• Are You Where You Think You Should Be? Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

    Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

Have you ever stopped and said to yourself…I’m not where I thought I would be by the age that I am now? You ever felt like you’ve wasted your time of things that were fruitless? Now that you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s you take inventory of your life and come to the conclusion that what you expected to be by now has not happened. The career goals, the marriage, the baby, the house, the credit score, the travel plans….it hasn’t happened.
What do you do Now?

1. There really is no shortcut to getting your true desires so stop looking for one.

2. Take ownership in the part you played in the delay of your true desires.

3. Refocus on your true desires. Just because it didn’t happen in your timing doesn’t mean it will not happen.

4. Get help. Get aligned with people who will push and continue to push you in that direction.

5. Get committed to really working on your self development mentally, physically and financially.

Fulfilling your real desires is a process. Forgive yourself and those who you believe to have delayed your process. Of course you will feel disappointed. After you cried, talked about it, received help, prayed about it…it is still your responsibility to get up and get focused to take daily action steps towards your real desires.

If you need additional assistance to take action steps to your real desires then call Life Counseling Solutions today at 407-622-1770 to set an appointment with me.

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs […]

  • Rejection Hurts Rejection Hurts

    Rejection Hurts

Rejection Hurts

 If you have ever experience rejection you know how it leaves you…hurt, sad with many questions.

It effects our self worth, self acceptance & how we view ourselves in all relationships. As a result of experiencing the emotional pain we cope by trying to avoid it in our future. In efforts to avoid it we become “perfectionist” & “people pleasers”. We go on a quest for the perfect mate, perfect look, perfect career, perfect size etc. We stop asking for what we want with the goal of hiding and pleasing everyone around us.

How do we release the fears that prevents  us from being fully who we are? The journey of healing from rejection starts with releasing every experience of rejection that you have ever experienced.

If this resonates with you and you desire help in this area call me today at 407-622-1770 to start the healing process.

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of the client. Her goal is to help you explore the negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck and are no longer beneficial. Cherlette will help you replace them with positive beliefs that will help you move towards growth and your desired change. Read more about her here

  • How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

    How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

Are you often asked…WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? Or WHEN ARE YOU HAVING BABIES?

When we are between the ages of 25 -35 we are often asked by friends, family, co-workers and our church family “When are you going to get married?” Once we get married we are asked by the same group of people “When are you going to have children.”

So imagine if you are between the ages of  35-45 and neither has happened no marriage, no babies. Oh gosh, you are made to feel like you have some how failed at life.

The expectation from our friends, family, co-workers and our church family or society in general is for us to get married, have babies and to explain ourselves if we don’t have either or if we have one or the other. It’s like an unspoken expectation of perfectionism.

If you think about it the loaded questions of ” When are you getting married? and When are you having babies? is incredibly personal, somewhat hurtful depending on your specific situation and can be offensive. Lastly  it can make you feel unworthy, ashamed and guilty.

The next time you are asked these two personal questions answer them with a answer that validates your choices .For example, you can say “I have a lot of responsibilities that keep me busy. When the time comes it will happen.

If you want help, guidance, or support for attracting healthy relationships or you find yourself going from relationship to relationship call me today at 407.622.1770 

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of […]

  • All About Overcoming Codependency in Women All About Overcoming Codependency in Women

    All About Overcoming Codependency in Women

All About Overcoming Codependency in Women

Do You Have A Relationship Addiction?!

Codependency also known as ‘relationship addiction’ implies a disturbed emotional state of putting the needs of your partner before you. Many women are victims of this codependency which forces them to stay in a self-defeating relationship. The reason is that they are either fearful of being left alone or feel entirely responsible to keep their partner happy. This tendency to please the partner leads to a toxic relationship which often makes a woman get attracted to even emotionally unavailable men. Here are some relevant signs of a woman getting into codependent relationship.

Signs of Codependent Relationship

  • You go beyond your limits to make your partner happy. You even avoid confronting your partner even on imperative issues just because you fear rejection.
  • Are you constantly worrying what your partner would think of you?
  • Has it become your habit to ignore your partner’s dishonesty, jealousies, and possessiveness?
  • Are you ignoring your self-care and even self respect just because of this relationship?

Well, if the answer to all the above mentioned points is yes, then you are in danger obviously.

