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Halloween: Trick or Drink OR Trick or Treat?

Halloween: Trick or Drink… I mean treat!

If we search Halloween party ideas what do we find?  

  • “Drunk Party Ideas”
  • “Best Halloween Cocktails”
  • “Halloween Games with Rules to Get You Wasted”…

Here are some facts that don’t pop up:

  • According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, last year over 43 percent of all motor vehicle deaths involved drunk driving on Halloween night.  
  • In 2013, 26 percent of all pedestrian fatalities on Halloween night involved a drunk driver, according to NHTSA.
  • Halloween ranks as the third-deadliest day of the year for pedestrians, according to the NHTSA data, which examined 25 years of data to determine the most dangerous days.
  • Halloween is also in third place of the most dangerous day on the road for drivers (Christmas and New Years are first and second).

Several reasons explain why these tragedies may be occurring.   A law enforcement officer described in a recent interview how more pedestrians and impaired drivers are on the road.  Sadly, because of this there are more accidents and fatalities.  Children are amped up on sugar, parents may be under the influence not completely aware of what’s going on, and others drink and drive their children to different events.  

Instead of making risky decisions that place ourselves and others in jeopardy, there are many ways to take precautions that won’t end with serious consequences.

If we choose to drink during this […]

  • How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

    How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

As a supportive friend, helpful family member, or reliable employee you are the one everyone goes to when in need. The fixer, advice giver, helper. At the same time, you feel exhausted, irritable, anxious, and stressed out. You find yourself run down because your energy is always spent on others. What you really crave is a healthy balance between helping others and caring for yourself. You want the freedom to say no instead of feeling obligated and guilty. It is possible to create a sense of balance for yourself. Here are four steps to implement to help you balance between helping others and caring for yourself.

First step: Stop “Yes-Vomiting”

You have heard of the phrase word-vomiting, now apply it the word yes. The only way to begin taking care of yourself is to stop over-committing. Your automatic reaction may be to say yes even if your gut says no. Or, you pick up a phone call or respond to a text message without giving a second thought to the so-called “emergencies.” Give yourself some time before throwing yourself at every opportunity. 

For example: ask for a day or two to consider the request or task before agreeing. Or, wait an hour or the end the day before responding to the “crisis” text message or call.  Many times people will resolve their own problems if you just give it time. In addition, you are honoring yourself by giving some thought and time before committing.

Second step: Evaluate

As Lysa Terkeurst states in her book “The Best Yes” […]

Dealing With In-Laws Who Do Not Seem To Accept You

Is it normal to want to be accepted by your in-laws?

Not feeling accepted by your mother and father in-law can bring complications, causing you to feel rejected and uncomfortable around them. If you think about it you’re joining into a family with a long history of established bonds. Realistically it can feel like you are the outsider especially when your in-laws have a strong bond with your spouse’s Ex.

If your relationship with your own parents is strong and in-tact the one with your mother and father in-law may never measure up. Don’t make the assumption that the same relationship you have with your parents you will have with your mother and father in law.

Rejection by in laws is emotionally hard. In reality you may never be accepted by your in laws the most important factor in resolving problems of acceptance by in-laws is your spouse’s support.

 When it comes to dealing with  in-laws who do not seem to accept you, here are 3 tools to remember:

1. Loving your spouse includes honoring his or her parents.

2. Validate your spouse’s feelings when he/she shares their perception of a situation that took place with your parents/ in-laws.

3. Don’t hold negative feelings towards your spouse based on your in laws actions towards you.

If this situation resonates with you and you want guidance, advice or support call me today 407.230.4582 or 407.622.1770 or email cherlette@lifecounselingsolutions.com

  • Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions

    Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions

Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions

Emotional Regulation

Five Things To Regulate Your Emotions 

Our emotions deeply affect our actions, even when we are not aware of them. When we feel jealous, angry or rejected we are likely dealing with whatever stressors we have by suppressing our emotions. On the other hand, when we constantly worry and pre-occupy ourselves to avoid our feelings, we are surviving in a dysfunctional manner leading to anxiety and depression.

With emotional regulation, we must know the difference between Avoiding and Admitting our true feelings. Avoiding leads to more unwanted actions. Admitting leads to more self-awareness and more fulfillment in life.

