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  • How to Make a Happy New Year How to Make a Happy New Year

    How to Make a Happy New Year

How to Make a Happy New Year

How to Make a Happy New Year and Accomplish your Goals!

Happy New Year! Let’s analyze this expression that we hear and say so often. Happy. That’s the goal for the New Year isn’t it? I mean, we have goals and New Year’s Resolutions but the ultimate goal that we aim to achieve if we achieve our goals is that first word, happy, right? 2nd word, New. Yes, renewal. NEW. We’re done with the old: old ways of thinking, feeling, old way of looking, old habits. New! New is what we want! Year. Yes, we have one year to make this happen. (Only one year? We better get started!) This is the YEAR to make it all happen! So how? We often give up on our resolutions after a few weeks, so how do we keep them going strong for a whole year? These tips and tricks can help you have a truly Happy and truly New Year.

 

Commit and re-commit.

Commit to your goal. No matter what it is, commit. How? Every single day commit to your goal in three ways: first, define the goal. My goal is _____________. This keeps the goal fresh in your mind DAILY. Second, imagine what it would be like to have the goal. Feels good doesn’t it? Third, imagine NOT having the goal done. Ask yourself, how would I feel for this year to end and not have achieved this? If it’s not a big deal you may have to re-evaluate your goal. It’s important to do this daily so you don’t (conveniently) forget your goal one day.

There are no short cuts.

Success doesn’t happen overnight. Success is the accumulation […]

3 Things to Consider after a Break Up

3 Things to Consider after a Break Up

by Cherlette McCullough

You’re single now. Has it been really difficult to move on after the break up? Have you found yourself consumed with your Exe’s life? Break ups are hard emotionally. No matter what kind of relationship whether it was short term or long term. Here are three tips to use quickly after the break up.

Exes can’t be your Friend after the Break Up

Being friends with your ex can be extremely confusing for one of you or both. This type of friendship is different because it started as a physical relationship. These relationships often make you stay in the past resulting in you not moving on to the right relationship that you deserve. When it’s over; let it go.

Delusions after the Break Up

Stalking your ex by going to their social media pages, calling their family asking about them and their new love interest, showing up to places at times you know they are there, making excuses to call them, making situations with the children bigger than they are for attention. All of these will keep you stuck. It’s important to know if your ex has moved on its time for you to shift your focus to you and your children…not the ex and their new love interest. Also because you have custody or more time with children it may seem like your ex has more free time, but that doesn’t mean that your life is less full filling. You too can have friends to go out to functions and enjoy yourself. It’s time to let those delusions go and get into reality and live.

You may be Single but you […]

Fighting the Holiday Blues | Life Counseling Solutions

Fighting the Holiday Blues

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Is it really? For many, the holiday season is a somber time where we remember loved ones lost or the scarcity and pain in our lives. Here are some ways to combat the holiday blues.

holiday blues, depression, christmas, alone, stress,

  1. Reach out!

    As human beings we need to be with people. Making new memories is a great way to combat the holiday blues. Don’t have plans for the holidays? You still have time so start making some! Ask around to see what others are doing or create your own event by inviting friends. You’ll never know the fun you could have.Closely related to the first suggestion is this second suggestion:

  2. Lend your time.

    Do some volunteer work! Go serve food to the homeless. Look for ways to brighten someone else’s day. When you do these things you will see the joy in others’ eyes and in turn that joy will return to you. This will also enable you to spend time with others.

  3. Watch some funny movies.

    There is nothing like a good comedy to lighten your mood. Go for a classic or perhaps a movie you’ve seen recently that really had you laughing. The more funny movies you watch the better you’ll feel. They may or may not be holiday related, that’s entirely up to you and whatever will make you feel good.

  4. Read.

    Pick up a good book (or two). There’s nothing like getting lost in a good book. Go to your local library, bookstore, or look online for suggestions on books you can read. Once you have a good book […]

Real talk on Sexual Assault versus Trump’s “locker room talk” | Orlando Sexual Abuse Counseling

Real talk on Sexual Assault versus Trump’s “locker room talk” | Orlando Sexual Assault Counseling

The head-line this week was all about Trump’s leaked conversation with Billy Bush in 2005. A large group of people consider Trump’s words to be deemed as sexual assault while others consider it just “locker room talk”. A recent article by CNN titled “Trump’s ‘locker room talk’ stirs real talk about sexual violence” highlighted the domino effects Trump’s conversation had on several women. In the article, women tweeted story after story of their first sexual assault experiences.

