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  • Are You Where You Think You Should Be? Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

    Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

Are You Where You Think You Should Be?

Have you ever stopped and said to yourself…I’m not where I thought I would be by the age that I am now? You ever felt like you’ve wasted your time of things that were fruitless? Now that you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s you take inventory of your life and come to the conclusion that what you expected to be by now has not happened. The career goals, the marriage, the baby, the house, the credit score, the travel plans….it hasn’t happened. What do you do Now? 1. There really is no shortcut to getting your true desires so stop looking for one. 2. Take ownership in the part you played in the delay of your true desires. 3. Refocus on your true desires. Just because it didn’t happen in your timing doesn’t mean it will not happen. 4. Get help. Get aligned with people who will push and continue to push you in that direction. 5. Get committed to really working on your self development mentally, physically and financially. Fulfilling your real desires is a process. Forgive yourself and those who you believe to have delayed your process. Of course you will feel disappointed. After you cried, talked about it, received help, prayed about it…it is still your responsibility to get up and get focused to take daily action steps towards your real desires. If you need additional assistance to take action steps to your real desires then call Life Counseling Solutions today at 407-622-1770 to set an appointment with me. Cherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs […]
  • Rejection Hurts Rejection Hurts

    Rejection Hurts

Rejection Hurts

 If you have ever experience rejection you know how it leaves you…hurt, sad with many questions. It effects our self worth, self acceptance & how we view ourselves in all relationships. As a result of experiencing the emotional pain we cope by trying to avoid it in our future. In efforts to avoid it we become “perfectionist” & “people pleasers”. We go on a quest for the perfect mate, perfect look, perfect career, perfect size etc. We stop asking for what we want with the goal of hiding and pleasing everyone around us. How do we release the fears that prevents  us from being fully who we are? The journey of healing from rejection starts with releasing every experience of rejection that you have ever experienced. If this resonates with you and you desire help in this area call me today at 407-622-1770 to start the healing process. Cherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of the client. Her goal is to help you explore the negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck and are no longer beneficial. Cherlette will help you replace them with positive beliefs that will help you move towards growth and your desired change. Read more about her here
  • How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

    How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

How To Deal With Tough Questions As A Women

Are you often asked…WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED? Or WHEN ARE YOU HAVING BABIES? When we are between the ages of 25 -35 we are often asked by friends, family, co-workers and our church family “When are you going to get married?” Once we get married we are asked by the same group of people “When are you going to have children.” So imagine if you are between the ages of  35-45 and neither has happened no marriage, no babies. Oh gosh, you are made to feel like you have some how failed at life. The expectation from our friends, family, co-workers and our church family or society in general is for us to get married, have babies and to explain ourselves if we don’t have either or if we have one or the other. It’s like an unspoken expectation of perfectionism. If you think about it the loaded questions of ” When are you getting married? and When are you having babies? is incredibly personal, somewhat hurtful depending on your specific situation and can be offensive. Lastly  it can make you feel unworthy, ashamed and guilty. The next time you are asked these two personal questions answer them with a answer that validates your choices .For example, you can say “I have a lot of responsibilities that keep me busy. When the time comes it will happen. If you want help, guidance, or support for attracting healthy relationships or you find yourself going from relationship to relationship call me today at 407.622.1770  Cherlette is a realistic and compassionate person who believes that counseling should be tailored to the needs of […]
  • Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage

    Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage

Why Men’s Depression So Often Looks Like Anger or Rage

By: Mike Martinez Oftentimes you will see men getting angry and exhibit rage-like symptoms. What does this look like? Throwing things, violence, yelling… power? It’s highly unlikely that it will look like sadness. More often than not men will choose to express themselves in ways that show power and control versus the vulnerability and hurt that is associated with depression. Depression causes us to feel the opposite of powerful and in control. It cripples us. We feel weak. Useless. Weakness and uselessness are unacceptable in our society – especially for men. Depression can be extremely frustrating. In times of frustration we may choose to exhibit anger. This may look like blowing up at friends, family, and co-workers. One reason that we may act like this is because in a way, we’re taking control and power back. If we cannot control how we feel then you better believe we will try to control that other person! Another reason that is closely related to this is avoidance. In order to avoid feeling our depression we will act out instead. Men don’t want to feel… why would we? It’s much easier to throw something across the room or throw a punch than to throw ourselves into our psyche. We also really don’t want to let anyone in to see what’s really going on (see paragraph above). As men we would like to keep our vulnerability to ourselves, thank you.. not that we have any or anything… Fear can also be a motivating factor in why depression so often looks like anger in men. We may be experiencing depression that is related to a fear we have. Instead of saying something like, “I’m so awfully terrified of losing you. Please […]
  • 7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School 7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