However, by following some reliable tips, you can definitely come out of this toxic and dangerous relationship state.

Overcoming Codependency

  • If you find your present relationship to be destructive, try to look at your own behavior. You will get to see where you are wrong.
  • There is nothing wrong in being self compassionate. Remember, you are your own responsibility and you do not have to feel guilt about taking own care.
  • It is fine and healthy to take other’s help. In fact, many women have a perception that it is a sign of weakness to take help from anyone else. However, it is not […]
  • journaling, healthy, self-care
    6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain 6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain

    6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain

6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain

6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain

Did you know that affirmations and journaling can be very beneficial to you? Of course, journaling is not just about writing, but it is more about putting down your thoughts and affirming yourself. The following are some of the benefits of affirmations and journaling:

Builds your IQ

It is possible to stretch your IQ through the simple task of journaling. In fact, journaling has been found to be a good way of exploring language and, in the process, increasing your vocabulary. With an improved vocabulary, you will certainly come out as more intelligent than you were before you started.

Puts you in a state of mindfulness

In recent days, mindfulness has become a common prescription for people looking to be happier in their lives. Affirmations and journaling are some of the best ways you can achieve a state of mindfulness. In fact, you would not find a better way to get over past frustrations and overcome future anxieties. One of the reasons people tend to lose their cool is because they are living in the past or being anxious about the future.

Helps you achieve goals

One of the things you will put down in your daily journal is your dreams and ambitions. Writing down what you hope to achieve in the future adds color to an idea that would, otherwise, have died in the mind. A goal, once written down, acts as a blueprint of what you want to achieve. Your brain takes your goals to be more important when you write it down.

Improves your emotional intelligence

As a human being, you have lots of emotions to grapple. Therefore, you need to have the ability to perceive and manage your emotions. Not […]

  • men, couples, relationship, women, toxic relationship
    3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men 3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men

    3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men

3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men

There are specific qualities in the male character that appeal to women. Confidence. The man that has absolutely no insecurities….that you notice. Intelligence. The man who can hold an intellectual and lengthy conversation. Leadership.  The man who can lead a group or corporation in the right direction financially.

All of the qualities mentioned above are great to desire in a mate, however those qualities are not the only things needed for a healthy relationship. More often than not women have a checklist including things like, he must have a good job, he must be intelligent, and he must be on my level…meaning boss level!

Women rarely require a man to be a great communicator, meaning he can articulate his emotional needs. Or, a man to be compassionate, meaning he is able to allow the you to be you without insult. Lastly, women do no require a man to be someone who does not avoid conflict,  meaning the two of you will commit to discuss a win-win ending in times of disagreements.

Why do women over look these qualities.  Could it be because of great SEX!? Emotionally unavailable men may be some of the best partners you will ever encounter in bed. But, their selflessness in bed are not transferred to their emotional openness in a relationship.

Here are 3 reasons women fall for emotionally unavailable men:

  1. After seeing red flags, you stay in the relationship believing you can change him.
  2. You struggle with low self-worth.  Poor self-worth leads to poor thinking. Poor thinking leads to a false sense of reality.
  3. Feelings of rejection in a relationship feels normal due to your experiences of rejection in your childhood. Rejection can be so dangerous because it can lead […]
  • 5 Tips To Help You Deal with Holiday Depression 5 Tips To Help You Deal with Holiday Depression

    5 Tips To Help You Deal with Holiday Depression

5 Tips To Help You Deal with Holiday Depression

Holiday Depression 

 Are the holidays a time of depression and passive suicidal thoughts for you? Do you feel an over emphasis of uncertainty or the fear of never having the life you have envisioned for yourself during the holidays? Life is bigger than supplements and enhancement. Life is about living and believing that what we have is enough as we are on the journey to living life of abundance. It is time for you to take inventory of where you are now. Are you in the same place as you were last year? Has your situation changed, in a positive or negative way? You have the power to change your current situation. Here are 5 tips to help you counteract holiday depression.

