7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

By: Janie Lacy

How can anyone explain tragedies like the relatively recent killings in Parkland, Florida to kids? There are a few things that parents can do to address any questions or any fears that may come up in children after being exposed to news reports or conversations from classmates.

Kids & Tragedies 1) Be Flexible

It is important that you realize there is no exact right or wrong way to answer any difficult questions about any of these tragedies. What matters the most is that children know that they can talk to you about their feelings and ask questions (i.e. that it is safe to talk about it).

2) Ask Open-Ended Questions

You want to ask kids open-ended questions such as, “what happened in school today? What did you see today? How do you feel about that conversation? This may help facilitate them expressing their feelings.

3) Maintain Routines

Encourage your child to go to school if they want to stay home. When they are at school with other children and teachers, this can be the best place for them to confront any anxieties. If your child is really upset and wants the day off with you, that is ok too. Just make sure any changes in routine don’t become permanent.

4) Be Reassuring

Use language to distance the child from the tragedy and reassure them that they will be safe at school. You can say things like, “that happened far away and I will do everything I can to keep you safe.”

5) Use Developmentally Appropriate Language

Children as young as 2 can be aware that something is happening, but the amount of information they need still changes age by age. It is not […]

  • Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions

    Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions

Emotional Regulation | Orlando Therapy | Life Counseling Solutions

Emotional Regulation

Five Things To Regulate Your Emotions 

Our emotions deeply affect our actions, even when we are not aware of them. When we feel jealous, angry or rejected we are likely dealing with whatever stressors we have by suppressing our emotions. On the other hand, when we constantly worry and pre-occupy ourselves to avoid our feelings, we are surviving in a dysfunctional manner leading to anxiety and depression.

With emotional regulation, we must know the difference between Avoiding and Admitting our true feelings. Avoiding leads to more unwanted actions. Admitting leads to more self-awareness and more fulfillment in life.

5 things to keep in mind when you take the brave steps to regulate your emotions:

1.  Be mindful of current emotions.

2.  Label your emotions.

3.  Accept when things can’t change.

4.  Recognize and Cope with stress in a positive way.

5.  Accept that its ok to take a time out.

Emotional Regulation is all apart of Self-Care. Self-Care includes looking inward for happiness, validation and self-acceptance. Remember thoughts are not facts.

Orlando blended family and weightloss Counseling

Cherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of the client. Her goal is to help you explore the negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck and are no longer beneficial.  Cherlette will help you replace them with positive beliefs that will help you move towards growth and your desired change. Read more about her here…

 

By |September 12th, 2017|Articles|0 Comments

Holiday Survival Guide: Tossing the Stress and Gaining the Joy | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

Holiday Survival Guide: Tossing the Stress and Gaining the Joy | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

The holidays can be a blissful time…yet it can also be a time of mounting pressure, stress, and high-time anxiety. Here are a few tips to survive and actually enjoy the holiday season.

stress, anxiety, anger, orlando, maitland

Delegate: You feel more pressure because there is more pressure. Everything does not have to be on your shoulders. Take a load off by delegating tasks that you are willing to release to other family members or helpers. For example, ask your spouse to pick up gifts from various stores while you are at home setting up for visitors.

Limit your tasks: Be realistic with yourself and evaluate your task load. You may want to do everything on your list but is it really possible without losing your marbles or feeling highly irritable. For instance, this year you are hosting Christmas dinner. You may feel less stressed if you are not in charge of making every or almost every dish for dinner as well as setting up your house to host. Limit your to-do list!

Be kind to yourself: During the holiday season people’s level of perfectionism kicks up a notch or two. Remind yourself that everything does not have to be perfect. If you bake a batch of cookies and few come out oddly shaped…it is okay. You do not need to throw away the whole batch and start over. People will still enjoy those cookies. Be gracious and kind to yourself. The holiday season is not ruined if you have misshaped cookies.

Just say no!: Do not be disillusioned into believing you have […]

By |December 8th, 2016|Articles|0 Comments

Beat the Holiday Stress for Blended Families & Time Sharing

Beat the Holiday Stress for Blended Families & Time Sharing

The holidays can be a stressful time for blended families. Whether your family has gone through a recent divorce/separation, or not, it’s easy to become overwhelmed with stress and anxiety about the holidays and making it all work. Here are 5 ways to beat the holiday stress for blended families and time sharing.

blended families, holiday stress, anxiety, families, orlando

Plan

Be open and honest in discussing upcoming holiday events and time sharing. Discuss the time share schedule, drop off and pick up times and locations. Set a doable budget for holiday spending and who will be doing the actual shopping.

