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  • Are You Where You Think You Should Be? Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

    Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

Have you ever stopped and said to yourself…I’m not where I thought I would be by the age that I am now? You ever felt like you’ve wasted your time of things that were fruitless? Now that you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s you take inventory of your life and come to the conclusion that what you expected to be by now has not happened. The career goals, the marriage, the baby, the house, the credit score, the travel plans….it hasn’t happened.
What do you do Now?

1. There really is no shortcut to getting your true desires so stop looking for one.

2. Take ownership in the part you played in the delay of your true desires.

3. Refocus on your true desires. Just because it didn’t happen in your timing doesn’t mean it will not happen.

4. Get help. Get aligned with people who will push and continue to push you in that direction.

5. Get committed to really working on your self development mentally, physically and financially.

Fulfilling your real desires is a process. Forgive yourself and those who you believe to have delayed your process. Of course you will feel disappointed. After you cried, talked about it, received help, prayed about it…it is still your responsibility to get up and get focused to take daily action steps towards your real desires.

If you need additional assistance to take action steps to your real desires then call Life Counseling Solutions today at 407-622-1770 to set an appointment with me.

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs […]

  • Rejection Hurts Rejection Hurts

    Rejection Hurts

Rejection Hurts

 If you have ever experience rejection you know how it leaves you…hurt, sad with many questions.

It effects our self worth, self acceptance & how we view ourselves in all relationships. As a result of experiencing the emotional pain we cope by trying to avoid it in our future. In efforts to avoid it we become “perfectionist” & “people pleasers”. We go on a quest for the perfect mate, perfect look, perfect career, perfect size etc. We stop asking for what we want with the goal of hiding and pleasing everyone around us.

How do we release the fears that prevents  us from being fully who we are? The journey of healing from rejection starts with releasing every experience of rejection that you have ever experienced.

If this resonates with you and you desire help in this area call me today at 407-622-1770 to start the healing process.

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of the client. Her goal is to help you explore the negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck and are no longer beneficial. Cherlette will help you replace them with positive beliefs that will help you move towards growth and your desired change. Read more about her here

  • How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

    How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

Are you often asked…WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? Or WHEN ARE YOU HAVING BABIES?

When we are between the ages of 25 -35 we are often asked by friends, family, co-workers and our church family “When are you going to get married?” Once we get married we are asked by the same group of people “When are you going to have children.”

So imagine if you are between the ages of  35-45 and neither has happened no marriage, no babies. Oh gosh, you are made to feel like you have some how failed at life.

The expectation from our friends, family, co-workers and our church family or society in general is for us to get married, have babies and to explain ourselves if we don’t have either or if we have one or the other. It’s like an unspoken expectation of perfectionism.

If you think about it the loaded questions of ” When are you getting married? and When are you having babies? is incredibly personal, somewhat hurtful depending on your specific situation and can be offensive. Lastly  it can make you feel unworthy, ashamed and guilty.

The next time you are asked these two personal questions answer them with a answer that validates your choices .For example, you can say “I have a lot of responsibilities that keep me busy. When the time comes it will happen.

If you want help, guidance, or support for attracting healthy relationships or you find yourself going from relationship to relationship call me today at 407.622.1770 

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of […]

  • What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

    What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

You just found out your teen is self-harming. Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. You feel shocked, confused, and utterly lost. What now?

You are not alone. About 17% of teenagers have engaged in self-harm at least once according to the American Psychological Association.  Often times, self-harm occurs as a way to cope with distressing feelings or situations. Teens who self-harm are not intending to die but are desiring relief. It may seem counterintuitive to be harming oneself as a way to get relief but it is true. Many teens lack the knowledge or skills to effectively cope in healthy ways. Therefore, they turn to self-harm as a way to distract and overwhelm their internal pain with external pain.

Self-harm is common among teens but in particular those in middle-school age groups. There are different forms of self-harm from skin cutting, burning, to head banging or hitting as stated by Mental Health America. Teens may pursue this unhealthy coping as a way to deal with anxiety, bullying issues, or intense feelings of sadness. Self-harming is an incredibly shaming behavior as a result teens self-harm in less visible places such as their upper thigh, arms, or wrists and hide their visibility.