    7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

7 Ways To Help Your Kids | Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School

By: Janie Lacy How can anyone explain tragedies like the relatively recent killings in Parkland, Florida to kids? There are a few things that parents can do to address any questions or any fears that may come up in children after being exposed to news reports or conversations from classmates.  1) Be Flexible It is important that you realize there is no exact right or wrong way to answer any difficult questions about any of these tragedies. What matters the most is that children know that they can talk to you about their feelings and ask questions (i.e. that it is safe to talk about it). 2) Ask Open-Ended Questions You want to ask kids open-ended questions such as, “what happened in school today? What did you see today? How do you feel about that conversation? This may help facilitate them expressing their feelings. 3) Maintain Routines Encourage your child to go to school if they want to stay home. When they are at school with other children and teachers, this can be the best place for them to confront any anxieties. If your child is really upset and wants the day off with you, that is ok too. Just make sure any changes in routine don’t become permanent. 4) Be Reassuring Use language to distance the child from the tragedy and reassure them that they will be safe at school. You can say things like, “that happened far away and I will do everything I can to keep you safe.” 5) Use Developmentally Appropriate Language Children as young as 2 can be aware that something is happening, but the amount of information they need still changes age by age. It is not advisable to give them point-by-point explanation of the shooting but avoid […]
  • All About Overcoming Codependency in Women All About Overcoming Codependency in Women

    All About Overcoming Codependency in Women

All About Overcoming Codependency in Women

Do You Have A Relationship Addiction?! Codependency also known as ‘relationship addiction’ implies a disturbed emotional state of putting the needs of your partner before you. Many women are victims of this codependency which forces them to stay in a self-defeating relationship. The reason is that they are either fearful of being left alone or feel entirely responsible to keep their partner happy. This tendency to please the partner leads to a toxic relationship which often makes a woman get attracted to even emotionally unavailable men. Here are some relevant signs of a woman getting into codependent relationship. Signs of Codependent Relationship You go beyond your limits to make your partner happy. You even avoid confronting your partner even on imperative issues just because you fear rejection. Are you constantly worrying what your partner would think of you? Has it become your habit to ignore your partner’s dishonesty, jealousies, and possessiveness? Are you ignoring your self-care and even self respect just because of this relationship? Well, if the answer to all the above mentioned points is yes, then you are in danger obviously. However, by following some reliable tips, you can definitely come out of this toxic and dangerous relationship state. Overcoming Codependency If you find your present relationship to be destructive, try to look at your own behavior. You will get to see where you are wrong. There is nothing wrong in being self compassionate. Remember, you are your own responsibility and you do not have to feel guilt about taking own care. It is fine and healthy to take other’s help. In fact, many women have a perception that it is a sign of weakness to take help from anyone else. However, it is not […]
  • journaling, healthy, self-care
    6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain 6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain

    6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain

6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain

6 Reasons How Journaling Helps Your Brain Did you know that affirmations and journaling can be very beneficial to you? Of course, journaling is not just about writing, but it is more about putting down your thoughts and affirming yourself. The following are some of the benefits of affirmations and journaling: Builds your IQ It is possible to stretch your IQ through the simple task of journaling. In fact, journaling has been found to be a good way of exploring language and, in the process, increasing your vocabulary. With an improved vocabulary, you will certainly come out as more intelligent than you were before you started. Puts you in a state of mindfulness In recent days, mindfulness has become a common prescription for people looking to be happier in their lives. Affirmations and journaling are some of the best ways you can achieve a state of mindfulness. In fact, you would not find a better way to get over past frustrations and overcome future anxieties. One of the reasons people tend to lose their cool is because they are living in the past or being anxious about the future. Helps you achieve goals One of the things you will put down in your daily journal is your dreams and ambitions. Writing down what you hope to achieve in the future adds color to an idea that would, otherwise, have died in the mind. A goal, once written down, acts as a blueprint of what you want to achieve. Your brain takes your goals to be more important when you write it down. Improves your emotional intelligence As a human being, you have lots of emotions to grapple. Therefore, you need to have the ability to perceive and manage your emotions. Not […]
  • men, couples, relationship, women, toxic relationship
    3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men 3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men

