Betrayal

5 Ways To Grieve The Loss of A Loved One | Orlando Grief Counseling

It seems that every time we turn on the TV that we are bombarded with tragic loss.  This can be especially hard if we are dealing with loss in our personal lives.  It is also difficult when the loss does not make sense and/or is unexpected.  We have the entire town of Windermere grieving the loss and honoring the life of their beloved officer and friend, Robert German, who was tragically killed in cold blood in a senseless murder at gunpoint.  We also have the family and friends grieving the loss of his killers, Brandon Goode (18) and Alexandria Hollinghurst (17), who took their own lives that same morning after taking the life of Officer German.  Neither occurrence makes sense to their loved ones.  Neither death can fully be explained in a way that would relieve the pain they are facing at this moment in their lives.

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 There is nothing anyone can say or do to make the pain of losing a loved one go away but there is help in the process.  If you or someone you know is dealing with a loss from a death or suicide here are some helpful tips to assist in healing along the way:

1)   Share your feelings with others.  This is not a time to be alone or to isolate yourself.  There will be moments that you may need to be alone to process the events, to grieve out loud and listen to your own thoughts and feelings, but isolation does not assist in the long run.   Avoiding the company of others or not sharing your feelings keep you stuck and can cause you to fall into […]

6 Ways to Combat Holiday Social Anxiety | Orlando Social Anxiety Counseling

Halloween has come and gone and now we are starting to see Christmas trees, Santa Clauses, and retailers decking the halls with sales and specials. Thanksgiving has gotten lost amongst the hustle and bustle of it all, which means one thing: The Holidays are upon us. The Holidays are a time when people enjoy Christmas parties, family gatherings and work events. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, right? Well, not for someone suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder.

Orlando Social Counseling

The Holidays can be one of the most stressful times of the year for someone who suffers from Social Anxiety. This may even be a time that he or she finds dreadful. Here are Six Ways to Combat Social Anxiety During the Holidays and make this season a merry one.

Six Ways to Combat Social Anxiety During the Holidays

1) Inform Yourself: Anxiety comes from the unknown: “Who will be at this party?” “What if everyone thinks I’m stupid for bringing this gift? What are we even supposed to bring?” “What time is everyone showing up?” If you ask the host these questions and get this information beforehand, it may alleviate a lot of that anxiety.

2) Stick with the least threatening situations: If you are the most comfortable at a small family gathering or an intimate dinner rather than the annual corporate Christmas party, then go to those events. You do NOT have to go to every event that you are invited to, but you DO need to remain social during the holidays. Avoidance will only fuel your social anxiety.

3) Avoid/Limit alcohol: You may think that a few glasses of wine may help calm your nerves, […]

7 Ways To Stay Sober When Traveling | Addiction | Life Counseling Solutions

Have you heard the old adage that “when the cat is away the mice will play?” When children are left unsupervised it doesn’t take long for them to find, or create, a little mischief. Who can blame them? Our brains quickly process the situation: no one’s around, this doesn’t happen too often, let’s take advantage of this opportunity and have some fun. As we grow out of childhood and even adolescence into young adulthood, not a lot changes in regards to “opportunistic situations.” For some men, and perhaps women as well, the struggle to not view pornography while at home or throughout the week in daily routine can be a real internal struggle. Now take that same individual and send them out-of-town to work and you have a potentially hazardous situation. Here are seven healthy tips that should help protect you when leaving the comforts of home for work in another city or country.global_professional-career-dining-etiquette-business-dinner-iStk

  • Everyone who struggles with pornography addiction or any other sexual compulsivity should have an accountability partner. If you don’t have one, get one! If you can’t find one, I’ll be yours until you can. Inform him or her of your work trip plans and increase the number of contacts over this period of time. This will help you to not take this trip in isolation, which can be a disaster if you’re in the hotel room all by yourself.
  • Try and book a hotel that doesn’t offer HBO type channels or offer pornographic videos. If you can’t find one simply request that the television be removed for the duration of your stay. Nothing is more important than your sobriety. Another option is to […]