As a parent all you want to do is protect and stop this self-destructive behavior. Here are few steps on how to help your teen after your discovery.

Engage with love not fear tactics

It is important to engage your teen after discovering this unhealthy behavior. 

Dear PostSecret: A Letter To An Assault Survivor

Dear PostSecret: A Letter To An Assault Survivor

“I am so sick of people minimizing my assault because ‘it could’ve been worse'”

http://postsecret.com/#jp-carousel-12116

Dear postsecret,

You are experiencing so much pain, anger, and hurt after hearing the phrase “it could’ve been worse.” Assault is horrible, wrong, and a violation. You do not deserve what happened to you and it was traumatizing. The cutting phrase “it could’ve been worse” devalues your experience. Your rights were stolen in that moment and that is that. It hurts me to even read that this was your experience. You deserve better.

Facts and Effects of Sexual Assault

1 out of every 6 American women have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime according to the rape abuse and incest national network (RAINN). Look around the room and start counting. 1 and 6 American women. In addition, an American is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds. After learning how high the statistics, you maybe feeling some shock. Or, you feel numbness because you are a survivor.

Sexual assault or attempted/completed rape strips a person of every bit of power and control in one moment. A survivor may feel a variety of emotions in the aftermath. Assault is a devastating occurrence and many survivors feel at blame or disgusted with themselves. Every bit of them wants to forget and wash the incident away like dirt off their hands but it is not that easy.

Many […]

  • Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared? Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

    Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma is right upon us. As the hours and days draw closer and closer so does your fears. You have physically prepared as much as possible by putting up shutters, buying water and food supplies, and filling up your gas tanks. But, are you emotionally prepared?

It is important to not only care for you and your family’s physical well-being but their emotional well-being too. Buildings make break and injuries may occur but those things are tangible with a clear cut solution. But, emotional injuries and damages take a lot longer to recover and are much more complicated to fix. Therefore it is important to not only create an emergency toolbox to prevent physical injuries but for emotional ones too. Below are three types of tools to keep in your emotional toolbox in preparation and use for the storm.

  • Distraction tools: these objects will take your mind off the problem to prevent increasing anxiety and panic.
    • Examples include puzzles, books, crafts, knitting, Sudoku, or board games.
  • Self-soothing tools: these objects will give comfort through the five senses if fear or sadness sets in.
    • Touch: stuffed animals, stress ball, a fuzzy blanket or socks
    • Hear: calming or upbeat playlist, meditation guides, or comedian stand up
    • See: snow globe, happy pictures,
    • Taste: mins, warm tea, sour candy
    • Smell: lotions, candles, or perfumes
  • Emotional Awareness tools: these objects are used to help express and release pent up tension or emotions that can be consuming or troubling.
    • Examples include journal, writing utensil, art or drawing supplies

Collect all these items and put them in a box or a bag close by for easy access. […]

  • Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

    Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety|3 Tips to Calm Down

 

It’s a difficult day when people are panicking and lining the streets and stores to prepare for the worst. At this point, you are doing as much as possible for the unknown by securing your home, buying food or supplies, and ensuring you and your family’s safety. However, you are doing all of these things but the hurricane anxiety is not going away.  Overwhelming fear and anxiousness will not help you during this process, therefore; here are three tips to help calm your anxieties while prepping for the storm.

 

  1. Limit your media exposure.

    Your hurricane anxiety is increasing for a reason. Every time you turn on the news channel or check your phone for the latest storm updates, you are re-triggering your worst fears. You are basically pushing the panic button every time you tune in for the latest update. It is important to be informed but it is unhealthy to constantly trigger your anxieties. Limit the number of times you check the news so you are not overwhelming yourself. For example, restrict yourself to three media updates such as one in the morning, afternoon, and night time. You will still be informed without sky rocketing your fears every few hours.

