Adults

  • How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

    How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

Are you often asked…WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? Or WHEN ARE YOU HAVING BABIES?

When we are between the ages of 25 -35 we are often asked by friends, family, co-workers and our church family “When are you going to get married?” Once we get married we are asked by the same group of people “When are you going to have children.”

So imagine if you are between the ages of  35-45 and neither has happened no marriage, no babies. Oh gosh, you are made to feel like you have some how failed at life.

The expectation from our friends, family, co-workers and our church family or society in general is for us to get married, have babies and to explain ourselves if we don’t have either or if we have one or the other. It’s like an unspoken expectation of perfectionism.

If you think about it the loaded questions of ” When are you getting married? and When are you having babies? is incredibly personal, somewhat hurtful depending on your specific situation and can be offensive. Lastly  it can make you feel unworthy, ashamed and guilty.

The next time you are asked these two personal questions answer them with a answer that validates your choices .For example, you can say “I have a lot of responsibilities that keep me busy. When the time comes it will happen.

If you want help, guidance, or support for attracting healthy relationships or you find yourself going from relationship to relationship call me today at 407.622.1770 

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of […]

  • 7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School 7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

    7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

By: Janie Lacy

How can anyone explain tragedies like the relatively recent killings in Parkland, Florida to kids? There are a few things that parents can do to address any questions or any fears that may come up in children after being exposed to news reports or conversations from classmates.

 1) Be Flexible

It is important that you realize there is no exact right or wrong way to answer any difficult questions about any of these tragedies. What matters the most is that children know that they can talk to you about their feelings and ask questions (i.e. that it is safe to talk about it).

2) Ask Open-Ended Questions

You want to ask kids open-ended questions such as, “what happened in school today? What did you see today? How do you feel about that conversation? This may help facilitate them expressing their feelings.

3) Maintain Routines

Encourage your child to go to school if they want to stay home. When they are at school with other children and teachers, this can be the best place for them to confront any anxieties. If your child is really upset and wants the day off with you, that is ok too. Just make sure any changes in routine don’t become permanent.

4) Be Reassuring

Use language to distance the child from the tragedy and reassure them that they will be safe at school. You can say things like, “that happened far away and I will do everything I can to keep you safe.”

5) Use Developmentally Appropriate Language

Children as young as 2 can be aware that something is happening, but the amount of information they need still changes age by age. It is not advisable to give them point-by-point explanation of the shooting but avoid […]

Dear PostSecret: A Letter To An Assault Survivor

Dear PostSecret: A Letter To An Assault Survivor

“I am so sick of people minimizing my assault because ‘it could’ve been worse'”

http://postsecret.com/#jp-carousel-12116

Dear postsecret,

You are experiencing so much pain, anger, and hurt after hearing the phrase “it could’ve been worse.” Assault is horrible, wrong, and a violation. You do not deserve what happened to you and it was traumatizing. The cutting phrase “it could’ve been worse” devalues your experience. Your rights were stolen in that moment and that is that. It hurts me to even read that this was your experience. You deserve better.

Facts and Effects of Sexual Assault

1 out of every 6 American women have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime according to the rape abuse and incest national network (RAINN). Look around the room and start counting. 1 and 6 American women. In addition, an American is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds. After learning how high the statistics, you maybe feeling some shock. Or, you feel numbness because you are a survivor.

Sexual assault or attempted/completed rape strips a person of every bit of power and control in one moment. A survivor may feel a variety of emotions in the aftermath. Assault is a devastating occurrence and many survivors feel at blame or disgusted with themselves. Every bit of them wants to forget and wash the incident away like dirt off their hands but it is not that easy.

Many […]

NARCAN: What is it?

Globally, there is an estimated minimum of 190,000 – in most cases avoidable – premature deaths from drugs, the majority due to the use of opioids.

We often focus on the problem so let’s turn that around and look at a solution.  There is one intervention that has been saving lives when it comes to opioid addiction – Narcan.  This device has been saving people from dying from overdoses at a phenomenal rate.   

 

ABOUT NARCAN

This drug is referred to as an antagonist and what it does is reverse the effect of opiates on the brain. It takes someone who has flat lined really “dead” and brings them back to life!

CAN IT ENABLE USERS?

Studies report that Narcan does not encourage use and has actually been shown to decrease use.  This keeps people alive long enough to seek treatment for recovery.  If they died that wouldn’t happen. Data showed last year in the Central Florida and Tampa area, law enforcement alone saved at least 90 lives with it.  

HOW DOES IT WORK?