1.  Make the decision to take the journey for change now.

2.  Pay attention to how you talk to yourself  and turn those negative thoughts to   positive thoughts.

3.  Surround yourself with like minded positive people.

4.   Join a local support group, avoid isolation.

5. Forgive yourself for all mistakes and believe that it will get better.

If you are struggling in this area and want advice, guidance or support call me today at Life Counseling Solutions at 407.622.1770

Orlando blended family and weightloss CounselingCherlette combines person-centered, cognitive-behavioral, Solution-Focus, brief therapy along with other theoretical models as needed. Cherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that
counseling should be tailored to the needs of the client. Her goal is to help you explore the negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck and no longer beneficial. Cherlette will […]

Dealing With In-Laws Who Do Not Seem To Accept You

Is it normal to want to be accepted by your in-laws?

Not feeling accepted by your mother and father in-law can bring complications, causing you to feel rejected and uncomfortable around them. If you think about it you’re joining into a family with a long history of established bonds. Realistically it can feel like you are the outsider especially when your in-laws have a strong bond with your spouse’s Ex.

If your relationship with your own parents is strong and in-tact the one with your mother and father in-law may never measure up. Don’t make the assumption that the same relationship you have with your parents you will have with your mother and father in law.

Rejection by in laws is emotionally hard. In reality you may never be accepted by your in laws the most important factor in resolving problems of acceptance by in-laws is your spouse’s support.

 When it comes to dealing with  in-laws who do not seem to accept you, here are 3 tools to remember:

1. Loving your spouse includes honoring his or her parents.

2. Validate your spouse’s feelings when he/she shares their perception of a situation that took place with your parents/ in-laws.

3. Don’t hold negative feelings towards your spouse based on your in laws actions towards you.

If this situation resonates with you and you want guidance, advice or support call me today 407.230.4582 or 407.622.1770 or email cherlette@lifecounselingsolutions.com

Blended Families: Boundaries with the “Ex”

Blended Families: Boundaries with the “Ex”

The toxic/vindictive ex-wife or husband that doesn’t respect the boundaries of their relationship with their ex is because they have never really let go emotionally and will hang on for dear life all the while undermining the Ex’s capability to co-parent with them and move on to a new life. It would be nice if everyone involved could just get along, or at least be cordial but we all know that isn’t always the case. Setting firm boundaries helps everyone involved in a blended family situation. Boundaries allow everyone involved to have a clear path with realistic expectations with sharing information and face to face meet ups. The goal of setting boundaries is so that while you are co-parenting you will develop and maintain a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.

Let’s look at what weak boundaries look like:

  1. Fixing his/her leaky faucet, cooking him/her meals, etc.
  2. Having sex with your ex
  3. Loaning him/her money when you’re struggling to pay your own bills
  4. Looking at your ex’s social media posts and photos and becoming angry
  5. Allowing your ex to have/use keys to your home or car
  6. Using your Ex for emotional support in happy or sad times
  7. Sharing banking, email accounts with your Ex
  8. Allowing your mail to go to your Ex’s home/not changing your mailing address

How to set Healthy, realistic boundaries with your Ex:

  1. Make a list of the reasons why boundaries are needed.
  2. […]

3 Tips to Accept your New Body after Bariatric Surgery

3 Tips to Accept Your New Body after Bariatric Surgery

by Cherlette McCullough

After under-going weight-loss surgery a lot of men and women and men struggle with accepting their new body.  After surgical weightloss Most patients struggle with the extra skin, baggy clothes, compliments their not use to hearing, insults from the naysayers etc.  All of which can cause added stress to the already difficult lift style changes. The stress can then cause sadness which can turn to into depression or addiction.  Bariatric patients often times end up back in the situation they were in prior to weight-loss surgery, because they didn’t make the efforts to heal emotionally to what may have been the cause of the weight gain.  Losing the weight is great however; holding the emotional grudges against yourself make it  hard to accept your new body.

weightloss, bariatric surgery, self-love

Here are 3 Tips to Start Accepting Your New Body:

  1. Remember Your Why. Keep in mind why you decided to have weight loss surgery. Write yourself reminders to see throughout the day.
  2. Think of yourself in a positive way. When you start having the negative thoughts; challenge yourself to recognize the pattern, stop it and replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts/affirmations. For example, I am beautiful; I love myself and my new body. I accept the new me.
  3. Do not avoid mirrors or clothes shopping for clothing that fit. Don’t hide in the oversized clothes. Go shopping with a trusted friend or family member. Often times we aren’t able to truly see the weight loss and still try to buy the pre-surgery sizes.  Bring someone with you to help […]