  2. Remind yourself of positive statements.

    It is important to fill your mind with hope instead of “what ifs.” There is only so much you can do to prepare.  Fretting will not magically stop or dissipate the storm.  Therefore, you need to speak positively to yourself as well as actively prepare. Create a mantra for yourself to help you get through the next few days. For example, “I will get through today. I am scared but I am doing […]

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

In an upcoming documentary “Diana, 7 days” Prince William and Prince Harry share their experiences dealing with the death of their mother.“I remember just feeling completely numb, disorientated, dizzy,” William said. “You feel very, very confused. And you keep asking yourself, ‘Why me?’ All the time, ‘Why? What have I done? Why? Why has this happened to us?'”

death, grief, bereavement, sadness, grieve

Dealing with death is never easy. It is not easy two days after the loss. It is not easy 20 years after the loss, as in the case with Princess Diana. Dealing with death is not supposed to be easy. You valued and loved that person and grief is part of losing them.  At the same time, dealing with death does not mean you have to feel constantly overwhelmed, depressed, and lonely.  Here are 4 things to remind yourself as you are dealing with loss.

Support.

First, it is important to remind yourself that even among the tragedy and grief you are not alone. You loved and were loved by this person. Therefore, there is someone else who loved and was loved by them too. Know you have support and seek refuge in them especially if they are trying to deal with the death as well. Do not isolate. It is important to be open and find comfort in people who you trust and feel safe with.

Feel.

Secondly, numbing your pain and compartmentalizing emotions is the solution. As Prince William stated in the documentary there was a part of him that knew about his obligation and duties. At the same time, the other part of him wanted to do […]

Back-to-School Anxiety 

Back-to-School Anxiety | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

You have everything ready and set for your teen’s first few weeks back-to-school. Clothes shopping is done, new school supplies are bought, and lunches are prepped for the week. Everything is planned and perfect. Until you realize your teen’s back-to-school anxiety starts creeping in. The next thing you know, you are trying to calm down your hyperventilating child while coaxing him or her to attend school.

back-to-school anxiety, fear, children, teens, parenting, school, panic attack

Anxiety disorders are one of the leading psychiatric disorders during childhood, according to the Child Institute Children’s Mental Health Report. No parent expects back-to-school anxiety to kick in so quickly or to even occur at all. But, many teens become easily overwhelmed by increasing school work or peer relational issues. Here are 5 tips to help your teen with back-to-school anxiety.

Tip #1: Routine

Teens live in chaos when they are left to their own devices. Therefore, it is important to create or help formulate with your teen a weekly school routine. Routine gives them a sense of order and order will help them calm down when anxiety kicks in.

Tip #2 Discipline

Teens are procrastinators, many if not all are at some point. They might spend the entire day playing but then spend the last few hours of the night cramming.  If a teen only has a few hours before school begins to finish a project or study for an exam then, of course, their fear will sky rocket. Consistent cramming will only lead to high anxiety. As a result, set limits with your teen to help them create discipline and to decrease anxiety.

Tip # 3 Play 

On the other […]

Fighting the Holiday Blues | Life Counseling Solutions

Fighting the Holiday Blues

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Is it really? For many, the holiday season is a somber time where we remember loved ones lost or the scarcity and pain in our lives. Here are some ways to combat the holiday blues.

holiday blues, depression, christmas, alone, stress,

  1. Reach out!

    As human beings we need to be with people. Making new memories is a great way to combat the holiday blues. Don’t have plans for the holidays? You still have time so start making some! Ask around to see what others are doing or create your own event by inviting friends. You’ll never know the fun you could have.Closely related to the first suggestion is this second suggestion:

  2. Lend your time.

    Do some volunteer work! Go serve food to the homeless. Look for ways to brighten someone else’s day. When you do these things you will see the joy in others’ eyes and in turn that joy will return to you. This will also enable you to spend time with others.

  3. Watch some funny movies.

    There is nothing like a good comedy to lighten your mood. Go for a classic or perhaps a movie you’ve seen recently that really had you laughing. The more funny movies you watch the better you’ll feel. They may or may not be holiday related, that’s entirely up to you and whatever will make you feel good.

  4. Read.

    Pick up a good book (or two). There’s nothing like getting lost in a good book. Go to your local library, bookstore, or look online for suggestions on books you can read. Once you have a good book […]