3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Single | Singles Counseling & Therapy

girls night out 2I took nearly two hours to get ready for a fun night with my single girlfriends.  My Michael Kors outfit was fab, my makeup was spotless, and the compliments were overflowing from my girlfriends.  We were going to paint the town red, or at least that was the plan. But on that particular night I felt empty and more so than usual.  I was looking for acceptance, validation, and recognition, but not from my girlfriends. I was hoping that my Prince Charming would magically appear and whisk me away into the sunset. HE never showed up! My expectations weren’t much after all; I was only asking for a half decent looking guy with a pulse. Was that too much to ask for? Years later, I realized it was too little to ask for.

Hindsight is 20/20. I wish I had the self-love, self-worth, and self-confidence that I do today.  Why isn’t this a high school graduation requirement?  Why aren’t children taught the meaning of self-respect and self-love before they are taught Algebra I (which most won’t use anyway)?  The truth is I can’t go back in time and whisper to myself, “love yourself Joann, you are good enough.” I struggled and felt empty.  But what was I truly missing if love wasn’t the answer?girls night out 5

1. I was missing a positive inner voice.  I was too busy focusing on what others said, waiting for them to affirm what I should have already known.  I was good enough, worthy enough, and beautiful enough that night and every other night for that matter.  […]

Three Tips For Healthy Boundaries In Your Relationships

Did you know that privacy concerns are more prevalent now than ever before since technology has made it so easy for us to take a peak into other people’s lives?  What if it becomes too much?  Do you constantly find yourself taking a look at your husband’s text messages or email accounts?  When have you crossed the line and stepped over the boundaries that were set by you and your partner? Did you even set boundaries in the first place?

What can you do to spare your relationship from boundary violations?

 

1. Set Boundaries Early in the Relationship

Most couples discuss their finances, but did you know it is essential that relationship boundaries are discussed as well. Couples have a tendency to wait to discuss the nitty gritty things until something bad happens. This is why it is important to be proactive right from the start. Be open to talk about important aspects of the relationship early on and be sure you both are on the same page with the decisions you make regarding your relationship.

2. Communicate

Communication is key in any relationship. Again, it is important to be open with one another and talk about the important aspects of the relationship and not wait until somebody gets hurt. It may be healthy depending on your relationship, to set aside some […]

Five Ways to Detect Depression in Your Teen

Depression has become a serious problem in our teenage culture. There are many reasons for this trend but it is most important to notice the pressures faced by teens in today’s society. Apart from the pressure from parents to excel at school, teens also face immense pressure from their peers. Teens are struggling with “fitting in” while trying to answer the questions, “Who am I and where do I belong?” Identity is a major factor for teens, they want to associate with others that are likable. It can be quite difficult for a teen if they are unsure about where to fit in or if they are rejected by peers he or she would like to identify with.

Bullying is another factor that has received increased attention. Especially since the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School and the recent shooting at Chardon High School, observations have been made regarding the link between bullying, depression, and homicidal thoughts. According to research, teens that are involved in bullying are more likely to become depressed than teens that stay away from it.  

Research has also touched on the relationship of antidepressants and homicidal thoughts. It has been shown that teens that used antidepressants were more likely to experience suicidal or homicidal thoughts. In the 1999 shooting at Columbine High School, Peter Breggin, a psychiatrist who analyzed the massacre at Columbine, revealed that side effects of anti-depressants may include increased aggression, loss of remorse, depersonalization, and mania.

5 Destructive Relationship Patterns

Listed below are five distinct types of harmful relationships.  As you read through this list, you might find that your relationship with someone contains all five characteristics, or you may identify with only one or two.  Please understand that if you experience even one of these patterns consistently in your relationship with someone, the behavior will cause harm to both you and your relationship if left unaddressed.

WHEN DOES A RELATIONSHIP BECOME DESTRUCTIVE?