The way that it’s used is with the person lying down on the floor you place the device in one nostril and push it until the medicine sprays in.  (Similar to any simple nasal spray.)  If the person isn’t conscious after 1-3 minutes then you give another injection.  Each pack comes with two doses.  In the meantime, of course someone must call 911.  

When the person awakens from an overdose generally they’re not happy to be here but they need to be rushed to the hospital.  The medicine only works for a short […]

Back-to-School Anxiety 

Back-to-School Anxiety | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

You have everything ready and set for your teen’s first few weeks back-to-school. Clothes shopping is done, new school supplies are bought, and lunches are prepped for the week. Everything is planned and perfect. Until you realize your teen’s back-to-school anxiety starts creeping in. The next thing you know, you are trying to calm down your hyperventilating child while coaxing him or her to attend school.

back-to-school anxiety, fear, children, teens, parenting, school, panic attack

Anxiety disorders are one of the leading psychiatric disorders during childhood, according to the Child Institute Children’s Mental Health Report. No parent expects back-to-school anxiety to kick in so quickly or to even occur at all. But, many teens become easily overwhelmed by increasing school work or peer relational issues. Here are 5 tips to help your teen with back-to-school anxiety.

Tip #1: Routine

Teens live in chaos when they are left to their own devices. Therefore, it is important to create or help formulate with your teen a weekly school routine. Routine gives them a sense of order and order will help them calm down when anxiety kicks in.

Tip #2 Discipline

Teens are procrastinators, many if not all are at some point. They might spend the entire day playing but then spend the last few hours of the night cramming.  If a teen only has a few hours before school begins to finish a project or study for an exam then, of course, their fear will sky rocket. Consistent cramming will only lead to high anxiety. As a result, set limits with your teen to help them create discipline and to decrease anxiety.

Tip # 3 Play 

On the other […]

  • Warning, Warning!! Four Signs of a Potentially Toxic Relationship Warning, Warning!! Four Signs of a Potentially Toxic Relationship

    Warning, Warning!! Four Signs of a Potentially Toxic Relationship

Warning, Warning!! Four Signs of a Potentially Toxic Relationship

Warning, Warning!! Four Signs of a Potentially Toxic Relationship

You feel devastated, empty, and ashamed. You are yet again alone and obliterated by another relationship. It is already difficult to rebuild after a relationship but what makes it worse is rebuilding from a destructive and unhealthy relationship. But, it is possible to protect yourself from unsafe partners. Here are four warning signs of a potentially toxic relationship.

Too much checking in:

 If you are receiving multiple or successive text messages/phone calls then sound the alarm! The messages could end with emojis or caring remarks but the content is focused on where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing. You want to ask yourself “why are they checking in so much?” If there is not a primary concern, such as a sickness or being emotionally upset, there is cause for suspension. The partner could be insecure and it may show signs of controlling or stalking behaviors.

Losing friends:

“What type of friends am I losing?” and “Why am I losing friends?” You should feel concerned if you are losing friends too quickly or losing close/long-term relationships. Often times, abusive or unhealthy partners want to isolate their victims. When family or friends are out of reach then who is available for comfort? You are trapped with only your partner for emotional support.

Pressure to share things you are not ready for:

Deep and personal questions sought out in early stages of a relationship is cause for suspicion, especially if there is pressure. Pressure to share things can turn into pressure to do things you are not comfortable doing.

Feeling anxious or nervous when your partner is upset:

What does that say about your relationship or partner if you feel […]

When to Clean and Sober | Orlando Substance Abuse Therapy

When is the right time to get clean and sober??

by Jessica Candelaria Lipsey

When is the right time to get clean and sober? Now!  Often times when someone starts contemplating stopping or going into treatment they will come up with a list of various reasons why they can’t.  We frequently hear things like, “I don’t have time;” “I could loose my job;” “I won’t spend as much time with my children;”etc… The list of reasons go on and on.   These are things we hear all too often as loved ones when we are watching someone die right in front of us.  It may be frustrating from an outsider’s perspective but what we must recognize is that this individual truly does not know any other way to live.  One way to have compassion for someone struggling making that step into recovery is to understand that this life is the ONLY normal one to them.

When someone is in active addiction almost everything they do is managed around the drinking lifestyle.  They go to places where they can drink, they hang out with people who drink, or they come home to drink – the drinking/using routine becomes very ritualistic.  Eventually it gets to the point where if one tries to stop they begin obsessing about getting the next drink and then the compulsion takes over where it’s unbearable so they must drink again. Not until intervention is implemented can this cycle be stopped.

