• How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

    How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women


When we are between the ages of 25 -35 we are often asked by friends, family, co-workers and our church family “When are you going to get married?” Once we get married we are asked by the same group of people “When are you going to have children.”

So imagine if you are between the ages of  35-45 and neither has happened no marriage, no babies. Oh gosh, you are made to feel like you have some how failed at life.

The expectation from our friends, family, co-workers and our church family or society in general is for us to get married, have babies and to explain ourselves if we don’t have either or if we have one or the other. It’s like an unspoken expectation of perfectionism.

If you think about it the loaded questions of ” When are you getting married? and When are you having babies? is incredibly personal, somewhat hurtful depending on your specific situation and can be offensive. Lastly  it can make you feel unworthy, ashamed and guilty.

The next time you are asked these two personal questions answer them with a answer that validates your choices .For example, you can say “I have a lot of responsibilities that keep me busy. When the time comes it will happen.

If you want help, guidance, or support for attracting healthy relationships or you find yourself going from relationship to relationship call me today at 407.622.1770 

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of […]

  • Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery

    Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery

Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery

Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery

You are excited to be a new mom, to meet your precious little one. The only thing standing in your way is… delivery. You are deathly afraid and anxious about labor. You have a hard time sleeping and feeling calm as months, weeks, and days approach your delivery date. Worst case scenarios cycle through your head and anxiety swells up in your chest. You are so desperate to find some peace. Here are few tips to help you manage and reduce your fear and anxiety about labor and delivery.

Avoid Scary Stories

The worst possible thing you can do is  to swarm your mind with scary birth stories. Researching every possible outcome about what can go wrong is not helpful. You might be more informed, but you will be more fearful. Constant researching will add fuel to the anxiety fire. Limit your time on the internet and direct your mind on what excites and calms you.

Plan with Your Doula or Midwife

Overwhelming yourself with every potential incident that can go wrong is unhelpful. However, being prepared is not. Develop multiple plans with your doula and midwife in case a wrench is thrown into your ideal birthing plan. Having different plans can help ease distress because you know what you are getting yourself into. The plans will help calm anxieties of unforeseen situations.

Create a Mantra

How clearly are you thinking when your emotions are overwhelming you? Do you remember all the helpful tools your read? Are you logically? The answer is no! When you are wrapped up in your emotions or feelings, clarity is thrown out the window. Therefore, it is important to have a mantra you can repeat to yourself or […]

By |January 18th, 2018|Articles|0 Comments
  • What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

    What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

You just found out your teen is self-harming. Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. You feel shocked, confused, and utterly lost. What now?

You are not alone. About 17% of teenagers have engaged in self-harm at least once according to the American Psychological Association.  Often times, self-harm occurs as a way to cope with distressing feelings or situations. Teens who self-harm are not intending to die but are desiring relief. It may seem counterintuitive to be harming oneself as a way to get relief but it is true. Many teens lack the knowledge or skills to effectively cope in healthy ways. Therefore, they turn to self-harm as a way to distract and overwhelm their internal pain with external pain.

Self-harm is common among teens but in particular those in middle-school age groups. There are different forms of self-harm from skin cutting, burning, to head banging or hitting as stated by Mental Health America. Teens may pursue this unhealthy coping as a way to deal with anxiety, bullying issues, or intense feelings of sadness. Self-harming is an incredibly shaming behavior as a result teens self-harm in less visible places such as their upper thigh, arms, or wrists and hide their visibility.

As a parent all you want to do is protect and stop this self-destructive behavior. Here are few steps on how to help your teen after your discovery.

Engage with love not fear tactics

It is important to engage your teen after discovering this unhealthy behavior. 

Dear PostSecret: A Letter To An Assault Survivor

Dear PostSecret: A Letter To An Assault Survivor

postsecret, assault, sexual assualt, survivor, anger, pain, heal. grow


Dear postsecret,

You are experiencing so much pain, anger, and hurt after hearing the phrase “it could’ve been worse.” Assault is horrible, wrong, and a violation. You do not deserve what happened to you and it was traumatizing. The cutting phrase “it could’ve been worse” devalues your experience. Your rights were stolen in that moment and that is that. It hurts me to even read that this was your experience. You deserve better.