  1. One or both parties commit physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse upon the other.
  2. One person is regularly overprotective, overbearing, or both toward the other.
  3. One person is overdependent upon the other to affirm his or her personal value and worth, to meet all of his or her needs, and to make most of his or her decisions.
  4. One person demonstrates a pattern of deceiving the other through lying, hiding, pretending, misleading, or twisting information to make something appear other than what it is.
  5. One person exhibits chronic indifference, neglect, or both toward the thoughts, feelings, or well-being of the other.

Keep in mind that we are all capable of doing these things.  What makes these actions destructive is their repetitive pattern, as well as lack of awareness, lack of remorse, and lack of significant change.  This distinction should not minimize the destructiveness of […]

5 Healthy Break Up Do’s and Don’ts

Most people have experienced a break-up in their lifetime.  Recently, the entertainment news spotlighted Kim Kardashian’s break-up after 72 days of marriage and Zooey Deschanel split from her husband of only two years!  Break-ups can be traumatic and difficult to get over for most people, so just how can individuals move through a break-up in a healthy way?

5 Healthy Break Up Do’s and Don’ts 

1)  Do break up in person vs. Don’t break up via text or e-mail

  • Address your partner face-to-face so he/she can have a clear understanding of why you want out of the relationship.

2)  Do be honest and direct vs. Don’t lie to him/her

  • Don’t beat around the bush on why you want to call it quits.  He/she deserves to know exactly why you’re unhappy.  Plus, you may help him/her change a behavioral pattern down the line.

3)  Do break up before you stray vs. Don’t drag it out

  • Avoid jumping from one relationship to the next and avoid the guilt and drama that come along with cheating by recognizing when it’s time to let go, and then actually letting go.  It’s also a good idea to give yourself some space before you move on to the next one.

4)  Do express your feelings in “safe” ways vs. Don’t try to get rid of the feelings through destructive ways (i.e. drinking, etc.)

  • Don’t run from your feelings, feel your feelings and process them with “safe” people.

5)  Do celebrate your self-worth vs. Don’t do too much

  • Remind yourself about all of your accomplishments.  Remember not to be defined by your breakup.

 

5 Ways To Deal With Betrayal | Affair Recovery | Orlando Therapy

One thing most people never dream of is their partner betraying them!  Yet, unfortunately, it seems to be the popular topic of conversations these days because of celebrities and their relationships.  Most recently in the spotlight, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, who have been married for 6 years now, might be separating due to Kutcher’s apparent unfaithfulness.  How do you handle unfaithfulness in your relationship?

  Let’s take a look at some tips that might be helpful to you.

1)  Allow Yourself To Grieve

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being upset about what happened.  It would be worse if you were to suppress your feelings and act like it didn’t bother you at all.  Take the time that you need to grieve.  It is ok to cry and let your feelings out.

2)  Seek Support

Talk to a close friend of yours, a close family member, or even seek out a counselor.  This gives you an opportunity to share your experience while being in a safe environment.  Talking to someone else will also enable you to look at the situation from a different perspective, hearing what your friend, family member or counselor has to say about your situation.

3)  Forgive

Forgiving your partner does not mean you have to get back together with him/her. Forgiving simply means that you acknowledge […]

Four Ways To Deal With Guilt

Burdened with feelings of guilt?  Have you done something to cause hurt to your friend or spouse?  Let’s take a look at what you can do when those feelings start to take over your whole being.

 

 1) Pay Attention to the Feelings

  • Guilt is simply a sign telling your conscience that something is wrong.
  • Embrace your feelings, feeling guilty can be a good thing, there is a reason as to why we feel guilty.

2) Determine the Source

  • Are you feeling guilty because you have done or said something that may have caused hurt to someone or are you feeling guilty because you ate too much chocolate today?
  • The ultimate question is:  Are your feelings appropriate?  Do you feel guilty because you really did something morally wrong or are you feeling guilty for something that has no rational purpose?

True Guilt

  • True Guilt means that you feel guilty for a good reason.  You probably have caused hurt to someone close to you.

If that is the case, you have to ask yourself what you can do to fix the problem.  What can you do to receive forgiveness from your friend or spouse?

If for some reason you are not able to apologize […]