Progression of Addiction

The real problem of waiting to stop is the fact that addiction is a progressive disease.  […]

Developing Compassion after Trauma, & Heartbreak | Orlando Substance Abuse Counseling

Developing Compassion after Trauma & Heartbreak

by Jessica Candelaria Lipsey

Individuals who have experienced tragic or traumatic events in their life often struggle with self-hatred or intense shame.  These core feelings prevent self-love and compassion, ultimately postponing healthy, desirable relationships.  Furthermore, if someone has experienced trauma and lacks healthy coping skills, they are more likely to use alcohol or other substances to self-medicate.

Over 80% of individuals with alcohol or other drug problems have experienced trauma or abuse in their past. Part of gaining long term recovery often means working through the effects of trauma or abuse.  This is a process effectively mastered in the counseling setting.  Bringing up any trauma or abuse can be re-traumatizing (if not done correctly); therefore, it is vital to do this with a professional. This is especially true for individuals trying to stay clean and sober, as it can be a major trigger for relapse.

One major component in healing from past trauma is learning how to develop compassion.  Most importantly compassion and love for yourself.  Once we learn how to love ourselves, and accept ourselves entirely, then we are capable of truly caring for others. We can’t fill anyone else’s cup if ours is empty.

Compassion is absolutely necessary in successful relationships.  Let’s say our partner has said something hurtful but genuinely apologized, and we just cannot find it in ourselves to forgive this behavior.  The hardest time to have compassion for another is usually when they have done something unkind.  Hurt people, hurt people; but when someone has hurt us it is helpful to remember they are not […]

3 Tips to Accept your New Body after Bariatric Surgery

3 Tips to Accept Your New Body after Bariatric Surgery

by Cherlette McCullough

After under-going weight-loss surgery a lot of men and women and men struggle with accepting their new body.  After surgical weightloss Most patients struggle with the extra skin, baggy clothes, compliments their not use to hearing, insults from the naysayers etc.  All of which can cause added stress to the already difficult lift style changes. The stress can then cause sadness which can turn to into depression or addiction.  Bariatric patients often times end up back in the situation they were in prior to weight-loss surgery, because they didn’t make the efforts to heal emotionally to what may have been the cause of the weight gain.  Losing the weight is great however; holding the emotional grudges against yourself make it  hard to accept your new body.

weightloss, bariatric surgery, self-love

Here are 3 Tips to Start Accepting Your New Body:

  1. Remember Your Why. Keep in mind why you decided to have weight loss surgery. Write yourself reminders to see throughout the day.
  2. Think of yourself in a positive way. When you start having the negative thoughts; challenge yourself to recognize the pattern, stop it and replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts/affirmations. For example, I am beautiful; I love myself and my new body. I accept the new me.
  3. Do not avoid mirrors or clothes shopping for clothing that fit. Don’t hide in the oversized clothes. Go shopping with a trusted friend or family member. Often times we aren’t able to truly see the weight loss and still try to buy the pre-surgery sizes.  Bring someone with you to help […]

New Beginnings in Sobriety | Orlando Addictions Therapy

by Jessica Candelaria Lipsey

The first step of getting sober is to admit that one has a problem.  Once someone develops the self-awareness of a drinking problem then they are on their way to a new way of life.  Many times, people struggle with the difference between what is alcoholism, addiction, substance abuse disorder, or chemical dependency.  They might wonder to themselves, am I really an alcoholic?  Misconceptions are portrayed frequently in the media and pre-conceived notions from others.   Often times someone might compare their drinking to someone who drinks every day or experiences withdrawals and say, “At least I’m not that bad.”  The curious drinker may wonder– am I really an alcoholic?

anxiety, stress, depression, affairs, betrayal, cutting, abuse, self-esteem, blended family, divorce, anger

Here are some the red flags of a drinking problem:

  • Having consequences directly because of the drinking. (i.e. Repeatedly miss work, family engagements, or school, but continuing to drink).
  • Spending most of the week preparing for partying, drinking, or recovering from the affects.
  • Putting one’s life in dangerous or risky situations when drinking. (i.e. drinking and driving, getting injured)
  • Continuing to drink despite loss of memory aka blackouts

Not everyone who has a problem experiences everything listed above.  The primary concern to notice is drinking despite continued consequences.

Here are some steps to help achieve sobriety:

  • Hang out with other people that don’t drink
  • Call someone when you really want to drink
  • Attend 12 step meetings and do the work
  • Stay busy.. especially on the weekends

If you are ready, you do not have to drink again. You can choose to join the 23 million Americans are in recovery and stay sober, […]