Accept what you can’t change

In most cases, one parent may not be able to spend time with the children, due to the time-sharing schedule which can be hard. Be realistic that this is not the ex-spouses fault.  If possible make plans to call, face time or email the children on the given holiday.  Accept that this is not the end of the world you will see the children during your scheduled time.

Avoid Acting Out

Remain focused on the well-being of your children for the holidays. Do all that you can to avoid arguing or saying negative comments about the other parent. You know what conversations could trigger you to act out therefore avoid those traps at all cost.

Gift-Giving

If gift giving is a family tradition, be sure that all the children receive gifts, those living there full time and part time. There should also not be a major difference in the gifts that the children receive. Splitting the cost […]

By |November 17th, 2016|Articles|0 Comments

Overcoming Challenges in Blended Families

Overcoming Challenges in Blended Families

In blended families there are numerous challenges in becoming a family in harmony. The first relationship that must have a firm foundation is between the biological and step parents. In blended families there tends to be issues of anger, resentment and bitterness in the beginning. As step parents face these challenges strife can come in the marriage which in turn causes emotional separation. Below are a few tips that you could implement today to start a new path to bring unity within your blended family.

1. Be Intentional.

Make the decision that the two of you will support each other. In order to do this the two of you must have ongoing consistent communication.

2. No Visible Arguing.

Disagreements may occur, but do not allow the children to see or hear the two of you arguing with each   other.

3. Understanding.

Commit to having family meetings to resolve conflict by having a mutual understanding within the family unit. This can sometimes best happen with a counselor or mediator present, to allow everyone the opportunity to speak and feel heard.

4. Communication.

Be mindful of your communication with your step children and spouse. ie: words and body language.

5.  Understand that you are the step parent and do not need to validate your position.

In place of trying to validate who you are in your step children’s lives, simply show them love and acceptance through action.

Remember, you and your spouse are on the same team. You both want to see the family grow and have safe and healthy relationships. If you find that […]

By |November 1st, 2016|Articles|0 Comments

“Why would you say that?” How to Engage when Offended | Orlando Multi-Cultural Counseling

“Why would you say that?” How to Engage when Offended | Orlando Multi-Cultural Counseling

“You must know Karate.”

“When I look at you, I don’t see color”

“What are you?”

“Why do you sound so white?”

Do these comments sound familiar? If a sudden pang of irritation comes upon you or feelings of offense while reading some of these comments, then you have just experienced a microaggression. What is a microagression? According to dictionary.com, a microagression is a subtle discriminatory comment often unintentional that reinforces stereotypes. For instance, the comments above were not necessarily stated with the intention of being malicious or purposefully discriminatory. However, the receiver of the comments experiences the statement as offensive.  Growing up, I experienced my fair share of microagressions. When the comments occurred, every part of me wanted to lunge forward and shake the person who was making the remark. But of course, I didn’t. Instead, I internalized the remarks while it festered inside of me. Neither behaviors are healthy, but what are the options? Here are five tips in how to engage when offended.

1.     Refrain from being reactive. Anger or rage usually takes over when you may feel insulted, especially discriminated against. However, acting on a knee jerk reaction might lead to an unhelpful and possibly disastrous interaction. Behaviors driven by anger do not bring about change or awareness, which is what you ultimately want.

2.     Take a step back. Start by evaluating yourself and asking the question, “What about the statement was offensive?” When you take a moment to step back and look within yourself, the moment becomes a learning experience to help you in the future. When you are able to evaluate yourself and learn what triggered you, then you […]

By |September 15th, 2016|Articles|0 Comments

How to tell if Anxiety is an issue in your life? | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

How to tell if Anxiety is an issue in your life? | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

According to the national institute of mental, the most common mental health disorder faced by Americans is anxiety disorders. Women are 50% more likely than men to experience anxiety. At this point, you might be asking yourself what is anxiety really? Anxiety is a feeling of excessive fear and worry. It is normal for everyone to have a feeling of anxiousness at some point, but anxiety becomes a problem when it is all consuming. Today I am going to give you four quick questions to determine if anxiety is becoming a problem in your life.