5 things to keep in mind when you take the brave steps to regulate your emotions:

1.  Be mindful of current emotions.

2.  Label your emotions.

3.  Accept when things can’t change.

4.  Recognize and Cope with stress in a positive way.

5.  Accept that its ok to take a time out.

Emotional Regulation is all apart of Self-Care. Self-Care includes looking inward for happiness, validation and self-acceptance. Remember thoughts are not facts.

Orlando blended family and weightloss Counseling

Cherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of the client. Her goal is to help you explore the negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck and are no longer beneficial.  Cherlette will help you replace them with positive beliefs that will help you move towards growth and your desired change. Read more about her here…

 

By |September 12th, 2017|Articles|0 Comments
  • Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared? Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

    Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma is right upon us. As the hours and days draw closer and closer so does your fears. You have physically prepared as much as possible by putting up shutters, buying water and food supplies, and filling up your gas tanks. But, are you emotionally prepared?

It is important to not only care for you and your family’s physical well-being but their emotional well-being too. Buildings make break and injuries may occur but those things are tangible with a clear cut solution. But, emotional injuries and damages take a lot longer to recover and are much more complicated to fix. Therefore it is important to not only create an emergency toolbox to prevent physical injuries but for emotional ones too. Below are three types of tools to keep in your emotional toolbox in preparation and use for the storm.

  • Distraction tools: these objects will take your mind off the problem to prevent increasing anxiety and panic.
    • Examples include puzzles, books, crafts, knitting, Sudoku, or board games.
  • Self-soothing tools: these objects will give comfort through the five senses if fear or sadness sets in.
    • Touch: stuffed animals, stress ball, a fuzzy blanket or socks
    • Hear: calming or upbeat playlist, meditation guides, or comedian stand up
    • See: snow globe, happy pictures,
    • Taste: mins, warm tea, sour candy
    • Smell: lotions, candles, or perfumes
  • Emotional Awareness tools: these objects are used to help express and release pent up tension or emotions that can be consuming or troubling.
    • Examples include journal, writing utensil, art or drawing supplies

Collect all these items and put them in a box or a bag close by for easy access. […]

Blended Families: Boundaries with the “Ex”

Blended Families: Boundaries with the “Ex”

The toxic/vindictive ex-wife or husband that doesn’t respect the boundaries of their relationship with their ex is because they have never really let go emotionally and will hang on for dear life all the while undermining the Ex’s capability to co-parent with them and move on to a new life. It would be nice if everyone involved could just get along, or at least be cordial but we all know that isn’t always the case. Setting firm boundaries helps everyone involved in a blended family situation. Boundaries allow everyone involved to have a clear path with realistic expectations with sharing information and face to face meet ups. The goal of setting boundaries is so that while you are co-parenting you will develop and maintain a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.

Let’s look at what weak boundaries look like:

  1. Fixing his/her leaky faucet, cooking him/her meals, etc.
  2. Having sex with your ex
  3. Loaning him/her money when you’re struggling to pay your own bills
  4. Looking at your ex’s social media posts and photos and becoming angry
  5. Allowing your ex to have/use keys to your home or car
  6. Using your Ex for emotional support in happy or sad times
  7. Sharing banking, email accounts with your Ex
  8. Allowing your mail to go to your Ex’s home/not changing your mailing address

How to set Healthy, realistic boundaries with your Ex:

  1. Make a list of the reasons why boundaries are needed.
  2. […]

By |September 6th, 2017|Articles|0 Comments
  • Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

    Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety|3 Tips to Calm Down

 

It’s a difficult day when people are panicking and lining the streets and stores to prepare for the worst. At this point, you are doing as much as possible for the unknown by securing your home, buying food or supplies, and ensuring you and your family’s safety. However, you are doing all of these things but the hurricane anxiety is not going away.  Overwhelming fear and anxiousness will not help you during this process, therefore; here are three tips to help calm your anxieties while prepping for the storm.

 

  1. Limit your media exposure.

    Your hurricane anxiety is increasing for a reason. Every time you turn on the news channel or check your phone for the latest storm updates, you are re-triggering your worst fears. You are basically pushing the panic button every time you tune in for the latest update. It is important to be informed but it is unhealthy to constantly trigger your anxieties. Limit the number of times you check the news so you are not overwhelming yourself. For example, restrict yourself to three media updates such as one in the morning, afternoon, and night time. You will still be informed without sky rocketing your fears every few hours.