According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), every 109 seconds, another person experiences sexual assault and one out of every six women has been a victim of attempted/completed rape in her lifetime. Trump’s conversation may have been just “locker room talk” but sexual assault is very real for many people, particularly women.

Sexual assault is a devastating and tragic occurrence that happens more frequently than what most people realize. People who have been sexually assaulted often times want to forget and move past the incident without letting it affect their lives. However, there is a series of long-term effects that can occur to individuals that have been sexually assaulted.

Here are just a few long-term effects:

  • Have more likelihood to use drugs than the general public
    • One way people choose to cope after a sexual assault incident is to numb themselves from the pain or […]

5 Ways to Better Self-Care | Orlando Individual Therapy

5 Ways to Better Self-Care | Orlando Individual Therapy

I have often heard that we are our own worst critics. I’ve also heard that we talk to ourselves worse than we would talk to own worst enemy! Maybe it’s time to show yourself a little bit more love and respect. Here are five simple things you can do to improve your self-care, to enable a healthier you.

happy young woman relaxing at home, self-care

  1. Get more sleep! Yes, late nights can be very productive but your body and mind need sleep to recover and rejuvenate. You’ll be glad that you did and getting a full night’s sleep will lead to an even more productive tomorrow.
  2. Meditate. Take the time to meditate at least once daily. Clearing your mind can work wonders in your day. It doesn’t matter if you do it before you start your day or at the end of the day. It is a natural way to relieve stress and give yourself a much needed time out.
  3. Laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine. Take some time to laugh! Maybe watch a tv show that you find funny. You can also laugh at yourself. Instead of feeling bad about that mistake you made earlier in the day, try to think of it in a bigger picture and how it looks in the great scheme of events. It’s okay to laugh at yourself. Don’t take yourself so seriously.
  4. Get (or do) a hobby! Working on your hobby has many benefits. It’s a good way to release stress. While doing a hobby you would be able to relax and find some enjoyment. […]

An Open Letter to My (Adult) BFF…on Valentine’s Day

An Open Letter to My (Adult) BFF…on Valentine’s Day

February 14th is usually reserved for valentines such as lovers, spouses and significant others; but there is another relationship that should be recognized on this day of love: your best friend. As an adult, your best friendship looks very different from when you were in high school, but it is just as, if not more, important to have this kind of love in your life. So, whether you are single, dating, married or widowed, take time this Valentine’s Day to remember one of your truest loves.

 

group of friends on beautiful beach at sunset going back to home

Dear Best Friend,

Today, and everyday, I want to thank you. Friendship has changed from when we were fifteen, but I value you now more than I ever have and I don’t think life would be the same without you. Here are a few of the many reasons why you are my BFF.

  1. We no longer have sleepovers; but we cherish the hours we do have together. Back in High School, we could stay up all hours of the night eating, talking, laughing and being silly. Now, we are too tired for all that. Whether it’s due to kids, work, or just life in general, anything past midnight is difficult; but the dinner dates, wine nights, or random hang outs that last just a few hours seem to be more precious. The conversations are deeper and more meaningful. The advice is wiser and the life experience is more valid. So maybe we don’t spend a solid 24 hours together, but the 2-4 hours hold much more weight.
  2. We […]

Fatherless Epidemic | Orlando Marriage and Family Counseling

Fatherless Epidemic | Orlando Marriage and Family Counseling

With Father’s Day approaching I was struck by just how “father” figures are under appreciated in our society. Think about it, do most of us actually recognize all that a father truly embodies to a child? I took this question to the source and I asked my son. I received a plethora of answers ranging from “a love giant”, “superhero” to “booboo kisser” and “my bike rider helper”. These titles may seem childish and somewhat inconsequential at a superficial glance, but with a deeper look these qualities truly are the core of what a father “should be” to a child: a care giver, provider, supporter, teacher, friend, protector.  Unfortunately, there are many children, both young and grown up, who are missing this key figure in their life.

ID-10063601Yes, a mother can, and often will, take on many of these core roles, but research has shown children still need a strong “father” figure in their life. For many the good news is this “father” figure does not have to be the biological father. Realistically, many children who are still in the care of their biological father, are receiving more harm or neglect than good.  Being present, physically is not enough on its own. Many times men who are “not required” to love the child, can take extra steps to be amazing “father” role models.