  1. Do I always feel on edge? When you fall asleep at night is it difficult to turn off, instead of sleeping you have racing thoughts about all your worries and fears about the day and the next day. You pray and hope that sleep will eventually overcome your worries.
  2. Do I worry constantly about everyday tasks, big and small? You start panicking or worrying about a small task such as arriving at an appointment on time. A big task that you worry about can be an important meeting. You start feeling anxious and nervous thinking about the meeting, and you keep thinking about it over and over again.
  3. Am I experiencing more or new physical discomforts? The mind is very powerful. You can have nothing physiologically wrong with you according to doctors or blood work, but you still feel pain. For example, you have frequent chest pains, difficulty breathing, stomach issues, […]

Am I dying or is it just a panic attack? | Orlando Anxiety and Panic Attack Counseling

Am I dying or is it just a panic attack? | Orlando Anxiety and Panic Attack Counseling

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you according to my assessments.” the doctor states. After visiting the emergency room, your doctor’s office, and having multiple blood work done, your doctor has just determined that nothing is wrong with you, at least to your body. Then why in the world do you feel as if you are dying at times?

Panic attacks. Panic attacks are what you are feeling. Panic attacks are a sudden surge of overwhelming anxiety, fear, and loss of control. Panic attacks can last from a few minutes or longer.

Listed below are just some symptoms of a panic attack:

  •    Increase heart rate
  •    Shortness of breath
  •    Dizziness
  •    Blurry vision
  •    Chest pains or tightening

When people experience a panic attack often times they will believe they are dying, having a heart attack, or going crazy. You may only experience it once in your lifetime, or you may re-experience it several times. A concern is raised when panic attacks become a frequent occurrence or it is preventing you from living your life to its fullest. For example, you do not join in on certain activities or go out to specific places out of fear of having another attack. Or, you constantly worry or fear having another attack.

Sometimes panic attacks can be a wake-up call alerting you to deeper issues of anxiety. Do not let this fear control you! Call today at 407- 622-1770 for a free 15-minute consultation or make an appointment […]

By |September 12th, 2016|Articles|0 Comments

How to Control the Uncontrollable- Taming Anger

How to Control the Uncontrollable- Taming Anger

Often times we paint anger as an evil and demonic thing that seems uncontrollable. But, what is anger? It is an emotion just like sadness, disgust, joy, and fear. Every emotion is essential to a person in order to function properly. Anger is just another emotion. It is an emotion notifying us that something is wrong. Anger is only dangerous when we let it overwhelm us.

Most people do not have a positive association when they think of anger because of their personal experiences. Often times you witness unhealthy expressions of anger or you experience/enact anger outburst on others. The key to healthy expressions is to not let your anger reach its boiling point. Here are three tips to reducing anger outbursts.

  1. Be aware– Notice what your signs are when your anger is escalating. Take some time to write down a list of physical and mental symptoms of your anger such as pacing, shaking hands, negative thoughts about a person or self.  It is very difficult to implement de-escalation skills when you already reached your max point. Therefore, it is important to know what your warning symptoms to implement these skills.
  2. Timeout– When you are involved in a heated dispute and start noticing yourself becoming increasingly agitated, it is important to call a time out. Ask the individual for a break or time apart to cool down, maybe even setting a time limit for yourself. When your emotions are high logical thinking goes right out the window and that is when you lose control!
  3. Distract yourself– Engage in an […]

How to Set Boundaries For Your Parents | Orlando Teen Counseling

How to Set Boundaries For Your Parents

By DeAnn

Do’s and Don’ts For Parents and Children Going Through Separation or Divorce

No. You didn’t misread the title. Unfortunately, in today’s day and age, more and more children and teens have to be the ones that take on the responsible role of setting boundaries in the family. This is the most common when parents are going through a separation or divorce. Here are some usual scenarios that happen in this family dynamic along with what the parents and kids should be doing.

Scenario 1: Parents are going through trial or legal separation and one parent is dating someone. The opposite parent wants to find out who this other person is; how long they’ve been dating, etc. The parent asks the child to find out for them.

PARENT: Do NOT let your child be your personal spy, this is crossing a line and involving your child in inappropriate behavior. Instead, keep communication open and find out for yourself. If your partner is lying or communication is next to impossible, then implement adult help such as a therapist, lawyer, etc.

KID: Tell your parent no if he or she asks you to interject in a subject you are not comfortable with. This is not disobedience since what they are asking is out of line. Be respectful in your response, but say something like, I do not feel comfortable asking mom/dad about that and do not believe it’s my place to do so.

 

Scenario 2: Parents have gone through a legal divorce and nearly hate one another. Each parent constantly belittles the other parent and talks poorly about one another.

PARENT: Keep in mind that your child […]

By |August 31st, 2016|Articles|0 Comments