• How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

    How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

As a supportive friend, helpful family member, or reliable employee you are the one everyone goes to when in need. The fixer, advice giver, helper. At the same time, you feel exhausted, irritable, anxious, and stressed out. You find yourself run down because your energy is always spent on others. What you really crave is a healthy balance between helping others and caring for yourself. You want the freedom to say no instead of feeling obligated and guilty. It is possible to create a sense of balance for yourself. Here are four steps to implement to help you balance between helping others and caring for yourself.

First step: Stop “Yes-Vomiting”

You have heard of the phrase word-vomiting, now apply it the word yes. The only way to begin taking care of yourself is to stop over-committing. Your automatic reaction may be to say yes even if your gut says no. Or, you pick up a phone call or respond to a text message without giving a second thought to the so-called “emergencies.” Give yourself some time before throwing yourself at every opportunity. 

For example: ask for a day or two to consider the request or task before agreeing. Or, wait an hour or the end the day before responding to the “crisis” text message or call.  Many times people will resolve their own problems if you just give it time. In addition, you are honoring yourself by giving some thought and time before committing.

Second step: Evaluate

As Lysa Terkeurst states in her book “The Best Yes” […]

  • Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared? Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

    Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma is right upon us. As the hours and days draw closer and closer so does your fears. You have physically prepared as much as possible by putting up shutters, buying water and food supplies, and filling up your gas tanks. But, are you emotionally prepared?

It is important to not only care for you and your family’s physical well-being but their emotional well-being too. Buildings make break and injuries may occur but those things are tangible with a clear cut solution. But, emotional injuries and damages take a lot longer to recover and are much more complicated to fix. Therefore it is important to not only create an emergency toolbox to prevent physical injuries but for emotional ones too. Below are three types of tools to keep in your emotional toolbox in preparation and use for the storm.

  • Distraction tools: these objects will take your mind off the problem to prevent increasing anxiety and panic.
    • Examples include puzzles, books, crafts, knitting, Sudoku, or board games.
  • Self-soothing tools: these objects will give comfort through the five senses if fear or sadness sets in.
    • Touch: stuffed animals, stress ball, a fuzzy blanket or socks
    • Hear: calming or upbeat playlist, meditation guides, or comedian stand up
    • See: snow globe, happy pictures,
    • Taste: mins, warm tea, sour candy
    • Smell: lotions, candles, or perfumes
  • Emotional Awareness tools: these objects are used to help express and release pent up tension or emotions that can be consuming or troubling.
    • Examples include journal, writing utensil, art or drawing supplies

Collect all these items and put them in a box or a bag close by for easy access. […]

  • Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

    Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety|3 Tips to Calm Down

 

It’s a difficult day when people are panicking and lining the streets and stores to prepare for the worst. At this point, you are doing as much as possible for the unknown by securing your home, buying food or supplies, and ensuring you and your family’s safety. However, you are doing all of these things but the hurricane anxiety is not going away.  Overwhelming fear and anxiousness will not help you during this process, therefore; here are three tips to help calm your anxieties while prepping for the storm.

 

  1. Limit your media exposure.

    Your hurricane anxiety is increasing for a reason. Every time you turn on the news channel or check your phone for the latest storm updates, you are re-triggering your worst fears. You are basically pushing the panic button every time you tune in for the latest update. It is important to be informed but it is unhealthy to constantly trigger your anxieties. Limit the number of times you check the news so you are not overwhelming yourself. For example, restrict yourself to three media updates such as one in the morning, afternoon, and night time. You will still be informed without sky rocketing your fears every few hours.

  2. Remind yourself of positive statements.

    It is important to fill your mind with hope instead of “what ifs.” There is only so much you can do to prepare.  Fretting will not magically stop or dissipate the storm.  Therefore, you need to speak positively to yourself as well as actively prepare. Create a mantra for yourself to help you get through the next few days. For example, “I will get through today. I am scared but I am doing […]

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

In an upcoming documentary “Diana, 7 days” Prince William and Prince Harry share their experiences dealing with the death of their mother.“I remember just feeling completely numb, disorientated, dizzy,” William said. “You feel very, very confused. And you keep asking yourself, ‘Why me?’ All the time, ‘Why? What have I done? Why? Why has this happened to us?'”

death, grief, bereavement, sadness, grieve

Dealing with death is never easy. It is not easy two days after the loss. It is not easy 20 years after the loss, as in the case with Princess Diana. Dealing with death is not supposed to be easy. You valued and loved that person and grief is part of losing them.  At the same time, dealing with death does not mean you have to feel constantly overwhelmed, depressed, and lonely.  Here are 4 things to remind yourself as you are dealing with loss.

Support.

First, it is important to remind yourself that even among the tragedy and grief you are not alone. You loved and were loved by this person. Therefore, there is someone else who loved and was loved by them too. Know you have support and seek refuge in them especially if they are trying to deal with the death as well. Do not isolate. It is important to be open and find comfort in people who you trust and feel safe with.

Feel.

Secondly, numbing your pain and compartmentalizing emotions is the solution. As Prince William stated in the documentary there was a part of him that knew about his obligation and duties. At the same time, the other part of him wanted to do […]

Back-to-School Anxiety 

Back-to-School Anxiety | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

You have everything ready and set for your teen’s first few weeks back-to-school. Clothes shopping is done, new school supplies are bought, and lunches are prepped for the week. Everything is planned and perfect. Until you realize your teen’s back-to-school anxiety starts creeping in. The next thing you know, you are trying to calm down your hyperventilating child while coaxing him or her to attend school.

back-to-school anxiety, fear, children, teens, parenting, school, panic attack

Anxiety disorders are one of the leading psychiatric disorders during childhood, according to the Child Institute Children’s Mental Health Report. No parent expects back-to-school anxiety to kick in so quickly or to even occur at all. But, many teens become easily overwhelmed by increasing school work or peer relational issues. Here are 5 tips to help your teen with back-to-school anxiety.

Tip #1: Routine

Teens live in chaos when they are left to their own devices. Therefore, it is important to create or help formulate with your teen a weekly school routine. Routine gives them a sense of order and order will help them calm down when anxiety kicks in.

Tip #2 Discipline

Teens are procrastinators, many if not all are at some point. They might spend the entire day playing but then spend the last few hours of the night cramming.  If a teen only has a few hours before school begins to finish a project or study for an exam then, of course, their fear will sky rocket. Consistent cramming will only lead to high anxiety. As a result, set limits with your teen to help them create discipline and to decrease anxiety.

Tip # 3 Play 

On the other […]