A recent article on Today.com highlights how imperative non-biological “father” figures can be in this fatherless epidemic.  As the article states caring step-fathers and even boyfriends can be a huge asset to children. Additionally, uncles, brothers, friends, neighbors, fellow church members, etc. can be […]

Signs of an Eating Disorder | Orlando Eating Disorder Counseling

Signs of an Eating Disorder | Orlando Eating Disorder Counseling

Recently, Scandal star Portia de Rossi opened up to Entertainment Tonight about her struggle with anorexia and bulimia. The actress, now 43 years old, did not start battling these disorders as an adult, or even a teenager, but became anorexic and bulimic at the young age of 12. While it is difficult to fathom a 12-year-old struggling with such adult issues, the much too unfortunate fact of the matter is that it is very common for the onset of an eating disorder to begin this early in adolescence. In fact, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, anorexia is the third most common illness among adolescents. Also, 95% of those struggling with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 26 years old.

eating disorder

If you are worried that your pre-teen or teenager may be struggling with an eating disorder. Here are some signs to look out for:

With Anorexia:
• Dramatic change in weight
• Obsessing about calories, food intake, and diets.
• Refusal to eat at certain restaurants or certain foods cooked for them.
• Comments about being “fat,” “obese,” or “overweight.”
• Obsessing over food rituals such as chewing a certain amount of times or eating at exactly the same time every day.
• Withdrawal from friends and family.
• Lack of control with food (binging).

With Bulimia:
• Eating large amounts of food.
• Lack of control with food (binging).
• Going to the bathroom after every meal almost immediately.
• Hiding food in his/her bedroom.
• Using laxatives.
• Scars on knuckles.
• Frequent fluctuations in his/her weight.

There are things you can do to get your adolescent help. First […]

Can Divorce Be Healthy For Kids? | Orlando Divorce Recovery

Can Divorce Be Healthy For Kids? | Orlando Divorce Recovery

Divorce is not an easy process to go through but children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce or at least minimize the child’s exposure to it. Children who live in the custody of at least one well-functioning parent do better than those who are living in high stress high turmoil environments with both parents. The ideal situation for a child is to have two healthy parents working together in a shared custody agreement. As a divorced parent of an 8 year old I have seen firsthand that it is possible to raise a child who is happy and well adapted in spite of a divorce. Regardless of how her father and I felt about each other we made a decision to work together and put her needs at the forefront of our decisions. It has not been easy to keep peace and take the high road because there is a reason we are divorced but I’m glad we have treated each other with respect for her sake. I’ve had to bite my tongue and smile at times but I decided to be motivated by her and not my own pain, anger, disappointment, etc. You get the picture. At first I was concerned about her going back and forth between two homes but she needs both of us and we both meet a different need in her life. The back and forth has not been as much of a disturbance as I had feared. What is important to her is that she has time with both her parents and the divorce although difficult has actually given both of us […]

6 Tips To Help Children Cope With Divorce | Orlando Divorce Therapy

No one goes into marriage hoping that it will end in divorce, at least I hope not. Divorce is never easy, but add children to the equation and you now have a whole new plethora of issues to face. How do I break the news of the divorce to my children? How do I keep my connection with my son/daughter? How do I share my child? How do we divide custody? Every family is going to have to answer these questions for themselves as every family has different dynamics.

OrlandoDivorceCounseling

 

Research has shown there are tips that may help your children cope more effectively with a divorce.

Tip #1: Tell your children why you are divorcing or, at the very least, share with them as much as you are able to. Children often blame themselves or a parent for the divorce, so be prepared for questions. If possible, tell them when both parents are present. Many children need reassurance that they are still loved and they are not to blame.

Tip #2: Be available to listen and always be active in the relationship. Remember, listening is a dynamic sport that takes both listening and reflecting back what you hear. All children cope with divorce in different ways; some may be very inquisitive, while others stay to themselves. Letting your children explore their feelings about your divorce in their own way is important, don’t argue or avoid them. At all times, be patient and involved.

Tip #3: Don’t put your children in the following positions:
-A messenger in parental messages. For example, “tell your father he’s late with the daycare tuition.”
-A weapon between you and your spouse. Children need quality […]