Facts and Effects of Sexual Assault

1 out of every 6 American women have been a victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime according to the rape abuse and incest national network (RAINN). Look around the room and start counting. 1 and 6 American women. In addition, an American is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds. After learning how high the statistics, you maybe feeling some shock. Or, you feel numbness because you are a survivor.

Sexual assault or attempted/completed rape strips a person of every bit of power and control in one moment. A survivor may feel a variety of emotions in the aftermath. Assault is a devastating occurrence and many survivors feel at blame or disgusted with themselves. Every bit of them wants to forget and wash the incident away like dirt off their hands but it is not that […]

  • How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

    How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

How to Balance Helping Others & Still Care for Yourself

As a supportive friend, helpful family member, or reliable employee you are the one everyone goes to when in need. The fixer, advice giver, helper. At the same time, you feel exhausted, irritable, anxious, and stressed out. You find yourself run down because your energy is always spent on others. What you really crave is a healthy balance between helping others and caring for yourself. You want the freedom to say no instead of feeling obligated and guilty. It is possible to create a sense of balance for yourself. Here are four steps to implement to help you balance between helping others and caring for yourself.

First step: Stop “Yes-Vomiting”

You have heard of the phrase word-vomiting, now apply it the word yes. The only way to begin taking care of yourself is to stop over-committing. Your automatic reaction may be to say yes even if your gut says no. Or, you pick up a phone call or respond to a text message without giving a second thought to the so-called “emergencies.” Give yourself some time before throwing yourself at every opportunity. 

For example: ask for a day or two to consider the request or task before agreeing. Or, wait an hour or the end the day before responding to the “crisis” text message or call.  Many times people will resolve their own problems if you just give it time. In addition, you are honoring yourself by giving some thought and time before committing.

Second step: Evaluate

As Lysa Terkeurst states in her book “The Best Yes” […]

  • Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared? Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

    Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma: Am I Really Prepared?

Hurricane Irma is right upon us. As the hours and days draw closer and closer so does your fears. You have physically prepared as much as possible by putting up shutters, buying water and food supplies, and filling up your gas tanks. But, are you emotionally prepared?

It is important to not only care for you and your family’s physical well-being but their emotional well-being too. Buildings make break and injuries may occur but those things are tangible with a clear cut solution. But, emotional injuries and damages take a lot longer to recover and are much more complicated to fix. Therefore it is important to not only create an emergency toolbox to prevent physical injuries but for emotional ones too. Below are three types of tools to keep in your emotional toolbox in preparation and use for the storm.

  • Distraction tools: these objects will take your mind off the problem to prevent increasing anxiety and panic.
    • Examples include puzzles, books, crafts, knitting, Sudoku, or board games.
  • Self-soothing tools: these objects will give comfort through the five senses if fear or sadness sets in.
    • Touch: stuffed animals, stress ball, a fuzzy blanket or socks
    • Hear: calming or upbeat playlist, meditation guides, or comedian stand up
    • See: snow globe, happy pictures,
    • Taste: mins, warm tea, sour candy
    • Smell: lotions, candles, or perfumes
  • Emotional Awareness tools: these objects are used to help express and release pent up tension or emotions that can be consuming or troubling.
    • Examples include journal, writing utensil, art or drawing supplies

Collect all these items and put them in a box or a bag close by for easy access. […]

  • Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

    Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety | 3 Tips to Calm Down

Hurricane Anxiety|3 Tips to Calm Down


It’s a difficult day when people are panicking and lining the streets and stores to prepare for the worst. At this point, you are doing as much as possible for the unknown by securing your home, buying food or supplies, and ensuring you and your family’s safety. However, you are doing all of these things but the hurricane anxiety is not going away.  Overwhelming fear and anxiousness will not help you during this process, therefore; here are three tips to help calm your anxieties while prepping for the storm.


  1. Limit your media exposure.

    Your hurricane anxiety is increasing for a reason. Every time you turn on the news channel or check your phone for the latest storm updates, you are re-triggering your worst fears. You are basically pushing the panic button every time you tune in for the latest update. It is important to be informed but it is unhealthy to constantly trigger your anxieties. Limit the number of times you check the news so you are not overwhelming yourself. For example, restrict yourself to three media updates such as one in the morning, afternoon, and night time. You will still be informed without sky rocketing your fears every few hours.

