• Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage

    Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage

Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage

By: Mike Martinez

Oftentimes you will see men getting angry and exhibit rage-like symptoms. What does this look like? Throwing things, violence, yelling… power? It’s highly unlikely that it will look like sadness. More often than not men will choose to express themselves in ways that show power and control versus the vulnerability and hurt that is associated with depression.

Depression causes us to feel the opposite of powerful and in control. It cripples us. We feel weak. Useless. Weakness and uselessness are unacceptable in our society – especially for men. Depression can be extremely frustrating. In times of frustration we may choose to exhibit anger. This may look like blowing up at friends, family, and co-workers. One reason that we may act like this is because in a way, we’re taking control and power back. If we cannot control how we feel then you better believe we will try to control that other person!

Another reason that is closely related to this is avoidance. In order to avoid feeling our depression we will act out instead. Men don’t want to feel… why would we? It’s much easier to throw something across the room or throw a punch than to throw ourselves into our psyche. We also really don’t want to let anyone in to see what’s really going on (see paragraph above). As men we would like to keep our vulnerability to ourselves, thank you.. not that we have any or anything…

Fear can also be a motivating factor in why depression so often looks like anger in men. We may be experiencing depression that is related to a fear we have. Instead of saying something like, “I’m so awfully terrified of losing you. Please […]

Start Fresh and New Beginnings | Orlando Life Coach

by Mike Martinez

As the new year begins I can’t help but think of the many new beginnings that it will bring. Maybe you’re starting a new job this year. Perhaps you’re moving into a new apartment, house, or maybe even a new city. Maybe this year you’re becoming a Mom or a Dad for the first time. That’s quite a new beginning! Or maybe you’re aching for a new beginning of some sort but it hasn’t seemed to happen yet. Here are few steps to help you open yourself up to the endless possibilities this new year (and your life!) can bring.

anxiety, stress, depression, affairs, betrayal, cutting, abuse, self-esteem, blended family, divorce, anger

Step one

Be open to new possibilities by stepping out of your comfort zone. There are many quotes about the negative consequences of staying in your comfort zone. One of my favorites is, “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” So if you stay in it, you will not grow. It’s that simple. Get out of your comfort zone by taking risks and trying new things: new foods, new places, new people! You’ll never know what amazing things can come from it! So open yourself up!

Step Two

PURGE! New beginnings. What’s the opposite of new? Old. What might you not want or need any more? Old things. Old habits. Old behaviors. Old negative thoughts! Purging can be mental. Get rid of it all – get rid of negativity to make room for positivity. Purging can also be physical – get rid of some of the clutter in that room or closet; (Yes, I know all about that room you […]

  • How to Make a Happy New Year How to Make a Happy New Year

    How to Make a Happy New Year

How to Make a Happy New Year

How to Make a Happy New Year and Accomplish your Goals!

Happy New Year! Let’s analyze this expression that we hear and say so often. Happy. That’s the goal for the New Year isn’t it? I mean, we have goals and New Year’s Resolutions but the ultimate goal that we aim to achieve if we achieve our goals is that first word, happy, right? 2nd word, New. Yes, renewal. NEW. We’re done with the old: old ways of thinking, feeling, old way of looking, old habits. New! New is what we want! Year. Yes, we have one year to make this happen. (Only one year? We better get started!) This is the YEAR to make it all happen! So how? We often give up on our resolutions after a few weeks, so how do we keep them going strong for a whole year? These tips and tricks can help you have a truly Happy and truly New Year.

 

Commit and re-commit.

Commit to your goal. No matter what it is, commit. How? Every single day commit to your goal in three ways: first, define the goal. My goal is _____________. This keeps the goal fresh in your mind DAILY. Second, imagine what it would be like to have the goal. Feels good doesn’t it? Third, imagine NOT having the goal done. Ask yourself, how would I feel for this year to end and not have achieved this? If it’s not a big deal you may have to re-evaluate your goal. It’s important to do this daily so you don’t (conveniently) forget your goal one day.

There are no short cuts.

