perfect people and most likely have mistreated others when we were having one of those days.  Instead of acting like jerks ourself we could […]

Make One Healthy Move A Day

It’s a new year again and probably most New Year’s Resolutions had something to do with bettering yourself –  Making a commitment to go to the gym, to eat healthier, to be a better person.  Are you still sticking to your New Year’s Resolution or have you already forgotten about it?

 

Take a look at the suggestions below for a fresh start in this new year!

Seven Tips to get you started!

1.  Create a List of Five Things That Make You Happy

Personal happiness has more to do with how you spend your time and what you think about than external circumstances, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.  Prepare a list of the simple life events that make you feel good-smiling at strangers, sipping the perfect cup of coffee, taking a walk with friends. commit to at least one mood-boosting act every day.

2.  Cut Calories, Not Taste

Swap high-calorie ingredients for healthier options, says nutrition and wellness coach Mona Laru.  Try Greek yogurt as a spread instead of mayonnaise, portobello mushroom steaks rather than beef, red peppers on pizza in lieu of pepperoni, and applesauce for your baking in place of more caloric oil.

3.  Quit Waffling on Your Decisions

Washing your hands can help you stop questioning a decision, according to Spike W.S. Lee and Norbert Schwarz, psychology researchers at the University of Michigan. “Cleansing appears to remove not just physical residues, but ‘mental’ residues, such as the concern about whether […]

Three Tips For Healthy Boundaries In Your Relationships

Did you know that privacy concerns are more prevalent now than ever before since technology has made it so easy for us to take a peak into other people’s lives?  What if it becomes too much?  Do you constantly find yourself taking a look at your husband’s text messages or email accounts?  When have you crossed the line and stepped over the boundaries that were set by you and your partner? Did you even set boundaries in the first place?

What can you do to spare your relationship from boundary violations?

 

1. Set Boundaries Early in the Relationship

Most couples discuss their finances, but did you know it is essential that relationship boundaries are discussed as well. Couples have a tendency to wait to discuss the nitty gritty things until something bad happens. This is why it is important to be proactive right from the start. Be open to talk about important aspects of the relationship early on and be sure you both are on the same page with the decisions you make regarding your relationship.

2. Communicate

Communication is key in any relationship. Again, it is important to be open with one another and talk about the important aspects of the relationship and not wait until somebody gets hurt. It may be healthy depending on your relationship, to set aside some […]

Five Ways to Detect Depression in Your Teen

Depression has become a serious problem in our teenage culture. There are many reasons for this trend but it is most important to notice the pressures faced by teens in today’s society. Apart from the pressure from parents to excel at school, teens also face immense pressure from their peers. Teens are struggling with “fitting in” while trying to answer the questions, “Who am I and where do I belong?” Identity is a major factor for teens, they want to associate with others that are likable. It can be quite difficult for a teen if they are unsure about where to fit in or if they are rejected by peers he or she would like to identify with.

Bullying is another factor that has received increased attention. Especially since the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School and the recent shooting at Chardon High School, observations have been made regarding the link between bullying, depression, and homicidal thoughts. According to research, teens that are involved in bullying are more likely to become depressed than teens that stay away from it.  

Research has also touched on the relationship of antidepressants and homicidal thoughts. It has been shown that teens that used antidepressants were more likely to experience suicidal or homicidal thoughts. In the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School, Peter Breggin, a psychiatrist who analyzed the massacre at Columbine, revealed that side effects of anti-depressants may include increased aggression, loss of remorse, depersonalization, and mania.

Five Ways Singles Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is here! The day that some people dread who are not in an intimate relationship. Did you know that most people do not know the history of the famous Saint Valentine? Saint Valentine was actually a Christian martyr of ancient Rome! Valentine’s Day did not become associated with romantic love until the 14th century in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer when courtly love began to flourish.

These facts alone should keep you at ease approaching this day! It is a lovely thing to cherish the ones we love but that does not have to be an intimate partner. It can be our family and friends as well.

With the day approaching soon, let’s take a look at some of the things you could do whether you are single or married.

1.  Enjoy Your Family and Friends

  • Take this day to spend some time with your friends and family. Have your friends over for dinner, you could all bring a dish or cook something together. Just enjoy the time together! Be thankful for one another!

2.  Enjoy Nature

  • Go take a long walk on the beach, in the woods, or the mountains. Take some time to get away from the hassles of every day life and enjoy the beauty of nature that you are surrounded by where you live. You don’t have to do this by yourself. If you want, grab a friend or one of your family members to tag along. Take this time to catch […]