  2. Remind yourself of positive statements.

    It is important to fill your mind with hope instead of “what ifs.” There is only so much you can do to prepare.  Fretting will not magically stop or dissipate the storm.  Therefore, you need to speak positively to yourself as well as actively prepare. Create a mantra for yourself to help you get through the next few days. For example, “I will get through today. I am scared but I am doing […]

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

In an upcoming documentary “Diana, 7 days” Prince William and Prince Harry share their experiences dealing with the death of their mother.“I remember just feeling completely numb, disorientated, dizzy,” William said. “You feel very, very confused. And you keep asking yourself, ‘Why me?’ All the time, ‘Why? What have I done? Why? Why has this happened to us?'”

death, grief, bereavement, sadness, grieve

Dealing with death is never easy. It is not easy two days after the loss. It is not easy 20 years after the loss, as in the case with Princess Diana. Dealing with death is not supposed to be easy. You valued and loved that person and grief is part of losing them.  At the same time, dealing with death does not mean you have to feel constantly overwhelmed, depressed, and lonely.  Here are 4 things to remind yourself as you are dealing with loss.

Support.

First, it is important to remind yourself that even among the tragedy and grief you are not alone. You loved and were loved by this person. Therefore, there is someone else who loved and was loved by them too. Know you have support and seek refuge in them especially if they are trying to deal with the death as well. Do not isolate. It is important to be open and find comfort in people who you trust and feel safe with.

Feel.

Secondly, numbing your pain and compartmentalizing emotions is the solution. As Prince William stated in the documentary there was a part of him that knew about his obligation and duties. At the same time, the other part of him wanted to do […]

Back-to-School Anxiety 

Back-to-School Anxiety | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

You have everything ready and set for your teen’s first few weeks back-to-school. Clothes shopping is done, new school supplies are bought, and lunches are prepped for the week. Everything is planned and perfect. Until you realize your teen’s back-to-school anxiety starts creeping in. The next thing you know, you are trying to calm down your hyperventilating child while coaxing him or her to attend school.

back-to-school anxiety, fear, children, teens, parenting, school, panic attack

Anxiety disorders are one of the leading psychiatric disorders during childhood, according to the Child Institute Children’s Mental Health Report. No parent expects back-to-school anxiety to kick in so quickly or to even occur at all. But, many teens become easily overwhelmed by increasing school work or peer relational issues. Here are 5 tips to help your teen with back-to-school anxiety.

Tip #1: Routine

Teens live in chaos when they are left to their own devices. Therefore, it is important to create or help formulate with your teen a weekly school routine. Routine gives them a sense of order and order will help them calm down when anxiety kicks in.

Tip #2 Discipline

Teens are procrastinators, many if not all are at some point. They might spend the entire day playing but then spend the last few hours of the night cramming.  If a teen only has a few hours before school begins to finish a project or study for an exam then, of course, their fear will sky rocket. Consistent cramming will only lead to high anxiety. As a result, set limits with your teen to help them create discipline and to decrease anxiety.

Tip # 3 Play 

On the other […]

5 Tips to Help your Teen Sleep

5 Tips to Help your Teen Sleep| Orlando Teen Counseling

Coming out of vacation and starting school is tough. What is even tougher is regulating your teen back into a healthy sleeping schedule. No school and infinite play time mean staying up into the wee hours of the night. Teens typically sleep about 7 and 7 ¼ hours of sleep but most of them need 9 and 9 ½ hours. During vacation, teens have ample time to fill up their sleep need but once school starts it is the first to go. Therefore, as a parent, it is imperative to help your child start school on the right side of the bed. Here are 5 tips to help regulate your teen’s sleep.

teen sleep, back to school, healthy, counseling, orlando, winter park

1. Start early and gradually:

Do not wait until the day before school to implement your teen’s sleep schedule. Your teen has been staying up for the past week or months until 1 am or later. Their bodies will not magically fall into timely tired and wake patterns. As a result, encourage or even enforce earlier and earlier bedtimes as school is approaching to help teen sleep. Do not budge even if it is the weekend!

2. Eliminate screen time

Remove all electronic devices from your teen an hour or two before bedtime. Lights emitted by devices can jolt the body into wake mode and delay natural hormonal releases to help sleep. Often times, teens will gravitate to their devices to pass time hoping to feel tired. What they do not realize is that the tool they […]

By |August 9th, 2017|Articles|0 Comments