Women and Porn: Not Just a Guy Issue!

When most people in our culture think about pornography and who is accessing it online, their thoughts automatically go to the male population. Would it surprise you to know that women represent 30% of the internet pornography consumers (Internet Pornography Statistics, 2008; Nielsen//NetRatings, April 2005)?

It is time to stop with the “old school” thinking that it is just a “man” issue and take a look at not only the increased activity with women and pornography, but also the impact that it is having on them and their lives.Women have greater access to information, laws and resources that foster sexual health and expression, but we can’t be naïve not to acknowledge these advantages against other realities that women will face.Women today are introduced into a society with more sexually explicit messages that encourage risky and impulsive behaviors.

Here are just a few examples of the powerful influences she will be facing as she surfs the Internet:

  • Sexualized messages
  • Sex crimes
  • Online sexual predators
  • Internet dating services
  • Sexualized cyber bullying which will make her world more sexually distorting, daunting and aggressive than ever before in her early stages of her development

Women as Objects: What They View and It’s Impact

 So how is this happening and why are women becoming more and more consumed with Internet pornography? The sex industry and pornography are gaining greater acceptance and presence in our culture. What use to be culturally unacceptable has it become […]

Pornography and Sex Trafficking

  • Pornography is used as a “tool” to train trafficked children and women so that they will “know” what to do in performing sex acts.
  • Often, the forced sexual acts between the prostituted woman/child and the John will be filmed and photographed and then shared elsewhere.
  • Studies show that pornography users often seek to act out what they have viewed in porn. Often their partners will not engage in such acts, so they seek it elsewhere – increasing the demand for trafficked women and children to be prostituted.
  • Pimps are operating more and more online as it becomes easier to connect with potential buyers and to remain anonymous. Popular websites like and have become “virtual brothels” where one can quickly find prostituted women and children to engage in sex acts.
  • As addictions to pornography increase, users seek harder and harder material. There is a recent boom in the availability of “live” porn as trafficked children and women are forced to perform “on-demand” sex acts in front of web cameras as “Johns” or porn users watch.
  • Porn users do not and cannot distinguish between trafficked women, prostitutes, and porn stars. Pornography fuels the global sex trade by driving demand into the mainstream of society.


3 Ways FaceCrack (Facebook) Ruins Relationships


Are you a part of this social-networking phenomenon? It has been described as addictive and “like crack.” I, myself, have joined Facebook in the last year. I got tired of “why aren’t you on Facebook?” Please don’t get me wrong, I love staying connected with family and friends through the network, however, I have several clients that have ruined the intimacy in their relationship by allowing Facebook to consume their time and energy more than their spouse. According to a recent University of California, Los Angeles, report “the cost of Facebook could be the devaluing of real friendships and the reduction of face to face interactions.”

Let’s define Addiction in its simplest term: Anything that we use or turn to over and over to meet a legitimate need in an unhealthy way.

If you relate with the below, you could be a Facebook Addict!

1.You use Facebook as a distraction and it takes you into a fantasy world on some level. Facebook can give you the illusion that you have many friends and yet does not require […]

Battling Sex Addiction

In a culture obsessed with sex, it might seem surprising that we don’t hear more about sex addiction. However, there is plenty of information for people addicted to alcohol, drugs and gambling. In a culture where sex, like alcohol, is socially acceptable and encouraged, and sexual images and provocation abound, it becomes more challenging to distinguish between normal sexuality and excessive, or abnormal, sexual behavior. However we are becoming better able to understand and treat this sexual disorder.

Sexual Addiction: What is it?

The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity has defined sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” In other words, a sex addict will continue to engage in certain sexual behaviors despite facing potential health risks, financial problems, shattered relationships or even arrest.

Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:

Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands

5 Reasons Adult Websites Can Ruin Your Relationship

There are many dangers to viewing adult websites; it can damage your most important relationship. In the highly publicized divorce case between Christy Brinkley and her now ex-husband Peter Cook, it was revealed that he spent thousands of dollars on adult websites among his extra-marital expenses. In the new movie, “Fire Proof”, the main actor struggles with adult websites. David Duchovny, X-Files TV show main actor, recently admitted to checking himself into an in-patient treatment facility for sexual addictions. The Internet has enabled more people to access pornography in the privacy of their home. Along with that fact, is the realization that it is destroying more committed relationships than ever.
In the book, Back From Betrayal, author Jennifer P. Schneider, M.D., asserts that for some dissatisfied people, fantasizing about affairs is the first step to a real affair. She suggests that the fantasizing process occupies such a large part of a person’s inner world that little energy is left for the marital relationship.
Repeated exposure to adult websites results in a decreased satisfaction with one’s sexual partner, a decrease in the valuation of faithfulness and a major increase in the importance of sex without attachment.

5 Tips: Talking To Your Kids About Infidelity

Tiger Woods recent confession and discussion about his treatment has drawn attention to the effects of infidelity on the entire family.  Unfortunately, Tiger is not alone, couples every year are faced with how to talk to their kids about infidelity.  How much do you tell them?  How should the hurt parent express their feelings about the indiscretions?  Should the kids be told at all?

It is one of the most difficult things to endure when you find out that your spouse has been unfaithful.  If you’re the one that has cheated, you probably realize the amount of pain that has been inflicted on your spouse.  What you may not comprehend is the pain that your child can feel because of infidelity.  This is a crucial time for your children.  It will either be an opportunity to open the doors for healing or create an even more hurtful situation depending on how it is handled.

The following are five tips to keep in mind when having that family meeting to tell the kids what has happened:

1. You want to keep in mind that your kid’s belief of who their parent was can be shattered when they find out about the betrayal.  Therefore, keep away from emotional, hurtful conversations that paint the betrayer as a bad person in front of the kids.

2. It […]