  2. Remind yourself of positive statements.

    It is important to fill your mind with hope instead of “what ifs.” There is only so much you can do to prepare.  Fretting will not magically stop or dissipate the storm.  Therefore, you need to speak positively to yourself as well as actively prepare. Create a mantra for yourself to help you get through the next few days. For example, “I will get through today. I am scared but I am doing […]

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

Prince William and Prince Harry | Dealing with Death

In an upcoming documentary “Diana, 7 days” Prince William and Prince Harry share their experiences dealing with the death of their mother.“I remember just feeling completely numb, disorientated, dizzy,” William said. “You feel very, very confused. And you keep asking yourself, ‘Why me?’ All the time, ‘Why? What have I done? Why? Why has this happened to us?'”

death, grief, bereavement, sadness, grieve

Dealing with death is never easy. It is not easy two days after the loss. It is not easy 20 years after the loss, as in the case with Princess Diana. Dealing with death is not supposed to be easy. You valued and loved that person and grief is part of losing them.  At the same time, dealing with death does not mean you have to feel constantly overwhelmed, depressed, and lonely.  Here are 4 things to remind yourself as you are dealing with loss.


First, it is important to remind yourself that even among the tragedy and grief you are not alone. You loved and were loved by this person. Therefore, there is someone else who loved and was loved by them too. Know you have support and seek refuge in them especially if they are trying to deal with the death as well. Do not isolate. It is important to be open and find comfort in people who you trust and feel safe with.


Secondly, numbing your pain and compartmentalizing emotions is the solution. As Prince William stated in the documentary there was a part of him that knew about his obligation and duties. At the same time, the other part of him wanted to do […]

Back-to-School Anxiety 

Back-to-School Anxiety | Orlando Anxiety Counseling

You have everything ready and set for your teen’s first few weeks back-to-school. Clothes shopping is done, new school supplies are bought, and lunches are prepped for the week. Everything is planned and perfect. Until you realize your teen’s back-to-school anxiety starts creeping in. The next thing you know, you are trying to calm down your hyperventilating child while coaxing him or her to attend school.

back-to-school anxiety, fear, children, teens, parenting, school, panic attack

Anxiety disorders are one of the leading psychiatric disorders during childhood, according to the Child Institute Children’s Mental Health Report. No parent expects back-to-school anxiety to kick in so quickly or to even occur at all. But, many teens become easily overwhelmed by increasing school work or peer relational issues. Here are 5 tips to help your teen with back-to-school anxiety.

Tip #1: Routine

Teens live in chaos when they are left to their own devices. Therefore, it is important to create or help formulate with your teen a weekly school routine. Routine gives them a sense of order and order will help them calm down when anxiety kicks in.

Tip #2 Discipline

Teens are procrastinators, many if not all are at some point. They might spend the entire day playing but then spend the last few hours of the night cramming.  If a teen only has a few hours before school begins to finish a project or study for an exam then, of course, their fear will sky rocket. Consistent cramming will only lead to high anxiety. As a result, set limits with your teen to help them create discipline and to decrease anxiety.

Tip # 3 Play 

On the other […]

5 Tips to Help your Teen Sleep

5 Tips to Help your Teen Sleep| Orlando Teen Counseling

Coming out of vacation and starting school is tough. What is even tougher is regulating your teen back into a healthy sleeping schedule. No school and infinite play time mean staying up into the wee hours of the night. Teens typically sleep about 7 and 7 ¼ hours of sleep but most of them need 9 and 9 ½ hours. During vacation, teens have ample time to fill up their sleep need but once school starts it is the first to go. Therefore, as a parent, it is imperative to help your child start school on the right side of the bed. Here are 5 tips to help regulate your teen’s sleep.

teen sleep, back to school, healthy, counseling, orlando, winter park

1. Start early and gradually:

Do not wait until the day before school to implement your teen’s sleep schedule. Your teen has been staying up for the past week or months until 1 am or later. Their bodies will not magically fall into timely tired and wake patterns. As a result, encourage or even enforce earlier and earlier bedtimes as school is approaching to help teen sleep. Do not budge even if it is the weekend!

2. Eliminate screen time

Remove all electronic devices from your teen an hour or two before bedtime. Lights emitted by devices can jolt the body into wake mode and delay natural hormonal releases to help sleep. Often times, teens will gravitate to their devices to pass time hoping to feel tired. What they do not realize is that the tool they […]