    3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men

3 Reasons Why Powerful Women Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Men

There are specific qualities in the male character that appeal to women. Confidence. The man that has absolutely no insecurities….that you notice. Intelligence. The man who can hold an intellectual and lengthy conversation. Leadership.  The man who can lead a group or corporation in the right direction financially. All of the qualities mentioned above are great to desire in a mate, however those qualities are not the only things needed for a healthy relationship. More often than not women have a checklist including things like, he must have a good job, he must be intelligent, and he must be on my level…meaning boss level! Women rarely require a man to be a great communicator, meaning he can articulate his emotional needs. Or, a man to be compassionate, meaning he is able to allow the you to be you without insult. Lastly, women do no require a man to be someone who does not avoid conflict,  meaning the two of you will commit to discuss a win-win ending in times of disagreements. Why do women over look these qualities.  Could it be because of great SEX!? Emotionally unavailable men may be some of the best partners you will ever encounter in bed. But, their selflessness in bed are not transferred to their emotional openness in a relationship. Here are 3 reasons women fall for emotionally unavailable men: After seeing red flags, you stay in the relationship believing you can change him. You struggle with low self-worth.  Poor self-worth leads to poor thinking. Poor thinking leads to a false sense of reality. Feelings of rejection in a relationship feels normal due to your experiences of rejection in your childhood. Rejection can be so dangerous because it can lead […]
  • Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery

    Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery

Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery

Deathly Afraid of Labor and Delivery You are excited to be a new mom, to meet your precious little one. The only thing standing in your way is… delivery. You are deathly afraid and anxious about labor. You have a hard time sleeping and feeling calm as months, weeks, and days approach your delivery date. Worst case scenarios cycle through your head and anxiety swells up in your chest. You are so desperate to find some peace. Here are few tips to help you manage and reduce your fear and anxiety about labor and delivery. Avoid Scary Stories The worst possible thing you can do is  to swarm your mind with scary birth stories. Researching every possible outcome about what can go wrong is not helpful. You might be more informed, but you will be more fearful. Constant researching will add fuel to the anxiety fire. Limit your time on the internet and direct your mind on what excites and calms you. Plan with Your Doula or Midwife Overwhelming yourself with every potential incident that can go wrong is unhelpful. However, being prepared is not. Develop multiple plans with your doula and midwife in case a wrench is thrown into your ideal birthing plan. Having different plans can help ease distress because you know what you are getting yourself into. The plans will help calm anxieties of unforeseen situations. Create a Mantra How clearly are you thinking when your emotions are overwhelming you? Do you remember all the helpful tools your read? Are you logically? The answer is no! When you are wrapped up in your emotions or feelings, clarity is thrown out the window. Therefore, it is important to have a mantra you can repeat to yourself or […]
By |January 18th, 2018|Articles|0 Comments
  • What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

    What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

What To Do If Your Teen Is Self-Harming

You just found out your teen is self-harming. Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. You feel shocked, confused, and utterly lost. What now? You are not alone. About 17% of teenagers have engaged in self-harm at least once according to the American Psychological Association.  Often times, self-harm occurs as a way to cope with distressing feelings or situations. Teens who self-harm are not intending to die but are desiring relief. It may seem counterintuitive to be harming oneself as a way to get relief but it is true. Many teens lack the knowledge or skills to effectively cope in healthy ways. Therefore, they turn to self-harm as a way to distract and overwhelm their internal pain with external pain. Self-harm is common among teens but in particular those in middle-school age groups. There are different forms of self-harm from skin cutting, burning, to head banging or hitting as stated by Mental Health America. Teens may pursue this unhealthy coping as a way to deal with anxiety, bullying issues, or intense feelings of sadness. Self-harming is an incredibly shaming behavior as a result teens self-harm in less visible places such as their upper thigh, arms, or wrists and hide their visibility. As a parent all you want to do is protect and stop this self-destructive behavior. Here are few steps on how to help your teen after your discovery. Engage with love not fear tactics It is important to engage your teen after discovering this unhealthy behavior.