Success doesn’t happen overnight. Success is the accumulation […]

By |January 5th, 2017|Adults, Articles|0 Comments

3 Ways Men Grieve Differently Than Women | Orlando Mens Counseling

3 Ways Men Grieve Differently Than Women | Orlando Mens Counseling

It’s no surprise that men grieve differently than women. However, it’s important to note that not all men grieve in the same manner. This article, talks a little bit about the male and female models of grief. Here, I would like to quickly present to you some of the ways men may grieve differently than women. Please note that everyone is different and no one fits in a box. What is considered normal for one man may not be considered normal for the next.

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1. Avoidance: Many men who are grieving will turn toward work and keeping busy. Men may do this for two main reasons: one reason is to simply avoid the pain they are in; the other reason is because the expression of such pain is rarely expressed by men due to their own upbringings  and expectations placed upon them by their families and society. This may come off as being insensitive but it’s just the person’s natural tendency.

2. Anger & Rage: Men may also be more likely than women to express anger and rage toward the situation. This again stems from society’s expectations that anger is more acceptable than grieving and mourning for a man. So if a man is expressing anger and rage following a traumatic event or loss, it could be that person’s own way of dealing with it.

3. Do Something! Many men are seen as strong “protectors” to their families. Being protectors, they may have the urge to do something about the situation. Doing something may include things such as starting an investigation about […]

By |October 5th, 2016|Articles|0 Comments
  • Couple, relationship, respect, boyfriend, girlfriend
    How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Respect Me? | Relationship Counseling Orlando How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Respect Me? | Relationship Counseling Orlando

    How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Respect Me? | Relationship Counseling Orlando

How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Respect Me? | Relationship Counseling Orlando

How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Respect Me More?

By: Joann Venant

George has been with his girlfriend, Heather, for over 2 years and is finding that she is more often than not discarding his feelings, throwing tantrums, and using foul language to express herself. He has been feeling frustrated and shuts down whenever she gets into her “negative mode”. George has shared that what attracted him to Heather was her fiery spirit and passion for life but on that same breath he feels that her hypersensitivity has turned from an understanding angle to a disrespectful one where he is being mistreated.

George admits to shutting down the moment he senses her getting upset or when she starts one of her “rants”. He knows this angers her even more but shares that he’d rather not say anything and let her “run her mouth” then say something he’ll regret. He doesn’t want to leave Heather and feels that they can be happy together if things change. How can George get his girlfriend to respect him more?

Establish clear boundaries.

In a relationship you need to always fight fair. Always. There is no excuse for disrespecting someone because you lost your cool. When you establish clear ground rules that are acceptable to the both of you, your disagreements should begin to go a lot smoother and mutual respect should grow. George was being bullied during arguments because Heather used intimidation tactics such as cursing or yelling. George should designate those as major NO-NO’s during arguments and not participate if they occur.

Communicate your feelings.

When you have a partner that over communicates it can be difficult to get a word in yourself. Sometimes your girlfriend needs to be […]

5 Tips For Overcoming ADD/ADHD Without A Prescription

5 Tips For Overcoming ADD/ADHD Without A Prescription

BY: Dwight Franklin, AP

 In today’s world it is very common to address a child’s problematic behavior through the use of pharmaceuticals. While this can be a helpful tool to aid your child’s ability to function and concentrate in school, it is not without its side effects. I have heard many complaints from parents that their child seems to lose their unique personality while taking ADHD medication and/or that they sleep most of the day away. Many others have told me that while the medication helps it does not completely correct all the symptoms that their child is experiencing. I have yet to come across a parent that tells me how ecstatic they were about putting their child on medication even if it was effective. So why do parents go for the medications when they have such anxiety about doing so? It can be for many reasons but the two main reasons are the pressure from outside forces (teachers, medical doctors, family members) or it may simply be that the parent is not aware that there are other ways of handling a child’s behavioral issues. Here are 5 tips that can help a parent have the most success with their ADD/ADHD child.

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  • Cut out all processed sugars!  This by itself can make a huge impact on the behavior of the child. While foods such as cookies, cakes, white bread, and soda are bad for us all, they are especially damaging to a child. As adults most of us have learned right from wrong and appropriate from inappropriate. A child is still learning these things and when excess amounts of […]